The Life You Left. Carmel Harrington

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СКАЧАТЬ crazy, James.’ Sarah said suddenly with tears in her eyes. ‘I wasn’t then and I’m not now.’

      ‘I know that. You don’t need to say that to me Saz; I never believed you were crazy back then and you are one of the sanest people I know today.’

      ‘You haven’t called me Saz since we were kids.’ Sarah said smiling at her brother.

      ‘Ah, you’ll always be Saz to me.’ He said affectionately.

      Sarah sighed and continued. ‘But Mam and Dad thought I was crazy didn’t they? They had me committed. They still look at me like I’m a raving lunatic even now. Like I’m going to have a One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest episode any minute. I always feel that Mam would use any excuse to get her hands on the kids. She has something negative to say every single time she comes into this house.’

      Sarah looked around her living room. It was lived in but pretty tidy, considering she had three children. ‘I don’t know how she does it, but she always seems to arrive on the one day that the house is messy and I’ve no food in! If she thought I was having one of my ‘episodes’ again as she called them, that would be it, she’d be onto Child Protection and looking for custody!’

      ‘That would be over my dead body, Sarah. You’re a fantastic mother and even Mam and Dad would have to agree to that. Forget about the folks for now, they are not important. Sure, how often do they visit, once or twice a year? Get back to Edward.’ James reassured her quickly.

      She took a large gulp of her wine; the alcohol helped to relax her.

      ‘When the kids went to bed last night I was tidying up the sitting room. I was putting their toys away in the toy box and I had that feeling again. I looked up, but this time somebody was there, standing in the corner of the room. Over there.’ Sarah pointed to the area.

      James looked, half expecting to see Edward there right now. ‘It was him.’ Sarah said. ‘The craziest thing though, he hasn’t changed in the slightest. Three decades later, I’m unrecognisable, but him, he’s the same.’

      ‘You must have gotten such a fright. What did he say?’ James replied.

      ‘Nothing at all, at least he said nothing last night. He just smiled at me. It was the most beautiful smile and I got lost in it for a few minutes. I’d forgotten how his smile could make me feel like I was a child again. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again, he was gone. It all happened so quickly, I actually thought I’d imagined the whole thing.’

      This time it was James who took a large gulp of wine. They sat in silence. Each in their own thoughts.

      ‘You said he didn’t say anything last night; can I assume he’s been back again?’ James eventually asked.

      ‘Yep, he was here this morning, after the kids went to school. Ella was having her nap. And when I came downstairs from her room, he was sitting at the kitchen table.’

      ‘Cosy.’ James said wryly. ‘What does he want, why come back after all this time?’

      ‘Exactly what I thought. Why now? I mean life couldn’t be more hectic for me; I haven’t time to wash my hair some days, never mind deal with all this. These days I’m running around so much I swear one day I’ll meet myself coming backwards!’

      They both smiled at that. Gathering herself, Sarah continued. ‘At first he just sat there. I joined him and he smiled at me again. It was very peaceful, very quiet just sitting there together. I felt like in that moment we were both reconnecting, catching up with each other, without the need for words. Oh, it’s hard to explain.’ Sarah ended with a sigh.

      James reached over and grabbed his sister’s hand. As hard as it was for Sarah to explain, it was very hard for him to take in too. Somehow it had been easier to understand Sarah and Edward when he was a child.

      ‘Eventually he spoke and he simply said “It’s time.”’ Sarah said.

      ‘It’s time for what?’ James spluttered.

      ‘He said that he knew that seeing him again after all this time was a shock. He knew I’d need to adjust to having him around again, but I need to believe in myself and acknowledge my gift. And after I acknowledged it I need to start using it!’

      Sarah glanced at James. He looked a bit shell-shocked. He was the one person who had always believed in her, but she knew he was struggling to take all this in right now. Taking a deep breath she continued. ‘He just kept saying over and over that I’ve been ignoring this gift for far too long and now the time has come for me to step forward and start helping others.’

      ‘What gift is he talking about?’

      ‘Oh you haven’t heard the best bit. It gets better.’ Sarah said with a sigh. ‘He told me that there was a young girl who needed my help. That she’d been murdered … And that I could help bring her murderer to justice.’ Sarah shivered at just the thought.

      ‘For feck’s sake Sarah.’ James replied.

      ‘Pretty much my reaction too.’ Sarah replied. ‘I’m no Sherlock Holmes; I’m a shop assistant for heaven’s sake! If anyone around here is going to solve a murder that would be you.’

      ‘Thankfully not many murders around here for me or anyone else to solve,’ James replied. As a private investigator, with his own business, he did a lot of freelance work for insurance agencies, sifting out the fraudsters looking for big claims. Not to mention the considerable amount of clients who booked him to investigate their spouses and see if they were having an affair. All pretty mundane stuff.

      ‘Well I hope Edward has gotten it wrong.’ Sarah said. ‘The thought of me even being slightly involved in a murder makes me feel sick.’

      James topped her glass up with some more wine as he couldn’t think of anything useful to say.

      ‘Apparently I’m to go see a woman who lives in Arklow and have a chat with her. He told me to write down her name and address.’ She continued, as she showed the piece of paper to James where she had written her name down.

      ‘Mary Donegan. 5 Riverside Apartments, Arklow.’ James read. ‘Why do you have to go there? Some random woman you have to go knock on the door to, will she be expecting us? Is she even real?’

      ‘I know it sounds crazy, doesn’t it?’ Sarah answered. ‘But I’ve looked her up online. She lives there alright. She exists.’

      Her head was banging with a growing headache that felt like it was about to explode. Over the years she had thought about Edward and the impact he had on her life when she was a child. Life was so hectic with the kids, she just didn’t have time to worry about something that had happened nearly thirty years ago and, as far as she knew, would never happen again.

      She glanced at James who was frowning. She’d had a few hours to digest the news that Edward was back; James had just had a few minutes. Plus, to be fair to her brother, James had never actually met Edward; he only ever had her word that he even existed. The fact that he always believed her left her in grateful awe. Sarah knew that it was extremely difficult for most people to understand and believe in something that they couldn’t see or touch. That was why she had kept Edward’s existence a secret for so long, not even sharing with Paul. Would he have believed her? Her instinct was no. He would have reacted the same way as her parents. СКАЧАТЬ