A Daughter’s Sorrow. Cathy Sharp

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СКАЧАТЬ It was going to be hard enough without Lainie’s money, and if Jamie didn’t bring anything in either Mam would create, but I was glad I’d told him he ought to move on. Being out of work so often was making him bitter and I wanted the old, carefree Jamie back – even if it meant that I had to bear the brunt of Ma’s temper.

      Mr Dawson didn’t dismiss me that day. Instead, he gave me a rise of two shillings and sixpence. It was more than he’d promised and I thought he wanted to make up for being sharp with me earlier.

      I decided not to give this first rise to Mam and I bought some eggs at the shop on the way home and a tiny corner of butter for Tommy. I hesitated over some raspberry drops, then bought a small twist for him as a treat.

      ‘Put these in your pocket and don’t let Mam find them,’ I told him as I gave him the sweets. ‘It’s our secret.’

      ‘If she finds them I’ll tell her I won them off a lad at school.’

      Mam was in a bad temper when she came in from gossiping with Maggie Ryan. She looked at the eggs I’d cooked for our tea and then glared at me.

      ‘I suppose I know where they came from!’ she muttered and banged the pots on the stove. ‘You just watch yourself with that Fred Pearce, my girl. He’s up to no good – giving you things …’

      ‘It’s only a few eggs, Mam. I gave Tommy two because he’s growing, but I saved one for you. Shall I boil it or fry it for you?’

      ‘Neither. I’ll put it in the pudding for Mr Phillips’ dinner.’ Her gaze narrowed menacingly as she looked me over. ‘If I find out you’ve been up to something …’

      ‘I wouldn’t, Mam. You know I wouldn’t do anything to shame you.’

      ‘You’ll rue the day you were born if I catch you hanging about with men.’ She cuffed my ear in passing as I rose to gather the tea things. ‘Did you speak to Mr Dawson about putting you on the ales?’

      ‘No, Mam …’ I ducked as she came at me again. ‘Don’t hit me! Mr Dawson is going to give me a rise next week – and Mrs Dawson is going to teach me to be a secretary.’

      ‘You watch your language, my girl!’ She stared at me suspiciously. ‘What’s that supposed to mean then? I know his sort, all hands. If you’re lettin’ him do things to you …’

      ‘No, Mam! It means I’m going to keep the accounts and learn to use one of those typing machines. Mrs Dawson says I’ll earn a lot more once I’ve learned than I will on the ales.’

      ‘How much more?’

      ‘Perhaps as much as fifteen shillings a week when I’m trained.’

      Her mouth twisted in disbelief. ‘She’s having you on, Bridget. They’ll never pay you that! Unless he’s interfering with you? Bloody men, they never know when to keep their hands to themselves.’

      ‘Of course he isn’t doing anything – Mr Dawson isn’t like that, you know he isn’t. And I wouldn’t let him if he tried. I shan’t get that sort of money for a long time, but the more I learn the more they will pay me. Please don’t make me leave, Mam. I like it there and Mr Dawson said he wouldn’t put me on the ales yet anyway. I should have to go scrubbin’ and then there would be no chance of anything better.’

      ‘We’ll be needing more money with that whore of a sister of yours leaving us in the lurch, and Jamie bringing home next to nothing.’

      ‘Jamie hasn’t been able to find regular work. It isn’t his fault … the bosses won’t give him a proper job.’

      ‘And whose fault is that? He’s a troublemaker like Sam. Always fighting! It was the worst day of my life when I met Sam O’Rourke. I had a good place in service until he …’ She broke off and scowled. ‘If you’re lying to me about the money I’ll make you sorry.’

      ‘You’ll see, Mam. I’ll bring you extra money next week.’

      ‘See you do,’ she muttered, clipping my ear again. ‘That’s nothing to what you’ll get if I catch you out, miss. Now you can go up the Feathers and get me a jar of whisky.’ She took half a crown from the shelf and slapped it down on the table in front of me. ‘Come straight back and don’t lose the change.’

      I was resentful as I made my way towards the pub at the end of the lane. It was still early in the evening and there were plenty of people about. Mr Ryan from next door was on his way home from work.

      Tilly Cullen waved as she scurried home to get her husband’s tea. She was the laziest woman in the street, spending most of her time gossiping with her friend. Maggie Ryan had told me that Tilly’s house was a tip most of the time.

      ‘I don’t know how she gets away with it,’ Maggie had said. ‘My Mick would take his belt to me if I let things go the way she does.’

      When I came out of the Feathers, I glanced round uneasily, half fearing that Harry Wright might be hanging around waiting to grab me again, but there was no sign of him. I breathed a sigh of relief and did my best to put the incident out of my mind; it wasn’t likely that I would see Harry for a while. He couldn’t be sure that I hadn’t told Jamie, and he would be aware of my brother’s reputation.

      Even so, I walked home quickly. Ernie Cole and a group of other young men and women were walking up the lane towards me, obviously heading for the pub and a night out. Ernie waved to me but I ignored him as always, hurrying inside the house.

      Mam snatched the whisky jar from me as soon as I went into the kitchen. I gave her the change, which she counted before putting it on the mantelpiece.

      ‘Haven’t you got anything better to do with yourself, Bridget O’Rourke? It’s time you fetched Tommy to bed, and then you can do the ironing. Out of my way, girl! I’ve got to see to Mr Phillips’ dinner.’

      I turned away, feeling the resentment bite deep. What did Mam do with herself all day? She washed the clothes and sheets twice a week because of the lodger, but I did most of the other work.

      For a few minutes rebellion flared inside me. The future seemed bleak despite the promise of a better job, and I wished I could just walk out the way Lainie had.

      Thinking about my sister cheered me up a little. Maybe I could find a way to take Tommy to visit her that weekend. I still had a few pennies left in my pocket. Maisie would sell me a nice bunch of flowers for that.

      I called Tommy in from the yard, where he had been playing with Billy Ryan and some of the other lads. He was the reason I stayed here. As long as I had him to take care of, I would put up with Mam and her temper.

       Three

      ‘Harry Wright did what to you?’ Lainie stared at me in horror. ‘Did he hurt you, Bridget? He didn’t manage to … well, you know …?’

      ‘Careful,’ I warned, ‘I don’t want Tommy to hear. If he were to tell Jamie – you know what would happen. I don’t want Jamie in more trouble.’ I glanced at Tommy, who was playing with a cat in Bridie Macpherson’s back yard and eating an apple.

      ‘He СКАЧАТЬ