Modern Romance October 2019 Books 5-8. Annie West

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СКАЧАТЬ than a lifetime with me.’ His lips were grim. ‘I’m not the man you want me to be.’

      ‘And what do I want you to be?’

      He expelled a soft breath then stepped back a little, just enough to put some distance between them. ‘A clean slate.’

      The words were strange. Discordant. At first, she couldn’t make sense of them. But as he turned and pulled his shorts on, she saw the weight on his shoulders, the ghosts that chased him, and comprehension shifted through her.

      ‘You’re wrong.’ She dropped the words like little, tiny bombs. He didn’t turn around, but he froze completely still, so she knew he was listening. ‘I know you have a past, just like I do. But I’m not going to marry you if you’re telling me I’m going to be living with a brick wall. I’m not getting married if I think there’s no hope of having a living, breathing, red-blooded man as my husband.’

      He turned around then, his expression bleak at first, and then filling with frustration. ‘And sex ticks that box for you?’

      Hannah frowned. That hadn’t been what she’d meant, but at the same time she knew it was a start. What they shared, physically, was a true form of intimacy. She didn’t need to have loads of experience to recognise that. She could see it in his eyes when he held her. She could feel the uniqueness of what they shared. He was trying to fight it, and she knew why.

      Intimacy like this must surely lead to more.

      With Angus, she’d operated on the reverse assumption. She’d hoped their friendship would bridge the way to a satisfying physical relationship. And it might have, but it would never have been like this.

      Nothing like it.

      This kind of connection couldn’t be learned.

      It was raw and organic, primal, between two people.

      She glared at him, challenging him from the depths of her soul. ‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘I’m not going to live here like a prisoner in a gilded cage, Leonidas.’ Her voice cracked as she firmed up on that resolution. ‘This island is stunning but it’s no place to live if you’re going to freeze me out.’

      ‘Does it look like I am freezing you out?’

      ‘But you want to,’ she insisted. ‘You want to fight this, not build on it.’

      His features tensed, his lips just a gash in his face, and she knew she was right.

      ‘And I won’t stay here if that’s the case.’ She tilted her chin bravely, when outside this island was a world she wasn’t sure she trusted any more. The reality of his wife and son’s murder was still exploding inside her, and she didn’t doubt there could be a risk to her.

      But there was risk here, too. Risk in living with a man who was determined to ice her out. What if he acted the same with their daughter? What if she were born and Leonidas made no effort to get to know her?

      His eyes narrowed. ‘How? You forget my island is practically inaccessible to anyone but me…’

      Hannah was breathless again, her pulse racing but for a wholly different reason. ‘Are you seriously threatening to kidnap me?’

      Frustration zipped through his body. ‘No.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘Christós, Hannah. You can’t leave the island.’

      ‘Ever?’ she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest to still the frantic hammering of her heart.

      ‘Not on your own,’ he amended. ‘I was careless once before, I cannot risk it again. I won’t have more on my conscience.’

      And her rapidly thumping heart softened, aching, breaking for Leonidas.

      ‘I’m so sorry you lost them,’ she said quietly. ‘But I’m not going to be a prisoner to your fears.’

      ‘They should be your fears, too.’

      ‘I want to keep our daughter safe.’ Her voice was level, careful. ‘Somewhere between me living out there on my own and the luxurious prison you’re proposing is a middle ground we need to find.’

      His eyes held hers for several beats. ‘I cannot agree to that.’ The words were wrenched from him, gravelled and thick with emotion.

      ‘Why not?’ she demanded, her hands shifting to her hips.

      ‘You cannot imagine what it was like,’ he said, grimly. ‘To get that call, to see their bodies.’ He shook his head from side to side and stopped speaking, but his face was lined with grief.

      Tears bit at the back of Hannah’s throat; sympathy rushed through her. ‘I can’t even imagine that, you’re right.’ She lifted a hand to his chest, running it over his muscled flesh.

      ‘I made a choice after they died. I planned to stay single for the rest of my life.’

      Hannah’s stomach clenched.

      ‘I didn’t want this. I have done everything I could to avoid it.’ His words were heavy with despair. She felt it and wished she could take it away, but how? ‘I knew we shouldn’t have slept together. It was so selfish of me but I was careful, Hannah. I did everything I could to make sure this wouldn’t happen. I didn’t want this.’

      She wasn’t sure when she’d let herself care enough about him that his words would hold such a latent power to wound, but they cut her deep.

      ‘You shouldn’t have to live in this—what did you call it? Gilded prison? Because of me.’

      She couldn’t speak.

      ‘But you do.’ The words were grim. ‘Surely you can see that? I can’t risk anything happening to you, to her.’ He lifted a hand to Hannah’s stomach, curving it over the bump there. His eyes met Hannah’s with a burning intensity.

      ‘Let me protect you both. Please.’

      ‘I am,’ she said, quietly, stroking his chest, her eyes determined. ‘But this is my life we’re talking about.’

      He gazed at her, his expression strangely uncertain. ‘I know that.’

      ‘I want to marry you.’ The words felt right, completely perfect. ‘I know it’s the sensible decision.’ And strength surged inside her. ‘When my mum and dad died, I lost everything. Our home, my community, my school, my friends. I went to live somewhere new and different and I was miserable,’ she said, frankly, so captivated by her past that she didn’t see the way his expression changed with the force of his concentration.

      ‘I don’t want our daughter to ever know that kind of uncertainty. You’re her dad, and by doing this together, she’ll have two people who can love her and look after her. And as she grows older, we’ll surround her with other people who’ll love her and know her, so that if anything ever happened to us and she were left alone, she would eventually be okay. Don’t you see that, Leonidas? I need her to be okay, just like you do, but, for me, one of the worst things we can do is isolate her. Keep her locked up from this world, so we’re the only people she ever really knows. She СКАЧАТЬ