Crazy Love. Candace Gold

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СКАЧАТЬ that if she remained living with her family too long, she’d start to see little pieces of her brain break off. Her biggest fear was what to do if more than one piece was lost at a time. Which piece should she chase? Living with her family could have been a sitcom for TV. Or a horror flick. She wasn’t certain which.

      * * * *

      The following day, as Abby was walking toward the cash register, Francie called out to her. “You have a phone call. Do you want to take it up front or in the back?”

      “Who is it?”

      “Your mother.”

      “Transfer the call to the back. I have water back there.”

      She knew Francie understood exactly what she meant. Though she had a large bottle of Excedrin in the front, the pills always went down easier with water.

      Abby slowly made her way to the storeroom, dreading every step she took. “Hello, Mom–”

      “Abby!” Mrs. Minton’s excited voice nearly blew out her eardrum even though she was holding the receiver at least a foot away.

      “What’s wrong?” she asked, opening her desk drawer and taking out the Excedrin she kept in the back.

      “Wrong? What should be wrong? Why are you asking? Is something wrong at the store? Are you sick–”

      “Mom! Stop! You called me, remember?”

      “Oh, yeah. I did, didn’t I?”

      “What are you calling about?”

      “I have a wonderful surprise for you.”

      Abby clenched her teeth. “I don’t like surprises, Mom.”

      “This one you will. I promise.”

      Abby considered hanging up now. Whatever she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. However, she knew it was fruitless. It would only delay the inevitable. Breathing in deeply and knowing she was going to regret asking, she meekly said, “What kind of surprise?”

      “You remember Mrs. Blackman?”

      Abby searched her memory of her mother’s wacky acquaintances. Mrs. Blackman was the woman who had moved into the Olivers’s old place. She wore colorful housedresses that looked like she bought them off the rack at Omar the Tentmaker’s. Abby thought she might also be a relative of Bozo the Clown because of all the makeup she wore. In fact, she once saw Mrs. Blackman when the woman had a terrible cold and definitely had seen a resemblance.

      “What about her?”

      “Her son, Arnold, just came on the market again.”

      “Did somebody return him?”

      “His divorce is now official.”

      “And that’s important for me to know because…”

      “You have a date with him on Saturday.”

      Abby opened the Excedrin and popped two pills into her mouth. She chased them down with a large gulp of water.

      “Abby, dear, are you still there?”

      Despite the fact she wished she was on a deserted island. “Yes.”

      “Isn’t that nice?”

      “No, it is not and I am emphatically not going on a date with Mrs. Blackman’s son–whatever his name is.”

      “Arnold.”

      “Arnold? His name is Arnold? Now I’m definitely not going. You know I don’t date men who have the name Arnold.”

      “Since when?”

      “Now. And while we’re on the subject, cross off Stuart and Fred, as well. Please call and tell Mrs. Blackman ‘no sale.’”

      “No.”

      “Okay, then, just give me the number. I’ll do it myself. Better still, do you have Arnold’s number?”

      “No. You’re going to like him. He’s a real catch.”

      “Charlie the Tuna’s a catch. Besides, if he’s such a great catch, why was he tossed back?”

      “He’s very handsome.”

      “Mom, all blind dates are handsome until you meet them. I hate going on blind dates.”

      “Abby, if you continue to be this negative, you’re never going to get married.”

      “And marriage is important because…”

      “I want to have grandchildren before I die.”

      “Mom? Are you crying?”

      Her mother blew her nose and nearly burst Abby’s eardrum in the process. Abby sighed. She hated when her mother acted this way. She sighed again and knew she’d regret what she intended to do.

      “Okay, Mom, I’ll go. But, this is the very last time I will ever go on a blind date. Promise me that you will never try to set me up on another one. And you better not be crossing your fingers.”

      “That’s my girl! I knew you’d do it!”

      “Mom. Mom, calm down.”

      “Yes, Abby?”

      “I need you to make that promise.”

      “Promise? What promise is that, dear?”

      “Promise me that you will never make another blind date for me again.”

      “Okay. Okay. I promise. Now write this down. Arnold will be picking you up at eight. Wear something nice.”

      Abby rolled her eyes. “Goodbye, Mom.”

      She let the phone drop into the cradle. Her head was now throbbing.

       Chapter 3

      Abby stared at the dresses and suits hanging in her closet. All she had to do was pick one of them and put it on. That is, if she were like most women. Which she was not. Abby was totally traumatized when it came to dressing for blind dates. It was mostly the not knowing part, such as what the guy actually looked like or where they were going for the date, that freaked her out.

      As she pondered whether she should wear her blue suit or black dress, a wicked thought crept into her mind. With Arnold being such a catch, what if she wore a yellow slicker, matching hip boots and a floppy hat like the Gorton fisherman on the frozen fish sticks box? Too bad she didn’t have the get-up. The hat would have been kinda cute. Even choosing the right pair of shoes was a problem. For instance, being five feet, ten inches, putting on any size heel would make her a giant next to a guy who was five feet, eight inches. To avoid embarrassment, flats would be a safe choice. However, with clothing, СКАЧАТЬ