Twins For Christmas. Alison Roberts

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       CHAPTER SEVEN

      FOR THE FIRST time in her life Emma Sinclair understood why they called it ‘falling’ in love.

      Because she could feel that her balance was teetering. That there was a chasm very nearby that she couldn’t afford to fall into. She could get hurt.

      Or hurt someone else.

      Poppy and Oliver perhaps?

      Or Adam?

      Her hands stilled in their task of hemming, sinking to end up in the folds of the silky blue dress puddled in her lap, as she stared through the window. It was snowing, she realised with a childish bubble of excitement.

      And then she remembered the kiss yet again and the bubble exploded into something decidedly more adult and compelling.

      Desire—pure and simple.

      Except it wasn’t that simple, was it? Oh, she’d noticed how good looking Adam McAllister was in the first moments of meeting him but she’d been a little afraid of him, too, if she was honest. The fierceness of him. The gruffness that came across as anger. The hidden depths that she’d glimpsed on that awful night when he’d ripped down the paper chains and caused the fire. And now she could add the capacity for passion into what this man was keeping hidden because she’d felt it in the touch of his lips.

      She’d glimpsed the softer side to him as well, in the love he had for his children and the bond he had with his dogs. Pulling her gaze away from the softly drifting snowflakes, Emma glanced towards the fire. Benji lay on his back like a puppy, his speckled belly exposed, but Bob had his nose on his paws and he was watching Emma. She could swear that the old dog knew exactly what she was thinking and that the liquid gaze was encouraging.

      He’s worth loving, it seemed to say. You won’t be sorry.

      ‘But I can’t, Bob.’ Emma actually spoke aloud. ‘I’m only here for a little bit longer.’

      Time didn’t matter to dogs, though, did it? They took their joy as it appeared, with no questions asked. Even if they were old or sick, they could still be in the moment and experience that joy a hundred per cent.

      People could learn a lot from dogs. Especially people who could be facing a terminal illness?

      What if she let herself fall for Adam—even if it was only for a blink in time? It wasn’t just for the small McAllister family that she’d resolved to make this the best-ever Christmas for, was it?

      If it was going to be her last Christmas, shouldn’t she make it the best ever one for herself, too?

      ‘It’s been such a long time, Bob,’ she whispered.

      Such a long time since she had been loved …

      Dear Lord, but it was tempting.

      Bob’s ears were pricked now. He looked like he was asking her a question and Emma found herself smiling at the dog. No—she didn’t have to disappear right after Christmas, when Catherine McAllister returned, did she? Adam was still going to need a nanny and it wasn’t as if she had another job prospect lined up. She didn’t need to work at all, in actual fact, because the small inheritance from her mother would be enough for quite some time.

      But she couldn’t offer Adam anything real. She didn’t do that kind of commitment. How could she, when she couldn’t offer any guarantee of permanence? When, instead, she could be sentencing someone to share things no one would choose to share.

      And he wouldn’t want it anyway, would he? The blue of the fabric in her lap seemed to glow more brightly. How could anyone compete with the ghost of the perfect wife and mother? The love of his life that had been tragically ripped away from him and their beloved children?

      The recently changed ring tone on her phone was for Christmas and Bob got to his feet as ‘Jingle Bells’ began. It was getting louder by the time Emma found the phone beneath the shimmery blue fabric.

      ‘It’ll be Sharon, I expect,’ she said, as Bob gave her hand a helpful nudge.

      Except it wasn’t.

      ‘Jack …’ It was such a surprise to hear from him. A shock even, because it pulled her back instantly to somewhere she’d managed to distract herself from completely in the last couple of weeks.

      ‘Hey, Emma. How’s it going up there in the wilds of Scotland?’

      ‘It’s snowing,’ she told him happily. ‘And it’s just gorgeous. What’s it like in London?’

      ‘Cold and grey. No snow. That’s why I thought I’d pop up for a visit next week.’

      ‘What?’ Emma blinked. The relationship was a complicated mix sometimes and she wasn’t sure if he was wearing his ‘close friend’ or ‘oncologist’ hat right now. ‘Why?’

      ‘I’m meeting with an oncology guru who happens to be over from the States, tracing his family tree. I must have told you about that international research project we’re both involved in. Jenny says I bore everyone with it.’ He chuckled, unrepentant. ‘Anyway, I said I’d fly up for the day and then I had this idea and got hold of a mate who works in the infirmary in Edinburgh. I pulled a few strings but … how would you feel about having your BMT and maybe getting the results by Christmas?’

      ‘Oh …’ Emma had to swallow hard. The unpleasant prospect of having a bone-marrow aspiration done for testing had been off her agenda until she got back to London. ‘I’m … not sure how I feel about that, Jack. I …’ Oh, help. She could hear the wobble in her voice that threatened tears. ‘I was trying to forget about it, you know? To make this Christmas really special, in case … in case …’

      ‘I know.’ There was a short silence and then Jack’s voice was gentle. ‘Things are going to shut down for a while down here, what with Christmas and then New Year. And the baby’s not far off making an appearance, which could complicate things a bit for me, but it’s entirely your call. It was just an idea.’

      Another silence as Emma’s mind raced. She would be thinking about it again now, wouldn’t she? Distraction would get harder. It could spoil things.

      She heard Jack clear his throat. ‘How ‘bout this for another idea? Get the test done and, if the result comes through in time and it’s what we hope it’s going to be, I can give it to you as your Christmas present. And we can all really celebrate.’

      He was including Sharon in that ‘we’. They’d got on famously from the moment they’d first met and had worked closely together to get Emma through the toughest of times.

      ‘And if it isn’t?’ Emma’s voice was so soft she didn’t think Jack would hear her but he did.

      ‘Then СКАЧАТЬ