Single Dads Collection. Lynne Marshall

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ My husband passed away, too. I know the pain, the emptiness. I get that you don’t know which way to turn for happiness or if it even exists anymore.”

      She didn’t want to get too far into that part of her life, but she wanted him to know how much she understood, how she could offer support.

      “I know after Evan passed, I went into this depression. I had survivor’s guilt even though I wasn’t there when he died. I was questioning why I had the opportunity to move on and be happy when he didn’t. If it weren’t for my friends, I’m not sure where I’d be. If you want to talk…”

      He scratched the side of his jaw. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life,” he admitted. “There are days I don’t want to get out of bed. There are times, more often than not, that the survivor’s guilt threatens to take over. But Emma needs her father at one hundred percent because right now, I’m mom and dad to her.”

      The lump in Lucy’s throat seemed to grow with each raw word of honesty. “I’m here if you need a sounding board,” she said. “As a friend, I know. But it’s important to get that adult time and communication during your grieving process.”

      “I’m pretty sure my shrink in Texas gave me all the adult time I could need for the rest of my life.” Noah reached over and slid the tins toward the edge of the counter. “I better get going. Thanks for having Emma over to see the horses and to bake.”

      “You guys are welcome here anytime.” Lucy knew the night had to come to an end, but she hated for him to go. “I liked having her around. And you.”

      “Glad to hear it.”

      She opted to push a little more, testing both their comfort zones. “When we’re off again, maybe you two can come back for horse riding and a picnic.”

      Noah eased back, his eyes holding hers. “Count on it.”

      “Are you sure you don’t want ice for your jaw?” Lucy hated the thought of her friend losing his cool and hitting Noah.

      “Nah. I’ve had worse,” he told her. “I’ll put something on it when I get home. How’s the hip?”

      “I’ve had so much fun this evening, I’ve forgotten about it,” she admitted. “It hurts more when I walk on it, but I think that’s also going to help work out the soreness.”

      Noah stared at her another minute and Lucy had no idea what was running through his mind. He kept his eyes on her, but said nothing. The silence stretched between them with only the faint sound of the television in the background.

      “Thank you,” he finally said, his voice full of emotion. “There’s not much lately that really penetrates the hurt, but you have. You’ve not only been great for me, but to spend this time with Emma… I can’t thank you enough. I know she misses having a female in her life. Her sitter is great, but someone younger and fun is what she needed for a night.”

      Lucy placed her hand on his. “She’s precious. I can be a friend to you both.”

      “All while juggling work, your community service and your schoolwork?” Noah reached up with his free hand and smoothed the stray strands off her forehead. “Who takes care of you?”

      “I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

      Though having him touch her was something she wasn’t about to turn down. At least, touching when it was innocent and simple. Anything else, well, she’d have to work up to that. But Noah was the first man in so long she even wanted to explore that notion with, so she’d keep moving along and hoping something blossomed from this, because Noah Spencer was one special guy. And his daughter had captured Lucy’s heart, as well.

      Now she had to figure out where to put all these feelings and how to sort them.

      “Maybe you could come to the next meeting?” Lucy suggested.

      Noah shook his head. “I don’t need meetings. I’m getting along without them.”

      She wished he’d just come to one, to see that it wasn’t all doom and gloom. People needed a support team, and while Noah had Emma, how could the man actually grieve when he had to be so strong for a child?

      “Maybe you’ll reconsider,” she added.

      Noah’s dark eyes held hers. “Don’t try to get into my head, Lucy. I’m going at my own pace and it’s nobody’s business but mine.”

      He headed into the living room, clearly done with the topic. How could they move forward if he wasn’t prepared to face his pain?

      Lucy sank to a kitchen bar stool as her own hurt spiraled through her. Perhaps he didn’t want to move forward. He’d apologized for the kiss; he’d made it clear they could be friends. He’d summed up everything neat and tidy. But Lucy didn’t feel the discussion of their situation was closed. Not by a long shot.

       Chapter Ten

      “Why don’t you put the tray of cookies over on that table against the wall?” Lucy suggested.

      Tara rolled her eyes and Kate snorted. They’d both just come in the back door and Lucy was already in a panic because the community center wasn’t nearly ready for the Helping Hands open house. Why were they just standing there?

      “What?” Lucy asked.

      “You think we can just come in here and set up for the open house and we’re not going to address the fact that Noah was in Gallagher’s and did some male bonding with Gray?”

      “By bonding, do you mean fighting?” Lucy countered. “Because I saw his face afterward.”

      Kate’s eyes widened. “He came to your house after? Did you make him forget all about his troubles?”

      Lucy picked up the tray and crossed the room. “I’m not discussing this with you two.”

      “Why not?” Tara asked. “I’m sure you heard all about Gray losing his cool over Kate, and Sam nursing a beer all night.”

      Lucy set the tray down and turned to face her friends. “Actually, I hadn’t heard about Sam at all. And I only got the abridged version of Gray.”

      The fact Sam was nursing a beer at Gray’s bar wasn’t exactly news. For the past year he’d been somewhat depressed and Gray always had his back. Lucy wished Sam and Tara would make up, for the sake of their daughter for one reason. But she knew that not every marriage was meant to be.

      “Why do you two keep going there?” Lucy insisted, more than happy to turn the topic to her friends. “Why taunt those men?”

      “Sam isn’t always there,” Tara defended. “And when he is, he hugs the same bottle all night, so I know he’s not drunk. He doesn’t even look my way.”

      But Sam knew full well his ex-wife was there dancing and having a good time. And Sam didn’t look her way because it hurt to see her. Anybody could understand his logic. It wasn’t just death that caused people to grieve.

СКАЧАТЬ