Modern Romance October 2019 Books 5-8. Annie West

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      ‘And your cousin didn’t measure up?’

      Hannah’s eyes shot to Leonidas’s. ‘I didn’t say that.’

      ‘No, you are being deliberately tactful on that score.’

      There was enough praise in that observation to bring heat to Hannah’s cheeks, but she denied it.

      ‘I’m not being coy. I just don’t think like that. Michelle struggled at school; I didn’t. I suspect she has some kind of undiagnosed dyslexia—no matter how much time we spent going over things, she found the comprehension impossible. I think she wasn’t able to read clearly, and covered it by acting uninterested.’

      ‘You mentioned this to your aunt?’

      Hannah nodded. ‘Once. She was furious.’ Hannah’s expression was unconsciously pained, her features pinched tight as her gaze travelled back towards the ocean.

      ‘And you, in comparison, excelled at your studies?’

      Hannah nodded slowly. ‘Some people respond well to the school system, others don’t. I’m lucky in that I’m one of the former.’

      ‘And a lifetime of feeling compared to has made you downplay your natural abilities even now, here, to me.’

      She startled at that insight. ‘It’s the truth.’

      ‘It is also the truth to say you are intelligent, and I would bet my fortune on the fact you worked hard at school, too.’ He softened his tone a little, but didn’t quit his line of questioning. ‘Isn’t it possible that your aunt resented how well you did, compared to Michelle? That she couldn’t get help for her daughter because it would be admitting she was, in some way, inferior?’

      ‘If I’m right and Michelle had a learning difficulty of sorts then she could have been helped, and achieved far better results than she did.’

      He dipped his head in a silent concession. ‘But your aunt didn’t want to pursue that. And so, instead, she took away your dreams, condemning you to a life of mediocrity so her own daughter would look better in comparison?’

      Hannah sucked in a sharp breath, his words like acid rain against her flesh. ‘I don’t think you could call my life mediocre…’

      ‘You should have been studying law, poised to move into the career you really wanted. And your aunt should have been supporting you. This is what you meant, when you said you have felt what people are capable of?’

      She opened her mouth to deny it, but he was too insightful. Too right. She shrugged instead, lifting her shoulders and turning away from him.

      ‘Where was your uncle in all of this?’

      ‘Gary?’

      ‘You speak of your aunt and your cousin, but I have not heard you say his name once.’

      ‘He worked a lot. We weren’t close.’

      ‘And yet he must have known how his wife was behaving. He did nothing?’

      ‘It’s not like that. Aunt Cathy isn’t a monster. It’s complicated.’

      ‘How?’

      Hannah shook her head thoughtfully. ‘It was so long ago, and I don’t really know anything for certain. It’s more just things I’ve picked up from throwaway comments. I think she was very close to my dad—her brother. And when Mum entered the scene, Aunt Cathy was jealous. Hurt. My mum was…’ Hannah’s smile was melancholy and she closed her eyes, seeing Eleanor May as she’d been in life—so vital, so beautiful. ‘She was a pretty amazing woman. A diplomat for the United Nations, well travelled, passionate, funny, and so stunning.’

      ‘So this is where you get it from,’ he murmured, the compliment wrapping around her, filling her with gold dust.

      Hannah smiled slowly, memories of her past pulling at her. ‘I used to love watching her get ready for parties. She had this long, dark brown hair, like chocolate, that fell to her waist. She would coil it up into a bun, high on the top of her head, so that whatever dangly earrings she chose to wear would take your breath away.’ Hannah felt him come closer, his body heat and proximity firing something in her blood.

      ‘And she and Dad were so happy together. They used to laugh, all the time. I was just a kid when they died, but I’ll never forget them, I’ll never forget how lucky I was to have them as my example in life.’

      He was quiet, but it didn’t matter. Some part of Leonidas had slipped into Hannah, forming a part of her, so she understood—she understood his silence equated to disapproval of Aunt Cathy, and her inability to let Hannah properly grieve.

      And long-held needs to defend Aunt Cathy were difficult to ignore. ‘Cathy and Gary weren’t like my parents. They married young, because she was pregnant. She lost the baby but they stayed together and it always felt a bit like they resented each other.’

      She turned to face him then, her chest heavy with the myriad sadnesses of the past. ‘I don’t want our marriage to be like that, Leonidas.’

      Her eyes raked his face and she chewed her lower lip thoughtfully as he stared at her, his eyes unshifting from hers, his expression impossible to interpret.

      ‘I was wrong about you.’ Leonidas’s words came out hoarse, thickened by regret.

      ‘When?’

      ‘I presumed you did not know enough of grief to counsel me, to offer me any thoughts on my own experiences. That was incredibly arrogant.’ He lifted a hand, running it over her hair, his attention shifting higher, as if mesmerised by the auburn shades there, flecked with gold. ‘I downplayed what you have been through because I couldn’t believe anyone could feel loss like mine.’

      ‘It’s not like yours,’ she said softly, gently, her heart breaking. ‘No grief is the same. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose your partner, nor your child.’ She shook her head sadly from side to side. ‘I’m five months pregnant and the idea of anything ever happening to our daughter fills me with a kind of rage I can’t put into words.’ Her lips twisted in a humourless smile. ‘You must be a mix of anger and fury and pain and disbelief all the time.’ She swallowed, rallying her thoughts. ‘You don’t need to apologise to me. I understood what you meant.’

      ‘But I didn’t understand you,’ he insisted. ‘I didn’t realise that beyond the somewhat sanitised phrase of “orphan” are all the memories of parents you loved, parents who made you happy and secure, parents who were replaced by an inferior substitute—an insecure and competitive woman who spent her life trying to diminish you.’

      Hannah’s lips pulled downwards, as she tried to reconcile his vision of Aunt Cathy.

      ‘You should have studied law,’ he said, simply. ‘And anyone who loved you would have pushed you to do that, supporting you, encouraging you, making it easier—not harder—to pursue your dreams.’

      Hannah’s heart turned over in her chest, because he was right. Even Angus hadn’t said as much to her.

      ‘Your parents left you money. That could have been used to СКАЧАТЬ