Ordinary Girl, Society Groom. Natasha Oakley

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СКАЧАТЬ thumped through her head with the rhythm of a heartbeat.

      ‘I understand from my mother that you’re acquainted with my stepfather.’

      Eloise tightened her grip on her glass. She could feel perspiration beading on her forehead, her hands become clammy. Her mouth moved soundlessly.

      He knew.

      It was a sensation akin to jumping off a cliff, the wind roaring in her ears as she sped towards a fate she had no control over.

      ‘Viscount Pulborough?’ he prompted, as the silence stretched out between them. ‘My mother’s second husband.’

      ‘We…we’ve never met.’

      His right eyebrow moved in an exaggerated expression of surprise. His eyes travelled the length of her body, assessing and critical.

      It was years and years of training that made it possible for a man to deliver such a non-verbal put down. Generations of believing you were somehow superior to every other member of the human race.

      She really hated that he could make her feel so small and so worthless. If anyone should have been cowering with shame, it should have been him. It was his mother’s husband who had abandoned a teenage girl carrying his baby.

      ‘Really? I must have misunderstood what she told me.’

      ‘My mum knew him. Years ago. I wrote to Viscount Pulborough to tell him she’d died.’ Eloise carefully put her glass down on the side table and picked up her evening bag. ‘He hasn’t replied.’

      Three weeks and there’d been no reply. Nothing. She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t expected her father to welcome her with open arms—but nothing. No response at all. It seemed incredible. And with each passing day she felt more resentful.

      How could anyone do that? How could he have created a life and care so little about it?

      From the time she’d been old enough to ask questions about who her father was, her mother had said he was a good man. A man who couldn’t be with them, however much he wanted to be.

      His identity had always been a secret. But some part of Eloise had clung to the knowledge that he was a ‘good man’. He would have wanted her in his life…if only it had been possible. He would have loved her. Loved her mother. He was a ‘good man’.

      Childish nonsense. He was a man who’d had too much of everything. A man who clearly rated people as worthy of notice or not worthy. A man who’d left a young girl to deal with the consequences of their affair alone and unsupported. A man who’d completely deleted the knowledge that he’d fathered a baby girl.

      Her.

      ‘He’s been unwell.’

      ‘Unwell?’ Her eyes flicked up to his. She would swear his voice had become more menacing, beneath the suave veneer.

      ‘But perhaps you know that already? He’s been in hospital,’ Jem continued smoothly.

      ‘No. No…I didn’t…I didn’t know.’

      Why would she have known that? She felt somehow that he blamed her. But for what?

      ‘He’s undergone heart surgery. A quadruple bypass.’

      ‘Oh.’ Eloise didn’t know what to say. Considering Viscount Pulborough was a man she didn’t know, had never met, it was strange to feel such an overwhelming reaction to the news of his operation.

      ‘But at seventy-three it’s taken its toll.’

      She knew a moment of panic. He couldn’t die. Not now. If he did she would never have the chance to speak to him. Would never know why he’d abandoned them.

      ‘Could he die?’ she asked, taking an involuntary step forward.

      Jem held his ground. ‘He had a stem cell bleed four years ago which made the procedure more risky than usual, but he came through the operation with only a small scare.’

      ‘Scare?’

      ‘His blood pressure shot up as he was coming round from the anaesthetic and they had to bring him round more slowly than they’d hoped. But he’s making excellent progress now.’

      ‘Th-that’s good.’

      ‘Yes, it is. The entire family has rallied round to support him.’

      Eloise looked away, embarrassed. ‘Of course. I’m sure…I…’ She closed her eyes for a moment.

      ‘Part of that is keeping him free of stress and making sure nothing’s allowed to upset him.’

      His words pooled in the silence. There was no possible way she could misconstrue what he was saying. From somewhere deep within her Eloise pulled out a quiet, ‘I see.’ And then, because she couldn’t help it, ‘You’re protecting him from me. He hasn’t seen my letter. Has he?’

      ‘No.’

      No. No apology, just an unequivocal ‘no’. All these days, waiting for an answer that hadn’t come. All the worry and nervous energy. The sick fear. The feeling of utter rejection. The anger.

      And Viscount Pulborough didn’t even know she’d written to him.

      His precious ‘new’ family, his ‘real’ family, had closed ranks round him, lest he should be upset. Upset! It didn’t occur to them to think how she might be feeling.

      Of course it didn’t. And if it had, they wouldn’t have cared. She was beneath notice. An irritation. Someone born the wrong side of the blanket who was refusing to stay there.

      And then there was a new thought. Someone had read her letter. A feeling of coldness spread through her body. That someone had opened her letter. Read it. Dissected and discussed it.

      It had been private. So difficult to write. She’d not imagined anyone reading the contents but her father.

      She took a deep breath and met his eyes. ‘Did you read it?’

      ‘No.’

      ‘Then who?’

      ‘Does it matter?’

      ‘They had no right to do it. It was a private letter. Personal. It doesn’t concern anyone except…’ She hesitated, uncertain how to refer to him. My father. She couldn’t say that. The word ‘father’ stuck in her throat. ‘Viscount Pulborough and myself. Not you, not anyone else.’

      ‘Not even the Viscount’s wife?’

      Eloise met his critical gaze. ‘No.’

      She watched him check the retort he’d been about to make. A muscle pulsed at the side of his face. ‘Why now?’ he asked softly.

      ‘Pardon?’

      Jem smiled politely, his eyes flinty blue. ‘I was wondering why now. Why make your claims now? Why not last year? Why this СКАЧАТЬ