Secrets and Seductions. Pamela Toth

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СКАЧАТЬ can give you a form to fill out.”

      Suddenly breathless with anticipation, Emma pressed her palm to her heart. “I guess I didn’t really take the time to make myself clear,” she said. “It’s not just the medical information that I’m after, it’s everything.”

      His expression shifted, his frown lines deepening, and he seemed to lean away from her in his chair. “What exactly do you mean by everything?”

      Emma balled her hands together in her lap. She wasn’t going to give up now. “I need to know the names of my biological parents so I can find out if they’re still alive.” Her voice rose. “I might have siblings out there, family I never knew existed.”

      Contacting them would be a huge first step in taking back control of her life.

      He had already started to shake his head before she finished speaking. “I’m sorry, but what you’re asking is impossible. This agency can’t help you.”

      Emma’s mouth fell open as she stared at him, stunned into momentary silence.

      “What do you mean?” she finally croaked as his refusal sank into her consciousness. “You just admitted that you have their names.”

      He spread his hands, palms up, in a helpless gesture. “That’s true,” he agreed, “but your file is confidential.”

      “Okay, I understand.” Quickly Emma unzipped her purse. “I’ve got picture ID.”

      Before she could open her wallet, he surprised her again, this time by resting his hand lightly on hers. His touch was warm, but something about his gesture made her shiver as an icy chill slid down her spine.

      “I’m so sorry,” he said again as he let her go. “It’s not just your confidentiality that our agency is sworn to protect.”

      His gaze held hers. “This was not an open adoption, so the only thing I’m allowed to share with you is your medical history.”

      Emma stared at him blankly. “But they’re my parents. They’d want me to know who they are!”

      Intellectually she knew that wasn’t always true, but her emotions wouldn’t let her believe it could apply to her. She wasn’t going to be stonewalled! Panic shot through her. If she lunged across his desk and grabbed the folder, would she be able to read its contents before he got it away from her?

      “Emma,” he said quietly, startling her with his use of her first name, “I’ve read your entire file very carefully. There were no provisions made to give you contact information if you were ever to ask. Quite the contrary, there is a statement insisting on absolute privacy. I’m sorry.”

      She wasn’t willing to give up, but she could tell by the set of his jaw that threats or pressure wouldn’t change his mind. He appeared to be giving her time to absorb her disappointment.

      “I see,” she said, trying to sound reasonable.

      “Are you all right?” he asked. “Would you like some water?”

      “Yes, please.” Think, she commanded herself while he went over to a sideboard and poured a glass for her. Frantically trying to come up with something to change his mind, she stared with fascination at the large blown-glass vase sitting proudly on a side table.

      Talk about ugly!

      When he came back and handed her the water, she took an obligatory sip before setting it down. “Thank you.”

      He was watching her closely, as though he expected her to do something crazy. Was there a secret alarm that he’d activated, calling for security? Somehow she doubted it. With his height and athletic build, he appeared more than capable of handling whatever she could dish out.

      “Is there anything else I can do?” he asked when the silence began to lengthen between them.

      Anything else?

      “Surely there’s another channel I can explore,” she said. “Some person I can talk to, an appeal process, something, in order to find out what I need?”

      “I’m sorry. I’m afraid the buck stops with me.”

      Suddenly she had an idea. “You can contact them for me. They have a right to know that I’m looking for them, so they can give you permission to show me my file.”

      She was babbling, but she didn’t care. “I’ll swear on the Bible that I won’t bother them if they don’t want me to,” she promised. “But society has changed a lot in the last twenty-seven years. Maybe they meant to revoke the ‘no contact’ order, but they forgot all about it. You could ask them.”

      “That’s not possible.” He looked genuinely regretful. “I’m sorry.”

      “Then what am I supposed to do?” she demanded, her frustration bubbling over.

      “I know it sounds trite, but you have to accept the things you can’t change,” he said, spreading his hands wide. “I wish I could offer something more, but I can’t.”

      “Accept?” Her voice rose like a hot-air balloon. “You want me to accept what I can’t change?” She leaped to her feet, barely noticing that her purse had dropped to the floor, and leaned over Morgan Davis to look right into his killer blue eyes.

      They widened slightly.

      “Let me tell you what I’ve had to accept lately.” She stuck her hand under his nose, fingers spread, and began ticking off items.

      “I couldn’t change my miscarriages or the divorce that followed.” She tapped two fingers. “How about the layoff from my job as a school counselor? How was I supposed to change that?” There went another finger. “Unfortunately, none of the other districts around here are hiring, either, and I have bills to pay.”

      She hesitated, then decided that deserved a finger, too. “Maybe my creditors will have to accept not getting any money from me until I find another job, huh?”

      He opened his mouth, but she cut him off ruthlessly. “If all that wasn’t enough, I found out that I’m not even who I thought I was.”

      She waggled her splayed hand at him. “How can you tell me that not knowing my parents’ names is just one more thing I have to accept?”

      For just an instant he looked genuinely horrified before he quickly masked his expression. When he got to his feet, he was a head taller than Emma, who was forced to retreat.

      “I wish there was something I could do,” he said with apparently limitless patience.

      “But you’re the director,” she cried. “I know you could make an exception if you really wanted to.”

      “No, I can’t.”

      Stubborn ox! She had failed at so many things lately, being a wife, a mother, a successful counselor. How could she go away from here empty-handed?

      Normally she hated whiners, but she was running out of options. “No one else would have to find out,” she wheedled softly. “I’d never let on where I got the information, СКАЧАТЬ