Forever a Lord. Delilah Marvelle

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СКАЧАТЬ wretched, wretched woman. It was the first time Henry had ever dared speak of divorce. Which meant he was well beyond miserable. To even whisper of divorce in London society was to speak of ruin, not only for him but her. Knowing that made Imogene want to invest in said quarter of a million just so he could live the way he deserved. In peace.

      Imogene paused. A quarter of a million pounds? For a mere boxing title? Bumblebees on high. That would be like meeting God. No, no. That would be like being God. It was an obscene amount of money.

      She blinked. “How much would it cost to invest in a boxer?”

      He eyed her. “About four to five thousand, not including any and all training costs. Why?”

      Her heart pounded. Her inheritance from her grandmama, which was set to be released from the estate in the next week now that she was finally of age, was ten thousand. “I have ten thousand that will soon be mine. I want you to invest it for me.”

      “Invest? In what?”

      “In finding us a boxer so we can turn our ten thousand into two hundred and fifty thousand. Will you do it?”

      A startled laugh escaped him. “Gene, I wasn’t by any means insinuating we—”

      “Why not?” She grabbed his arm and whispered, “We could split the profit and neither of us would be dependent on anyone ever again. As you yourself just said, with money like that, your divorce would be but a puff of passing smoke we could avoid by leaving town. After everything you have endured, Henry, and most of it on my behalf, let me do this one thing for you. Please.”

      His amusement faded. “You aren’t serious, are you?”

      She set her lips and face to show him just how serious she really was. She was tired of them struggling for their dignity. It was time to invest in said dignity. “Find us the best boxer there is and I will cover the investment up to a full ten thousand.”

      Glancing toward the stairwell to ensure they were alone, Henry hoarsely whispered, “For God’s sake. Aside from the throat slitting my divorce would create, your first Season is set to commence this upcoming April. I cannot and will not gamble with your future by placing myself before your good name. That money is also meant for you and whatever husband you take. You know that.”

      She swallowed and shook her head. “I have already professed how I feel about taking a husband. I would only be a burden to him. And I don’t want to burden anyone anymore. Look at what my illness has done to your life. I have stripped you down to nothing. I have turned you into nothing.”

      “Gene.” He leaned in close and seized her hands, squeezing them hard. “You need to cease blaming yourself. You are not a burden. By God, you are the only joy I have left.”

      She said nothing.

      Henry searched her face. “Surely you don’t want to live the life of a spinster. You have so much to give in both mind and soul. You will deny yourself children, happiness and a home of your own because of my stupidity? You can’t. I won’t let you. What is more, everyone in our circle is expecting you to debut.”

      She shrugged away his hands, knowing he didn’t understand. “I will debut, for that is what you want of me, but based upon my health, I am not about to submit. It would be nothing but a hardship for whatever man takes me. I would rather we speculate. Think of what all that money could do for us. We would never be dependent on anyone ever again.”

      He shook his head. “No, Gene. After having lost everything in a venture I should have never invested in, I know better than to embark upon this. We simply have to accept that neither of us will ever rise above what we have. It is what it is.”

      Tears pricked her eyes and what felt like her soul. “There has to be more to life than me choking on medicine and you choking on a bad decision. We can’t—” Her throat tightened beyond its ability to let her breathe. She jumped toward him and grabbed his hands, causing his top hat to roll to the floor.

      Feeling a stutter coming on, she fiercely clamped her teeth together, wishing she had been born with a different life. She wanted so desperately to convey everything within her, but knew it would only tumble forth broken and stupid and worthless.

      So instead, she shook his hands and kept shaking and shaking them within her own, letting him know that if they didn’t try to change their lives it was never going to change. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t right!

      “Gene!” Firmly prying his hands from hers, Henry nudged her chin up hard, forcing her to look at him. “Do you need me to send a missive to Dr. Filbert?”

      She winced and shook her head, knowing it would only cost them money for the call. Trying desperately to calm herself, she squeezed her eyes shut and focused on what always helped. Envisioning a field. Swallows dipping low. The sun rising, causing hues of pink to smear the sky. And the soft wind caressing her face, sending strands of hair floating.

      Shades of her panic lulled and the strain on her throat faded. She opened her eyes and drew in a shaky breath, letting it out in renewed calm. She could breathe. Though, oddly, her limbs felt like they were floating and the room was swaying.

      Henry’s features tightened in concern. “I will send a missive to Dr. Filbert at once.”

      She shook her head.

      “He can help you. And he has. You know that.”

      “No,” she choked out, forcing her words to obey. Fortunately, the stutter had passed. “I…I have my medicine. I…I’m fine.”

      “He is genuinely concerned for the state of your health and mind, Gene. As am I. It isn’t normal what you keep doing. It isn’t normal to keep playing the role of a goddamn mute when you get riled or panic. Are you telling me it is?”

      She plastered her hands against her ears, not wanting to listen to him anymore. She hated when he reminded her of what she was. She knew what she was.

      Henry flinched. Tugging her close, he smoothed her bundled hair with a comforting hand. “I’m sorry. You know all I ever do is worry. Ever since the incident, you…you’ve never been the same.”

      She lowered her hands and nodded against him, fingering his embroidered waistcoat that pressed into her cheek. Sometimes, she wished she had enough money to buy everything. Including the happiness her brother deserved. And maybe, if there was any money left over, she could buy a new life for herself. One where she was in control of everything and one word from her and it was done. “Let me do this,” she pleaded against him. “For you and for me. Please. We won’t know until we try.”

      He drew away, rubbing her shoulders, and slowly released her. Raking both hands through his hair, he let them drop and eyed her. “And what if we lose it all? What then?”

      She inwardly cringed. “Then our lives remain the same. We remain under the jurisdiction of your wife. And…Banbury.” It was cruel, but the man needed a little push.

      Henry shifted from boot to boot, his features tightening. Glancing intently toward the stairwell, he met her gaze again. “If we do this, you can’t breathe a word of it to anyone. Especially Mary. Aside from the investment itself, divorce is a messy and barbarous business. Do you understand?”

      Her heart skipped, knowing that both of their lives were about to change with СКАЧАТЬ