Baby Miracle In The Er. Sue MacKay

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СКАЧАТЬ in Auckland and history had slapped her around the head. Her one attempt at IVF five years ago had failed and her husband had refused to try again, saying it was a waste of time when the doctors couldn’t find any reason for her infertility.

      No problems in his department, apparently. And no relief for her empty arms that longed to hold her own baby. It had hit her hard today. Much harsher than it had in a while. She guessed that was what happened when she returned home to where it had all happened.

      ‘Stephanie? Is that you?’

      The deep, throaty voice spun her name into unwelcome heated memories and warmed her skin to knock sideways the chill that had taken over in the ambulance.

      Michael. Don’t move.

      It might be that she’d imagined him. Anything was possible today.

      ‘Hello,’ he said. ‘Welcome back. You’ve been missed around here.’

      The air swirled around her, touching down on the exposed skin of her face, her neck, her hands. A shape lined up beside her. A peek to the right and there was no doubt about it. Her imagination had not been playing games. She wasn’t sure if that was good. Or bad.

      Dr Michael Laing’s shoulders and back rested against the wall, those legs that went on for ever were crossed at the ankles and his hands—oh, yeah, she remembered those hands as much as his lips—were jammed into the pockets of his crumpled scrubs. Just as she remembered him—utterly gorgeous, with that never quite styled hair falling over his forehead in soft curls.

      When he said, ‘Still as quiet as ever,’ she shivered.

      She wasn’t ready for this—not after those babies arriving in her unprepared hands. ‘Hi.’

       Now leave me to pull myself together.

      Right then her nose ran and she had to sniff.

      He dug into a back pocket, held a handkerchief out. ‘Here, use this. I promise it’s clean.’

      Did he have to sound exactly the same? Couldn’t he have grown a polyp in his throat? Or permanently lost his voice from too much shouting at the sidelines of a rugby game?

      ‘Those babies got to you, didn’t they? They would have got me too if I’d been there. Stephanie...’ He paused, gentled his voice. ‘They’re in expert hands, and everyone in PICU will be working their butts off to save them.’

      Pushing away from the wall, she eyeballed him. Nearly choked on a sudden inhalation of air. Michael. That open, friendly face, those intense azure eyes still with the thin layer of need he’d hate to be recognised, that tempting mouth...

      ‘I know. Sorry for being a goof.’

      ‘Hardly. You’re human.’

      His smile was warm. Tentative?

      She blew her nose, gave herself breathing space. ‘I’m fine. Really.’

       I was until twenty seconds ago. Liar.

      She hadn’t been right since she realised her patient’s IVF babies were coming far too early.

      His gaze was caring. Oh, how she remembered that caring. It was his middle name.

      ‘My thoughts exactly. Just having a bit of a kip against the wall. I get it. It’s how I cope with a crisis too.’

      Uh-uh. Not so. Her memory was excellent. This man dealt with harrowing issues by striding out for hours, those long legs chewing up kilometre after kilometre as he went over and over whatever was eating him up. Her leg muscles had ached for days after she’d stuck with him for nearly three hours, charging along the city waterfront, listening as he worked his way through grief and anger one particularly dark day.

      ‘I haven’t suffered a crisis.’

       Not much.

      So why were her knees feeling like over-oiled hinges?

      His mouth quirked in a funny, heart-slowing way. ‘You used to be embarrassingly honest.’

      As in, I feel something for you, Michael and would love to continue seeing you, honest?

      But unlike that day, when he’d intoned in a flat voice that he wasn’t interested, now there was a friendly warmth in his voice that touched her deeply. Made her feel vulnerable as the longing to tell him everything cascaded through her.

      Tightening her knees, lifting her chin, stuffing that need way down in a dark place, she went with a different truth. ‘I’m gutted that I couldn’t stop those babies coming.’ Even though she was not a doctor. ‘They’re far too early.’

      His elbow nudged her lightly. ‘No one would’ve been able to do that, Stephanie. Please stop beating yourself up. You don’t deserve it.’

      Seemed he cared that she got this right—which, if she wasn’t prudent, could make falling into those eyes too easy, could make leaving today behind for a while effortless.

      Some of the frost that had been enveloping her heart for so long melted. ‘That doesn’t stop me wishing I could’ve.’

      His eyes lightened as he looked her over with that smile lingering at the corners of his mouth, offering her support when she most definitely hadn’t asked for it. Not that she didn’t want to ask, but laying her heart out for him to see when she was messed up over those babies would not be her greatest move.

      Time to go back to base and hopefully a straightforward call-out to someone who thought they were having a heart attack but in reality had indigestion. Whoever it was would get all the care Steph was capable of before being handed over to the ED staff. And at least then she wouldn’t feel as though the ground had been cut from under her.

      ‘Kath’s full of praise for you. Says you were awesome.’ Michael held her gaze. ‘Hold on to that thought. Stop punishing yourself. It’s not your fault your patient was well on the way to going into full labour by the time you picked her up. There wasn’t another thing you could’ve done.’

      Ping. Her lips lifted of their own volition. ‘Back at me, huh?’

      Her words of wisdom from years ago weren’t so easy to accept when they came from the opposite direction.

      ‘Only because you were right.’

      He hadn’t thought so at the time—had said she didn’t know what she was talking about, didn’t understand his grief over losing that little boy.

      ‘Being a paramedic seems harder because the buck stops with us until we get to an emergency department. I never felt alone when I was working in here, or so responsible for someone else.’

      So gutted when the situation turned to custard. The odds on one, let alone both those babies surviving were long. A shudder rocked her and she wrapped her arms around herself.

      ‘Yet even in here you fought tooth and nail for your patients, no matter who else was around.’

      His words were a СКАЧАТЬ