Letters To Alice. Rosie James

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      But before tucking it away, she lifted the letter to her lips and kissed it softly.

       December

      As she remained quietly kneeling on the floor by her side of the bed. Alice wondered what on earth her mother found to say to God each night. Alice’s own prayers took hardly any time at all – in fact she often repeated them all again in case her mother thought she wasn’t taking the matter seriously enough.

      The procedure followed an identical pattern. First, Alice recited the Lord’s Prayer, followed by an urgent request that all her sins would be forgiven. After that, she asked for a blessing on her mother, and that her father was happy in heaven – well he must surely be settled up there by now – though probably not enjoying the devil’s medicine. Next, with a rush of compassion, the names of all the children in Hotwells would be mouthed silently, and, through gritted teeth, a quick prayer for Lizzie’s health, and a much warmer thought for Betty, the best cook ever, thank you God. And then Alice would ask that Professor Carmichael and his wife and children would all have long life and happiness.

      But at the very end would be Samuel, whose name she would repeat several times in case God wasn’t listening properly. That He would look after Sam, and that Sam would always be her friend. Her very best friend.

      Presently, at last, Ada rose from her knees and Alice immediately followed suit. Together, they turned back the counterpane and got into bed, Ada sighing briefly. The girls had been difficult today, and she was tired.

      It was the beginning of December, and Ada and Alice had been truly part of the Carmichael’s house for more than six months. To Alice, it seemed that she’d never lived anywhere else, that this really was home.

      ‘I hope you won’t catch the girls’ colds,’ Ada said. ‘They’ve been so crotchety today – quarrelling non-stop.’

      Alice stared up at the white ceiling for a few moments, her eyes tracing the ornate mouldings and cornices. ‘This is a huge room, isn’t it,’ she said. ‘Are all the other bedrooms in the house as big as ours?’

      ‘They’re even bigger on the first floor where the family sleeps,’ Ada replied. ‘I’m glad I don’t have to clean them.’

      There was silence for a while as Alice thought about that. Then – ‘Mama – can I ask you something very private?’

      ‘Of course,’ Ada said.

      ‘What do you find to say to God? I mean, your prayers take you such a long time,’ Alice said slowly.

      Her mother smiled in the darkness. ‘Oh well, I have so much to thank Him for, don’t I? I give thanks for kind employers, and a very nice home to live in. And I ask that everyone in the country will soon be able to find work, and that the government will take good care of all the injured men from the War. And that my daughter will be a good girl!’ She reached across to the bedside table. ‘Now then, it’s your turn to read tonight, isn’t it,’ she said, handing Alice their copy of Persuasion.

      Alice opened it eagerly, removing the bookmark. From the very beginning of the novel she’d thought of herself as Anne Elliot, and because she already knew the story Alice longed for the end when all difficulties would be resolved and she and the handsome Captain Wentworth would finally be together.

      Before beginning to read, she said -‘I wonder why, in books, it always takes such a long time to reach the happy ending? There are always so many problems to sort out before everyone gets what they want,’ she went on. ‘It seems such hard work for them all to be truly happy.’

      ‘I suppose because that’s what real life is all about,’ Ada said.

      Alice looked thoughtful for a moment. ‘Did you and Papa have a lot of problems,’ she enquired, ‘before you eventually got married? And then…did you really know that he was the one you wanted?’

      Ada didn’t answer straightaway as she thought of her own life. Of her parents, both dead before reaching middle age, of her two brothers killed at the Front, then of meeting Stanley Watts. Older than herself, and so good-looking in his naval uniform, so roguish and full of fun. She was a part-time cleaner at a public house near the Docks where the regulars frequently gathered when in port, and he’d picked her out straightaway. Stanley was a charmer, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and he’d lost no time in making himself known to Ada. And she’d been flattered and thrilled. Had so readily fallen in love. Within three months they were married quietly, and although he was so often absent Ada had thought herself lucky. Her husband was generous and kind and treated her well, never once raising a hand to her. Her worst nightmare had been the War, the dread of hearing that his ship had gone down. But defying all the odds, Stanley had come back safely each time.

      And then, and then…he had thrown away all his good fortune. The devil had had the last laugh. What a waste. What a dreadful waste.

      ‘The difference,’ she said now to Alice, ‘is that in books you usually do get a happy ending – even if it takes a long time to happen – because that is what readers want. What they expect. But…it’s different in real life. You can never count on anything. You have to take what comes your way. And survive it.’

      Alice pursed her lips. ‘One day, I am going to write a book, Mama, a proper book,’ she said. ‘Not just my short stories, but a long book, with all sorts of things happening to everyone…and I will give it a really happy ending! I’ll give them all exactly what they want and it’ll end with a great big party!’ She turned her head to look at her mother. ‘Do you think I could do it, Mama…would it take a very long time to write?’

      ‘It probably would take a long time,’ Ada said, ‘but I’m sure you’d be more than capable, Alice. One day, when you’re older. Because you’ve always loved writing, and all your short stories are like little novels in themselves, aren’t they…and they’re very good. They all have a beginning and a middle and an ending – and I always love reading them – and not just because you’re my daughter.’

      Alice hugged her arms around her knees, already imagining her first best-seller in the shops. ‘I would like my book to be bound in red,’ she said, ‘with the title and my name in gold lettering.’

      ‘I’m sure that could be arranged,’ Ada said.

      ‘Yes, but how am I going to get started?’ Alice said, beginning to get worried now that her plan looked possible. She hadn’t even thought of a plot for this tome yet!

      Ada smiled briefly. Her little daughter had never suffered from the childhood malaise of boredom because there’d always been her exercise books and pencils to keep her occupied. Almost as soon as she’d been able to write, Alice had made up poems and stories. Had so easily seemed to occupy the lives of the characters she invented in a way which had sometimes surprised her mother.

      ‘Well, I’ll tell you what we could do,’ Ada said. ‘Why don’t you choose one of the short stories you’ve already written – or make up another one – and we’ll send it off to a publisher. How does that sound?’

      Alice’s eyes widened. ‘What – you mean a real publisher? Someone who would print it and put it in the shops? Oh Mama!’

      ‘Now, don’t get carried away, Alice,’ Ada said, smiling. ‘I’ve noticed that there is a small publishing house near the centre of town, and all we would ask them СКАЧАТЬ