Regency High Society Vol 6: The Enigmatic Rake / The Lord And The Mystery Lady / The Wagering Widow / An Unconventional Widow. Anne O'Brien

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ that she gave it any serious consideration. No one would divide them, whoever it might be who had first dropped the poisonous words into the willing ear of the Polite World. And her family would support her. She felt a warmth spread around her heart as she watched them: Thea, using all her lively charm and diplomatic experience of foreign receptions, Judith calling on her wide acquaintance. The gentlemen relaxed and talked horses and sport when they could escape their wives’ eagle eye. Whatever the outcome of this night, Sarah knew that she had made the right decision.

      No one could question or intimidate the united Faringdons. With a little crow of success, Sarah wished that Eleanor and Henry were present to appreciate the outcome of her plotting.

      * * *

      They returned home, exhausted from the constant strain to remain cheerful, but Sarah was content. She had done all that she could. Not least to show her husband, who had tried to distance himself from her because he could not speak the truth, that she would not accept his decision. She would stand at his side whether he wished it or not.

      The trial of the evening at the Exhibition left Lord Joshua Faringdon feeling utterly wretched. He had gone along with it because he could think of no good reason not to. Sarah’s determination, her refusal to discuss it, had carried him along, a leaf in the current of a millstream. And now he was swamped with shame. His gentle Sarah had walked into the lion’s den for him. Such faith, such strength. She had stood by him in glory and splendour to face the gossips. His intention had been to step back from her, to allow her to believe the scandal if she wished, to hate him if she wished. To build a barrier between her and the deceit that was his to bear. To replace any suffering she might feel with contempt, because he simply did not deserve her sympathy. He could not use her innocence and her loyalty in his own interests. But Sarah, with astonishing strength of will, had torn his plan to rags, by standing beside him before the interested eyes of the Polite World.

      How had it all become so complicated?

      The simplicity of it was that he could not remain apart from her. He did not wish to remain apart. He felt the meanest worm in the face of such loyalty. He must put some of it right with her—she deserved no less.

      So Joshua knocked on her door and waited for a reply. Sarah had gone straight to her bedchamber without any attempt at conversation, which was signal enough that he would have to be willing to make amends.

      She answered, he entered. She was sitting at her dressing table.

      ‘I thought you would go on to one of your clubs with Nicholas.’ She did not look at him, but kept her hands busy.

      Took off her jewels and replaced them in their case. Began to take the pins from her hair.

      ‘No.’

      ‘I think we made a point tonight.’ She continued to place the pins in a cut-glass bowl. ‘I think that Eleanor would have been proud of me.’

      ‘Sarah—’

      ‘There is no need to say anything. I know that you cannot. But we have done what we can.’

      She stood to move across the room to find a home in a little bow-fronted cabinet for her gloves and fan. But now he strode forward to take her wrist in a light clasp and pull her to a halt. Yet still she did not turn toward him. Nevertheless he would say what he had to say and try to bridge the yawning chasm.

      ‘You do not realise the debt I owe you tonight, Sarah. I think no man could ask more of his wife than that she stand at his side when any remaining honour attached to his name is destroyed. Yet you did exactly that. With such grace and dignity as I have never seen. I don’t know whether you believe me or trust me, but you made so public a gesture in my support…’ With firmer pressure, he turned her toward him. ‘I need to ask your forgiveness. I treated you abominably.’

      ‘I know you did. I suppose you had your reasons, even if I can neither understand nor accept them.’ She would not make it easy for him. Her eyes were accusing. ‘It would help if you told me the truth, but we have been through all that, have we not?’

      ‘Sarah… ‘ Never had he seen such a chill in her eyes, so stern a line to her lips. And it hurt to know that he deserved it, and far more.

      ‘I know. You cannot. Let us leave it at that.’ She made to pull away, but he dare not allow it. He took her hands in his so that he could face her squarely.

      ‘Then let me say this. I admire you, Sarah. My respect for you is beyond measure. Never more so than this night. Your bravery, your strength, your willingness to put yourself on the line for me. I tried to push you away. To keep the scandal from hurting you more. I find that I cannot do that.’

      Sarah waited. Admired, respected, he had said.

      Loved? Ah, no.

      ‘I need you tonight, Sarah.’ He hesitated, so unusual in this dynamic man. ‘I will not force my presence on you if it is distasteful. And in God’s name it must be. I would ask for your tolerance, Sarah, until I can put matters right between us.’

      ‘Will it ever be possible?’

      ‘Yes. I promise you.’

      She watched, waited, thought of the weight of his words. Read the sincerity in his eyes, which gleamed true silver tonight. Sincerity, yes, but also a terrible uncertainty, which smote at her senses. A vulnerability that had shaken him to the core. It shocked her to see the rare emotion race across his face with vivid intensity. Her heart stuttered. However foolish, however naïve it might be, she trusted him. And would trust him whatever the world might say against him. She allowed her lips to soften, her cold face to warm into a smile. And allowed her woman’s heart to dictate her response. She could not refuse him if he had a need of her.

      She opened her arms at her sides, almost a gesture of submission. Or was it invitation. For if she trusted him to have committed no evil act, she must surely trust him with the safekeeping of her body and her clamouring emotions. It was time that she had the courage to respond to his love making, to claim her own needs. It was more than time. She forced herself to continue to hold his gaze

      ‘Then come.’ Her voice was soft, full of feminine allure. ‘If you want me tonight I will not deny you, but it is necessary for you to play the role of lady’s maid. You would not imagine the intricacy of buttons and ribbons.’ Then he caught the gleam in her eye and was able to breathe more easily. ‘But perhaps you are intimately acquainted with them. If so, it will on this occasion be to my advantage.’

      Sarah’s deliberate humour sliced through the wall of tension between them so that he could step forward with a soft laugh and apply himself to the task. He was, she was forced to admit as she watched his bent head, remarkably skilled. Tiny buttons, delicate ribbons, they posed no problem for his clever fingers. Gown, petticoats, shoes, stockings, all quickly dealt with to give her no room for embarrassment, to be disposed carefully over the daybed. Until she stood in her chemise. He made to blow out the candles, as he thought she would wish, but Sarah had made her decision and now she stretched out a hand.

      ‘No. Leave one burning.’

      ‘Are you sure? If you are more comfortable without… ‘

      Nerves touched her skin with delicate tremors. ‘No. Leave it. That is what I want tonight.’

      So. A new Sarah, he realised. One who had thrown down the gauntlet in public and exerted her will this night. And one, it would appear, intent on continuing СКАЧАТЬ