Christmas for the Halfpenny Orphans. Cathy Sharp

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СКАЧАТЬ was almost certain she knew the handwriting.

      For a moment she considered putting it straight in the bin without opening it, but something wouldn’t let her. Though she knew she ought not to read it, she couldn’t resist slitting it open and taking out the contents.

       I got a mate to deliver this, Alice love. He said he knew where you were living and I daren’t bring it myself. I can’t come to your home, but I want to see you. I should never have left you. I think of you and my kid all the time, and now I’ve got things sorted we can go to America. My ship leaves in three weeks and I want us to be on it together. Please meet me, Alice. It’s too dangerous for me to come to you, but if you take the train to Southend, I’ll meet you by the pier. Come next Saturday and I’ll be there every hour from twelve until nine at night. I’ve put in £2 for your fare, and the key to a locker at Euston Station. I need you to fetch a parcel for me, Alice love. No one will notice you and it’s important … do that for me, Alice, and you’ll never regret it, I promise.

       I still love you, Alice. I’ve never stopped thinking about you, but I had to keep moving around. People were looking for me, and I couldn’t let you know where I was until now.

      So he was alive! Alice sat down on the nearest chair, feeling sick and shaken. Her hands trembled as she was caught by a surge of disbelief mixed with elation. He was alive, despite what everyone had told her. She felt overwhelming excitement followed almost as swiftly by despair, for it was too late. Tears stung her eyes and trickled silently down her cheeks, as she realised that she still cared for him.

      She’d never quite given up on Jack Shaw, even when everyone said he was dead, but now she felt as if the breath had been knocked out of her. Alice looked at the two one-pound notes Jack had sent, staring at them as if they would burn her. She held the small key with a numbered tab in her hand and frowned. What was it that Jack wanted her to fetch? It must be important to him or he wouldn’t have asked. As glad as she was to learn that he hadn’t died in the fire, she knew she couldn’t trust him. He’d probably put some of the stuff he’d stolen in that locker and Alice wanted nothing to do with his ill-gotten gains.

      Had this letter arrived only a few months ago she’d have gone to Jack without a second thought, even though she knew he couldn’t be trusted. Part of her longed to go to him even now, in spite of the way he’d abandoned her and their daughter to fend for themselves, but she couldn’t. She was married to Bob now, and she wouldn’t hurt him, not after all he’d done for her. He was a good, decent man and she was fond of him.

      But fond wasn’t the kind of all-consuming love she’d felt for Jack. A bitter sense of loss filled her and she knew that, despite everything, she still loved Jack; he was still there inside her head and her heart, even though he’d let her down. She’d tried to forget him but all it took was this letter to start up that aching need inside – but she couldn’t go to him, she couldn’t leave Bob.

      She shoved the money and key in her apron pocket, feeling the tears sting her eyes and the angry hurt well up inside her as the shock started to wear off. If he came knocking on her door she would give him back his money and that key. It was the only thing to do – the decent thing.

      Alice wouldn’t be on that train on Saturday. She was going to keep her promise to help out with the teas at Angela’s charity sale. She wouldn’t meet Jack in Southend, she wouldn’t see him ever again – but a part of her wanted to. A part of her wanted to take her child and run to the man she loved. Regret surged, and she wished that she’d never agreed to marry. If only she’d turned down Bob’s proposal and stayed with Nan, then she would be free – but for what? What sort of a life was Jack offering her?

      Hearing her baby cry, Alice went into the kitchen and picked her up, looking down at her with love. Her heart felt as if it were being torn in two as she held Susie to her breast and rocked her. She was Jack’s child, but did he have the right to know her after the way he’d deserted them?

      Besides, it was too dangerous. The Lee gang were still watching her; every so often someone would follow her when she went out with the baby, and only this morning she’d noticed a man staring at her in the market. Thus far, no one had approached her and she’d hoped that after a while they would realise it was a waste of time and give up.

      No, it was stupid even to think of Jack. If he’d truly wanted her, loved her, he would have kept his promise to send for her a long time ago. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she suspected that the only reason he’d got in touch was because he needed her to fetch whatever was in that locker.

      Bitterness swept through her as she remembered the way Jack had broken his promises in the past. He was no good, just as her father had warned at the start.

       EIGHT

      ‘That seemed to go well,’ Wendy said, surveying the empty stalls after the sale of second-hand clothes and bits and pieces had finished. ‘I don’t know how you manage to find so many nice things to sell, Angela. I bought a good leather bag for myself.’

      ‘I have to thank my father for a lot of it.’ Angela turned to him with a smile. He was waiting patiently to take her home so that she could change for the evening. ‘Dad asked our neighbours if they had anything for me to sell on behalf of St Saviour’s and they overwhelmed him with stuff. He sent it up in three large boxes on the train.’

      ‘Nan told me you’ve raised almost a hundred pounds from the Bring and Buy evenings you’ve been holding at your home, and hers.’

      ‘It seems women like exchanging the clothes they don’t want for something different, so we’ve done well, but once rationing is over and there’s new stuff in the shops people won’t want second-hand so much.’

      ‘A lot of women won’t ever be able to afford anything else.’ Wendy laughed softly. ‘Some of these clothes are better than anything I could afford to buy new. Besides, whatever happens in future, you’ll think of something. Everyone says you’ve done wonders since you’ve been here. The children have all sorts of treats these days, and it’s all down to you.’

      ‘It’s a team effort—’ Angela stopped abruptly as she noticed the man standing near the hall doorway. ‘I didn’t know he was here.’

      Wendy followed her gaze. ‘Who is he?’

      ‘His name’s Arnold.’ Angela’s father frowned. ‘He arrived at the same time as I did. You were too busy to notice, Angela.’

      ‘I met him at a charity meeting the other night. I can’t think what he’s doing here though.’ Angela tried not to let the others see her annoyance. ‘Come on, Dad, let’s go. I want to get changed before we go out this evening. Wendy will finish up here for me, won’t you?’

      ‘You know I will, Angela,’ the staff nurse said, smiling. ‘Have a lovely time with your father.’

      ‘Angela …’ Henry Arnold touched her arm as she was about to pass him. ‘I was hoping we might have a word?’

      ‘Please telephone me, Mr Arnold,’ she said. ‘This is my father – Mr Hendry. We have an appointment and must leave now.’

      ‘I really do need to talk to you, Angela.’

      ‘Another time,’ Angela said. ‘Please excuse us, we have to go.’

      She СКАЧАТЬ