Modern Romance August 2019 Books 1-4. Heidi Rice

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ once left me a note when you couldn’t face having an important conversation with me. Do you remember that, Lucas? Well, it’s my turn now—and I’m doing it for exactly the same reasons. I didn’t want a protracted goodbye, nor to have to offer explanations, or listen to any more accusations. I don’t want bitter words to rattle around in my brain and imprint themselves on my memory, when we need to keep this civilised. So I’ll be in touch when I’m settled and you can see as much or as little of our baby as you want. That’s all.’ She drew in a deep breath before letting it out in a husky sigh. ‘Don’t you understand? I’m setting you free, Lucas.’

      Something swelled up inside him like a growing wave—something dark and unwanted. How dared she offer him his freedom, when it was not hers to give? Did she consider him as some kind of puppet whose strings she could tug whenever the mood took her—just because she carried a part of him deep inside her? The dark feeling grew but deliberately he quashed it, because he needed to think clearly—his mind unobstructed by neither anger nor regret. Because maybe she was right. Maybe it was better this way. Better she left when things were tolerably amicable between them. Time and space would do the rest and once the dust had settled on their impetuous affair, they would be able to work out some kind of long-term plan. He would be good to her. That was a given. He would provide her with the finest home money could buy and all the childcare she needed. And he would...

      He swallowed, wondering why his throat felt as if it had been lined with barbed wire which had been left out in the rain. Even if fatherhood was an unknown and an unwanted concept—that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to step up to the plate and be dutiful, did it? To be there for his child as his own father had never been there for him.

      And if he found that impossible?

      Why wouldn’t he find it impossible, when he had no real template for family life? And wouldn’t it then follow that he was probably going to let her and the baby down, somewhere along the line?

      He swallowed as Tara’s accusations came back to ring with silent reproach in his ears.

       ‘Don’t you want to know why your mother sold you? To find out who your real father is and whether either of them are alive? To discover whether she had any more children?’

      His mouth hardened. No, he didn’t want to know any of those things. Why should he? In an ideal world he would have gone back to the life he’d had before. The one with no surprises. No analysis. No whip-slim woman challenging him with those sleepy amber eyes. But it wasn’t that simple. Nothing ever was.

      He cleared his throat. ‘Just let me know when you get back to Dalkey,’ he said coolly. ‘And please keep me up to speed with your plans. I will return to Ireland in time for the birth.’

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