Crazy in Love. Crystal B. Bright

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СКАЧАТЬ can do it. You’re a pro. Always have been. Always will be.”

      No hug. Not even a pat on her back.

      Right now, Shauna didn’t feel like a professional. She wanted to rip off her designer gown, take off the skyscraper heels that hurt her toes and probably cost as much as the house she grew up in, throw on a well-worn T-shirt, crawl in bed, and not come out for years.

      Craig swiftly moved behind her and pushed her to the door. Like he had to, he guided her through the long hallway, up several flights of stairs, and to the backstage area. Shauna knew the path, although the place now appeared blurry all the sudden.

      She couldn’t get her eyes to focus, and her head remained cloudy. She had been that way ever since she placed her hand on her mother’s coffin before they lowered it into the ground only a few hours ago.

      A young man in a dark suit approached her. He looked familiar. Maybe he worked at the funeral home. Even with his blond hair and blue eyes, he looked sinister, like he had an agenda. The dark lighting in the backstage area might have had something to do with it.

      “Good evening, Ms. Stellar.” He stood in front of her. “I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Laz Kyson. I work at your label. We, at Universe, want to thank you for your bravery. You’re going to put on a great show.” It looked like he had to choke out the last part of his statement before he plastered a fake smile on his face and nodded.

      Shauna didn’t acknowledge him. She swiftly moved around him to get into her position. Someone placed an earpiece in her ear and covered it with her long, flowing chestnut colored hair that had pieces of fake hair mixed in it. Craig placed a white microphone in her hands and had to wrap her fingers around it for her to hold it. Her dancers ran by her to go to their marks on the stage.

      “We didn’t pray.” She whispered the words about a forgotten ritual she used to do with her dancers and everyone that worked on her tour.

      The same woman who had gotten her from her dressing room approached her again. “Your spot is there.” She pointed to the center of the stage. “I understand why you couldn’t do a run through earlier today.” She patted Shauna’s hand. “Sorry about your mom.”

      The sentiments crushed Shauna’s heart. She covered her mouth, afraid of the tears she felt coming.

      Craig pushed the woman away. “I told you not to mention that in front of her.” He signaled for the makeup artist to touch up Shauna’s face again.

      Shauna didn’t need to be dolled up. Before her cue, she walked out on stage while her dancers performed their routine. She noticed their surprised looks as she came out before her choreographed moment.

      A wave of screams and applause hit her as she stumbled to the center. The strength of the clamorous crowd kept her upright for a moment, but she knew it wouldn’t last. She couldn’t see faces as she looked out into the sea of people.

      The music around her sounded foreign, not like she had sung over it before, but she knew she had, a million times for millions of people. Nothing seemed real.

      She kept looking out into the crowd until she could focus on some faces in the front row. Shauna walked toward the front of the stage. It occurred to her that she must have missed her mark in the song when the music stopped.

      Shauna found her dancers and her band standing still and staring at her. She needed an ally. Someone who would understand her.

      She crouched down to make eye contact with a young man who screamed and cried.

      “I love you, Shauna Stellar!” He reached for her but the barrier wall and the group of buff security guards held him back.

      “I don’t know what love is.” She spoke in the microphone out of habit. “Why do you love me?”

      The screams in the arena quieted down a little. Then the flashes started. Everyone with a camera-phone snapped her picture, but no one asked her how she felt.

      Shauna reached her hand out to touch someone, anyone. “My body feels like jelly. I can’t feel anything. Today wasn’t a good day. And I didn’t pray before I came out here, and I always do that. Good girls pray. They’re thankful for everything they have because it could be taken away.” Tears streamed down her face. “Do you know what I did?” She scanned the immediate crowd. “Of course you do. You all know every move I make.”

      The fans looked around them as she spoke directly to them. They looked as confused as she felt.

      “Gone. I’ll never see her again. And you all want to hear me sing.” Her breathing increased. “When people take from you, they don’t know what it does to you.” She shook her head. She ran her fingers through her hair and came across a clip hidden under her tresses and close to her scalp. Without thinking, she undid it and removed some of her fake hair and tossed it to the ground. “I’m nothing. I don’t like myself. I hate what I’ve done.” Tears streamed down her face.

      From the depths of her soul, like she had been holding on to the pain for her full twenty-five years, Shauna screamed so loud and so long that her throat became scratchy and ached.

      She heard footsteps. When she turned, she spotted Craig running toward her. “Sorry I let you down.” She dropped the microphone, closed her eyes, and let gravity do its work, rolling off the stage and heading to the concrete floor below.

      The darkness soothed her.

      * * * *

      Truman Woodley stared at his phone at a picture of himself with his son, Gage, as he waited to hit the stage with his band. Even as he sat in a trailer that he and his four friends had to share with a magician and an amateur yodeler, he knew he could be a success for his boy. He couldn’t give up.

      He checked the time. Nine at night went way beyond his five-year-old son’s bedtime. Plus he didn’t need to get into an argument with his ex-girlfriend if he called. She would ask him about money he didn’t have. At least after two years, she stopped asking if they could be a couple again. That ship had long sailed away.

      “Some of us can’t keep doing this.” Charlie leaned against the inside wall of the trailer, and it felt like the whole thing shifted under the big man’s weight. The wall creaked and cracked as soon as he touched it. He must have felt the movement. He straightened up before he continued. “I promised my wife that I would play bass for the Sliders for a year. We’re six months in and I don’t see that pot at the end of the rainbow. I have five kids.”

      “We know.” Sully propped his feet up on a counter as he cradled his guitar.

      “I know you know.” Charlie scanned the group. “You all know what we have going on outside of this group.” He glared at Truman. “If something doesn’t happen soon, I don’t know if I can keep going with this. At some point, I need to get a real job with real benefits to take care of my family, who I love with all my heart. Being out here in Virginia is killing me.” He snickered. “What country band thinks their career is going to be made in Virginia? We need to go back home to Tennessee.”

      Truman returned his phone to his pocket, and then glanced at Ervin who only shrugged his shoulders.

      “I’m down for whatever.” Ervin drummed his sticks over his thighs. “But it would be nice to catch a break. We’ve been at this since we were in high school. It’s been ten years going from СКАЧАТЬ