It's In The Stars. Buffy Andrews

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      “So I’ll snip here and snip there and layer it a little and you should be good to go.”

      “What about a blue chunk on the side?”

      “Blue? I was thinking pink.”

      “Pink is good.”

      “Yeah, let’s do pink. It will pop against your black hair. You’re sure, right?”

      “Absolutely. My horoscope told me to try something different.”

      Stephen cracked his neck. “You actually believe in that crap?”

      I shrugged. “Nothing else has worked so why not give it a try? Maybe if I follow it I’ll find a guy.”

      Stephen threw a gray drape over me and snapped it at the back of my neck. “Sorry, I can’t help you in that department. But give it time. It’ll happen.”

      “I just turned twenty-six, Stephen. That’s TWO SIX! I’m more than a quarter century old. Another twenty-five and I’ll be fifty and my life will be half over. I’m ready to find Mr. Right, or at least a few Maybes. And following ‘normal’ dating procedures hasn’t worked.”

      Stephen cleared his throat. “By normal dating procedures you mean hanging out at area bars?”

      “Yeah. And staking out the gym, which hasn’t proven advantageous either. Nor has the library or the bookstore or the coffee shop where all the nerdy but nice guys set up office for the day in booths that have receptacles underneath. So yeah, it’s me and Horoscope, baby. Can’t do any worse than I’m doing now.”

      Stephen worked his magic, snipping and layering so quickly his hands were a blur.

      “So how’s David?”

      “We broke up.”

      “You broke up? But I thought he was your forever.”

      “Me, too. But he dumped me for a guy fifteen years younger.”

      “Oh, Stephen. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

      “Not many people do. It happened about two weeks ago. I came home and he had moved out.”

      “Shit!”

      “Yeah. I’m swearing off men for a while.”

      “Geez, we make a good pair.”

      Stephen laughed. “It’s just too bad we both prefer men.”

      By the time Stephen was finished, I felt like a new woman. And the pink chunk on the side was the perfect choice.

      “Stephen, you’re a genius. Thanks!”

      He removed the drape. “At least I make my clients happy.”

      I stood. “David’s dumb.”

      “And I’m dumber for falling for him.”

      I patted Stephen’s back and handed him a tip. “Don’t worry. Mr. Right will come along.”

      “Thanks,” Stephen said. “Yours will, too.”

      I had some errands to run before going home and getting ready to go out with the girls. By the time I got to Joe’s, Victoria, Frankie and Jada were cozying up at the bar. Jada saw me first. “Love. The. Hair.”

      Victoria and Frankie turned around and I was greeted by a chorus of oohs and aahs.

      “Love the pink!” Frankie said. “Bold and sexy.”

      “Who wants a buttery nipple?” Victoria asked a little too loudly. Two guys a few stools yelled they did.

      I’ve never had one, but I know Horoscope told me to try something different today so I was game. The bartender lined up four shot glasses and mixed some butterscotch schnapps and Irish cream.

      Victoria, Frankie, Jada and I raised our shot glasses. “To new beginnings!” Victoria said.

      We all downed the shot and I licked my lips. It tasted like a butterscotch candy. Definitely too sweet to do more than one.

      “Who would name a drink Buttery Nipple?” Frankie asked. “I wonder what was going through the person’s mind.”

      “Maybe it was named to attract men,” Victoria said. “Imagine walking up to a guy. How would you like to taste a Buttery Nipple?”

      We laughed.

      “There’s a shitload of drinks with dirty names,” Jada said. “Some are really vulgar. Like Creamy Pussy. Imagine ordering that for your love interest.”

      “That’s really a drink?” I asked.

      Jada nodded. “It’s Baileys Irish cream and strawberry cream liqueur. It’s actually not bad if you can get by the creamy pussy part.”

      I shook my head. I’ve gotten quite an education, sex and otherwise, since moving here. It took me a while to get used to our frank discussions, but I’ve come to appreciate that not all friends share what we do. We’re open and honest and feel comfortable sharing intimate details. Even though I grew up in a bigger city than Victoria, Frankie and Jada, they know so much more than I do when it comes to sex. I had limited experience in that department and a lot of what I learned, I learned from Sex Week at school.

      The university I attended held the event every year. I thought my mom and dad would flip when they heard about the student-led event. But I actually learned some cool stuff, like how to pick sex toys that don’t harm the environment.

      My bestie Jen and I bought a pack of condoms one time and practiced putting them on bananas. We’d compete to see who could get the packet open and on the banana the fastest. I always won.

      Because of Jen and our condom-banana bouts, I was ahead of most girls in Latexology, which covered when to use condoms and how to put them on. My favorite program was I Love Female Orgasm presented by two sex educators.

      Victoria took a sip of her beer. “Don’t look now, but that guy at the end of the bar in the white button-down shirt is hot. And I mean hot.”

      “Is he alone?” I asked.

      Victoria licked her lips. “Seems to be. Wonder if he’d like company?”

      “There’s only one way to find out,” Jada said.

      We watched as Victoria walked over and slid into the bar stool next to him.

      “How much you want to bet we don’t see her the rest of the night?” Jada said.

      Frankie pulled out her cellphone to check her messages. “I thought she was with Steve.”

      “Only when she’s horny and doesn’t have anyone,” I said.

      Frankie shook her head. “So it’s one СКАЧАТЬ