Название: The Forest Ranger's Husband
Автор: Leigh Bale
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Короткие любовные романы
Серия: Mills & Boon Love Inspired
isbn: 9781408968291
isbn:
He tilted his head, his gaze holding hers. “Just talk. There’s a lot I need to say, and I want to clear the air between us.”
She snorted. “I doubt the air can be cleared with a little chat.”
He took a deep breath, his face hardening. “I wanted to congratulate you on your recent promotion. I know being a forest ranger was what you always wanted.”
“Yes.” Okay, not too gracious, but the best she could muster at the moment. At one time, she had also wanted him and a family, but that hadn’t turned out too well.
She didn’t like discussing her career with him. Not after all the planning they’d done together during college and the first three years of their marriage. She didn’t know this man anymore. He was a complete stranger.
She took a deep breath and let it go. “I just got an email today from the forest supervisor saying you were named the new fire control officer. I can’t say I’m surprised you’re here in my office, although I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
He glanced at the nameplate sitting on the corner of her desk. “I don’t think Cal knew we were married when he made the selections for our new jobs. Looks like you’re going by your maiden name.”
Cal Hinkle, the forest supervisor. If he’d known the connection between Matt and Andie, he undoubtedly would never have brought the two of them in to work together on the same forest. But Andie had started going by her maiden name a year after Matt left, and she rarely talked about her missing husband.
Matt paused, his eyes drilling into hers. “We are still married, aren’t we?”
She tensed, wishing she believed in divorce. But she didn’t. She tried to tell herself that was the only reason she’d never filed, but deep inside her broken heart, she’d always wished he’d return. Now she couldn’t help regretting that longing. It’d bring her nothing but more heartache. “As far as I know.”
“Good. I never wanted a divorce.”
Oh, boy! He’d just opened the corral gate with that remark. “You have a funny way of showing it, Matt.”
He took a deep breath. “I know I messed things up between us, but I never wanted to lose you, Andie. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but loving you wasn’t one of them.”
No, no, no! Why did he have to say something like that? It felt like a knife to her heart. Mainly because she didn’t believe him. And she wanted to. She really did. But it was too late. “Then why’d you leave?”
“You know why. At the time, nothing was more important than becoming a hotshot crew boss. When I got the job on the Red Mesa IHC, I couldn’t turn it down. After we had that horrible fight, and you told me to leave, I figured taking the job was the best thing.”
Yeah, which put her in her place. His words meant nothing to her now. When he’d left, his actions had spoken loud and clear. He’d chosen his career over their marriage. Over her.
One of her biggest regrets in life had been when he’d stood on their doorstep with his duffel bag slung over his shoulder. Instead of slamming the door in his face, she should have begged him to stay, or gone with him.
But she hadn’t.
She rested an elbow against the armrest of her chair, trying not to show her hurt. Trying to still the trembling of her chin. “You could have discussed it more with me before leaving. Imagine my surprise when I arrived home that night and found a note from my husband telling me he’d taken a job out of state and would talk to me later. That was over five years ago.”
Her voice rose to a shrill pitch. No matter how hard she tried to control her emotions, all the anger broiled around within her, the wound still raw. As if it had just happened yesterday. She didn’t know if she’d ever recover from such a harsh slap to her face. If he’d left her for another woman, she might have understood. She could have moved on. But his career had become his mistress, and his life didn’t include room for his wife.
“I wish I could go back in time and change things,” he said.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I think we both said things that day that we shouldn’t have, but it doesn’t change things now.”
“I’m sorry, Andie. For everything. I really am.”
Her breath escaped her in a whoosh. Finally the apology she’d longed to hear for years. But it was too late. It’d been too long. He’d chosen his work over their marriage. She couldn’t forget that. Could never trust him again. The love she’d kept buried deep within had been trampled to pieces, and she refused to be his doormat ever again.
She had to think about Davie now.
The burn of tears caused her to look away, and she shrugged. “We married too young. You weren’t ready for the commitment. Now it doesn’t matter. You have your job to do and I have mine. We’ll keep our relationship completely professional. Nothing more.”
She didn’t love him anymore. She didn’t. He’d killed her feelings for him, but she didn’t know how she was ever going to work with him every day and pull it off.
He frowned, his eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t discern. Disappointment maybe? Surely not. He’d left her, after all. He’d gotten what he wanted.
One question pounded her brain. Why had he left the job he loved? Why had he taken this job as an FCO? Sitting in an office every day. Providing fire support to the various district rangers serving on the Minden National Forest instead of working out on the front lines where the action was. It didn’t sound like him. At the age of thirty-two, he was still young and strong enough to run with the best hotshots the nation had to offer. Did it have something to do with his limp?
Hmm. She sensed something wrong here. Something she didn’t understand. Maybe she should make a call to find out.
No! She didn’t care. His life was his business now. She wasn’t part of it anymore.
He leaned forward, his eyes filled with some emotion she didn’t understand. “I was hoping maybe you and I could have dinner tonight. I’d like to talk about our—”
The door burst open without warning. “Mommy! Look what Auntie Sue got me.”
Davie ran inside wearing a red cape tied over his winter coat and carrying a Rocketman toy figurine. With the accuracy of a stealth bomber, he headed straight for Andie. His rubber boots tracked muddy water across the floor.
“Davie! Remember we talked about knocking before you barge through a closed door?” Even Andie’s stern voice didn’t stop the boy. He raced around her desk and flung his arms around her. She couldn’t resist hugging him back.
Great timing. This situation just kept getting worse. The last person Andie wanted in her office right now was her five-year-old son.
“Davie, I said wait.” Susan panted as she chased after her nephew, carrying her seven-month-old baby in her arms. She came up short when she saw Matt sitting in the office, and her mouth sagged open in shock.
“Sorry! I forgot the rule,” Davie said. He held the toy before Andie’s eyes, begging for her attention.
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