Unlearn. Humble the Poet
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Название: Unlearn
Автор: Humble the Poet
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Здоровье
isbn: 9780008359638
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Loving someone can sometimes feel like you’re pouring everything into a bottomless pit.
You would give anything just to hear a splash at the end, just to feel they’re aware of your efforts and energy because right now, nothing feels good enough.
Maybe you can try harder, maybe you’re not doing enough, maybe you’re not good enough, or maybe, just maybe:
YOU’RE LOVING THE WRONG PERSON.
Love is something you share because you have it, not something you give desperately because you need it. The person at the top of your love list should be (drumroll … the suspense is killing me …) YOU.
If someone isn’t appreciating the love you send their way, then there needs to come a point when you wake up, get up, and walk away—not to make them miss you, but so you can recapture your dignity and self-worth.
I’ve said it numerous times, and I’m going to say it again: if you don’t love yourself, you have no business seeking love from others. Other people will exploit your need for love and affection for their own benefit; don’t hold that against them, just stay away from them.
If these words are hitting home, don’t pity yourself—love yourself and put yourself in the situation you deserve to be in.
Your priorities are not revealed in your words, they are revealed in your actions, and your actions are revealed by your schedule.
You can say something (or someone) is important to you, but if it isn’t penciled in, you’re lying to yourself.
Tomorrow is not a promise—not even kind of. If fear is holding you back from doing what you want (or need) to be doing in your life, just realize that fear isn’t going anywhere, and everyone who has done something amazing has done it despite the fear, not in its absence.
Until science can do otherwise, we’re all ending our story with death. It’s really up to you how you use the days leading up to your eventual demise. The thought of death scares some, and makes others feel liberated. I like to remember, as long as there’s breath in my lungs I can create any life I wish to create (it won’t be easy, but nothing worthwhile is), and once the breath is gone, it doesn’t matter anyways.
Life is too short to be in any situation you don’t want to be in, and it feels even shorter when you’re with people you don’t want to be around. There aren’t any erasers to undo our past, but there are fresh pages to write a new chapter. I have great friends who mustered up the courage and strength to escape their comfort zones and place themselves in situations they would much rather be in. It took time and it was a struggle, but they came out as better people with better lives. You can do the same thing. It won’t be easy, but so what? Is there really a point to building a life if it isn’t the life you want?
I strongly encourage you to take risks; you’re worth it. The fear isn’t going to go away, so respect that relationship and work with it, around it, and despite it.
Let your actions do the talking from now on, and if something is important to you, let it show in your day-to-day movements.
We all see this world in terms of ourselves. We all have interests and needs that need to be met first. This isn’t selfish. Selfish is when you don’t allow others to do their own thing and expect them to conform to what you want. You don’t want people restricting how you get to live your life, so don’t do it to others.
Focusing on yourself is really one of the least selfish things you can do. It puts you in a position to be empathetic to other people who are also trying to focus on themselves. You can develop an “Imma do me, you do you” mindset, which can create an environment that lets people grow on their own terms (scary idea for control freaks).
Instead of trying to find that right person for you, focus on becoming that right person yourself. The people you appreciate will generally be the people who appreciate you so be around them and work on being the type of person you want around.
Putting yourself first is an act of survival as well. We can all easily drain ourselves trying to accommodate the whims of others. We can spend our entire life trying to make other people happy, and realize we have no life left for ourselves.
It’s not romantic to think about how really self-indulgent we all are, but that doesn’t take away from that fact. If you understand that people work according to their interests, it’s even easier to work with them and get along. Everyone wants to know what’s in it for them; respect this ideal and everyone will benefit from the interactions.
Selfish isn’t pursuing what you want in life, it’s when you’re not also helping others in theirs. We all have things and people we’re enthusiastic about—help them, and find joy in doing so. I’m a product of all your support and I appreciate you all for it. I’m not in a position to help everyone, nor am I motivated to do so, so I focus on those I can and want to help. Social obligations and being around people you don’t want to be around are just a waste of life.
It’s OK to let people know that you’re not excited to be around them; if anything, that’ll keep you from having to be around them for much longer.
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