God Don't Like Ugly. Mary Monroe

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СКАЧАТЬ heifer! You wench! I seen what was goin’ on in that car!” He waved his finger in my face. “Get a switch!”

      “For what?” I had done nothing that warranted a whupping.

      “For what? What you mean for what? I seen what just happened. Like you ain’t got no shame atall!”

      “I didn’t do anything. Robert felt on my butt—”

      “Get a switch!”

      While Mr. Boatwright was whupping me, we fell to the living-room floor with him landing on top of me. Suddenly, he stopped swinging the switch. He gave me a thoughtful look, forced my legs open, snatched my panties down far enough, and satisfied himself with just one violent thrust.

      When Mama got home, Mr. Boatwright told her how I’d flirted with a boy from the bean-picking crew who had already made two other girls pregnant.

      “You ain’t goin’ to pick beans no more, girl,” Mama informed me. “There is too many boys in them fields. The fields is where I got myself ruined by that bean-pickin’ daddy of yours, and look what he done to us! Make friends with some of them girls at the church or when you start your new school. Forget about boys.”

      “Yes, Ma’am,” I promised. I attempted to make friends with a couple of girls my age at church but failed.

      Mona Mack, who was thin and considered plain, kept reminding me I was overweight. “You should always wear dark colors, girl, and stay away from stripes and plaids,” she told me. I stored away all of my bright-colored clothes and gave my striped and plaid outfits to a secondhand store.

      “Ash Hat Shoppe got some new wigs, and you sure ought to get one to cover your head,” Mona told me on another occasion.

      She enjoyed putting me down, especially in front of other kids. When I realized that, I dropped her.

      Being friends with another girl, Francine Bryant, a plump, dark-skinned girl who was already wearing wigs, didn’t work out either. She borrowed money from me that she never paid back.

      Mama gave me a dollar every week, and I earned a lot by running errands for Scary Mary. But most of my spending money came from Mr. Boatwright. Almost every time after sex, he’d toss me a few dollars. Though I resisted and avoided him as much as I possibly could, sadly I approached him from time to time when I needed money. Once I even went to his room and sat on his bed. “Um…Mr. Boatwright, I want to go to the movies with Francine, but we need money for the bus and popcorn and stuff.” I trembled.

      Mr. Boatwright was lying on his side looking at me with a straight face. He didn’t react until I stroked his arm. “I see,” he growled. He pulled ten dollars out of his pants pocket and handed it to me, then he reached for me.

      “Um…the movie starts real soon,” I said, rising from his bed. He sighed with exasperation, then waved me away with his hand.

      Once Francine and I got to the movies, she left me to go sit with some of her other friends. While I was in a bathroom stall I overheard her tell another girl, “Annette, so stupid! Watch me get a camera out of her for my birthday next month.”

      Francine’s words crushed me. I never told her what I overheard, but I broke off the “friendship” immediately.

      “You’ll meet other girls when school starts this September,” Mama told me when I told her about Mona and Francine.

      “I hope so, Mama,” I replied.

      I still spoke to Mona and Francine when I saw them at church, but turned down their invitations to go swimming or the movies. When Francine sent me an invitation to attend her birthday party, I declined immediately. I was lonely and had low self-esteem but I did have some pride. I didn’t need friends bad enough to put up with those two.

      The first time I saw Rhoda Nelson, the uppity undertaker’s only daughter, my heart almost stopped beating.

      A week before school started, Pee Wee and I were sitting on my front-porch steps when this long black airport limousine crawled around the corner and stopped in front of the undertaker’s house. The driver got out and ran to open one of the back doors.

      “Oh oh,” Pee Wee started. I knew this was going to be something good from his reaction. He stood up and placed his hands on his hips. Rhoda slid out and stretched. “Where you been, Miss Hollywood? Europe again, I bet!” Pee Wee hollered in his sweetest voice.

      The girl smiled and waved. “Just the Bahamas,” she replied casually.

      I stood up and shaded my eyes to see her better. “Pee Wee, who is that girl?” I mouthed. Before he could answer, the girl beckoned for us to join her. I followed Pee Wee across the street as she tipped the driver. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was the prettiest Black girl I had ever seen in my life. She was dark like me. She was regally slim and had a rope of thick black hair that almost reached her waist. Lord, let that hair be a wig, I said under my breath. The most striking thing about her was her eyes. They were huge and bright green. She had a heart-shaped face, a small nose, full pouty lips, and teeth that looked too perfect to be real, though I knew they were.

      “I thought you was down South for the summer visitin’ your white aunt,” Pee Wee said to the girl.

      “I was. But about two weeks ago, Aunt Lola got mad at her boyfriend and wanted to teach him a lesson. While he was at work we sneaked to the Bahamas and stayed until it was time for me to come back home,” Rhoda replied.

      Pee Wee looked at me, and said, “Miss Thing here went to Paris last summer.”

      “Paris, France?” I gasped. The girl was so intimidating I could feel knots forming in my stomach.

      “Oui, oui.” Pee Wee laughed, snapping his fingers.

      “I’m Rhoda,” Miss Thing said warmly. She smiled at me and extended her small hand. She had long slender fingers with neatly polished and manicured nails. Compared to hers, mine looked like the Monkey’s Paw.

      “I’m Annette. We moved to this street in June,” I croaked. Rhoda had on a blue-silk dress, matching pumps, and was carrying a baby blue leather shoulder bag. The dull brown, thrift-shop flannel smock I had on had taken on a life of its own. No matter how hard I cleaned and pressed it, it curled up at the hem and changed colors every time I washed it.

      “Where did you live before?” she asked me.

      “Over by the city dump,” Pee Wee told her, wiggling his nose.

      “Oh,” Rhoda said, moving back a step. “Well, I hope you’ll like it over here.” She smiled. “What grade are you in?” She tossed her hair back off her face.

      “Oh we all in the same grade. Eighth,” Pee Wee volunteered.

      “Good. After school starts, maybe the three of us can get together and study sometime,” she suggested. “Listen, I’m a little tired…”

      “Girl, as soon as you get settled in, I’ll come over and give you all the lowdown on what’s been happenin’. I got all kinds of news. Startin’ with that loutish white uncle of yours,” Pee Wee cried, snapping his neck.

      Rhoda rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I СКАЧАТЬ