Getting Married Again. Melinda Curtis

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СКАЧАТЬ sent temperatures soaring above one hundred degrees.

      Besides, she needed something to keep her mind off the ticking clock and her mounting bills. When she’d drawn up the divorce settlement, Lexie had been too proud to ask for much money. She’d had a steady paycheck and had thought she could make her own way. That was before she’d had to give up her job at the Painted Pony.

      Lexie unfurled herself from behind Mary’s desk and rubbed her back as she headed into the Pony’s kitchen. Not for the first time since the divorce, Lexie wondered if she’d done the right thing. It wasn’t just the money. There was Heidi to consider. Was it fair for Lexie to raise their daughter alone?

      Lexie snorted. As if she hadn’t been raising Heidi alone her entire life. Jackson was never home. He was either in another state fighting fires, out somewhere training, or off with his never-ending list of friends. She’d always love Jackson, but their marriage was past the point of salvation. She’d been his housekeeper, his cook and his mistress, but somewhere down the line they’d stopped being friends, stopped being lovers, stopped talking about anything other than his schedule and how he wasn’t going to be around. Finally, Lexie told him not to bother coming home.

      Absently, Lexie rubbed her stomach, fighting the slightest twinge of guilt. A year ago, Lexie had discovered she was pregnant. At first, she’d thought the doctors had made a huge mistake; they had told her long ago that she couldn’t get pregnant again. But a miracle had happened—and she had begun to believe that this was the sign she’d been looking for. Her love with Jackson was worth saving.

      She’d asked him to meet her for lunch in Boise in a swank little café on the outskirts of the city. Jackson had told her he’d be there after he was done helping a neighbor clear away brush from their house. Lexie had waited an hour before she started to cry.

      And then the bleeding started.

      Lexie had driven herself to the hospital—alone. Checked herself in—alone. Held herself together throughout the miscarriage when she couldn’t reach Jackson. Then she’d driven herself back to Silver Bend. During the trip home, Lexie had come to realize that she was no longer important to Jackson. This wasn’t the first time Jackson had stood her up, or Heidi, for that matter. How could anyone treat those closest to him—his wife and daughter—so callously? If this wasn’t a sign that their love was unsalvageable, Lexie didn’t know what was.

      When Jackson showed up after having missed dinner, with some excuse about a friend’s car not starting, Lexie made her decision. She asked him to move out that night without ever telling him of the child they’d lost.

      Lexie sighed, pushing back the guilt. She needed to focus on her current problems, not her past. She’d make it somehow. Just a few more months and things were bound to get better.

      The Hot Shot crew in the dining room of the Pony roared with laughter, the raucous sound carrying over the noisy fans in the kitchen. Lexie glanced up from the steaming bowl full of scrambled eggs she’d left on the counter for Mary and Heidi to carry into the dining room minutes before. Something was going on out there. The Silver Bend Hot Shots were such a boisterous, upbeat group that their mood was infectious. Lexie needed some of those positive vibes right now.

      She carried the bowl of eggs over to the kitchen window where she could look out on to the dining room. A bearded man with hair touching his shoulders stood with his arms looped around Heidi and Mary, their backs to Lexie. He wasn’t dressed in Hot Shot gear, but the way he stood reminded her of someone. Lexie stretched to put the big, heavy bowl of scrambled eggs up on the shoulder-high countertop, feeling its weight all the way down in her belly. And then he laughed.

      It can’t be.

      The heavy crock slipped out of her fingers onto the countertop with a sickening crack, splitting the bowl in two and cascading eggs across the counter and onto the floor. Everyone’s head swiveled in her direction, including that of the bearded stranger. Only he wasn’t a stranger. He was the man who still held the key to her heart.

      Light-headed, Lexie gripped the counter, grateful that it stood between her and Jackson so that he couldn’t see all of her, couldn’t see that she carried his child.

      A child she hadn’t told him about. The child they’d created the night Jackson signed the divorce papers.

      Their eyes met and held, making it hard for her to breathe. Having been a firefighter’s wife for so long, she couldn’t resist taking inventory, making sure he was all right. His tall frame was still sturdy. Blue jeans covered his powerful thighs, and his broad shoulders filled a forest-green T-shirt. His sable hair fell uncharacteristically below his ears and brushed his T-shirt collar in the back. A thick, dark beard covered his square jaw, making him look less like the young man she’d married and more like a weary man of the world.

      Jackson was safe. She couldn’t think beyond that fact. Firefighters who came home early from assignments weren’t always unscathed. Broken bones. Singed body parts. Eyes so red from bitter smoke that they couldn’t see. But Jackson stood solidly in front of her. Unharmed.

      The desire to touch him overwhelmed her. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, feel the strength of his chest beneath her palms, reassure herself that he was, indeed, home in one piece.

      “Are you all right?” Mary darted into the kitchen, gave Lexie the once-over, and then started cleaning up, effectively distracting Lexie from the spell Jackson had put her under.

      He may look oh-so-right, but he wasn’t able to love them as a father and husband should. Yet, she couldn’t resist looking at him again.

      Jackson’s smile was tentative, his green eyes guarded. It was the first time in a long time that she’d seen him unsure of himself. Oh, he had his weak moments, but Lexie also knew that Jackson hid behind his charm. Few knew he didn’t have the hidden reserves of confidence he’d prefer everyone believed. He certainly had never been anything but upbeat and positive with Lexie through their entire divorce.

      “How’re you doing, Lex?” His voice coasted over her like warm honey from across the room.

      Lexie licked suddenly dry lips. She should have told him months ago about this baby. He’d know how she was “doing” the minute she stepped out from behind the counter.

      The baby thumped against her ribs, trying to capture her father’s attention from deep within the womb.

      Heidi hugged Jackson, her joy in seeing her father apparent in her radiant smile. “He’s home, Mom, for good. Just like before. Isn’t it great?”

      Jackson’s smile broadened. The Hot Shots at the table were nudging each other and grinning as if this was the best show in town. She supposed it ranked right up there with the time old Marguerite slurped one too many strawberry daiquiris, shimmied into the lap of a highly embarrassed and uninterested Sirus Socrath, the former superintendent of Silver Bend’s Hot Shot crew, and sang “Like a Virgin.”

      “Your father is back from Russia, but I’m sure he’s off to fight fires somewhere,” Lexie said, hastening to correct the impression that Jackson was home to stay. It was the height of the fire season and there were several forest fires rampant across the western states. She pasted a smile on her face and looked at Jackson hopefully.

      Jackson tugged Heidi’s ponytail, grin firmly in place. “Nope. I’ve taken two weeks off.”

      “In the middle of the fire season?” Lexie’s voice cracked on the last word. Any hope she had of keeping her pregnancy a secret from СКАЧАТЬ