God Still Don't Like Ugly. Mary Monroe

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СКАЧАТЬ “Don’t forget to go water my plants. I’ll be home in a few days.”

      “Wait a minute, girl. I ain’t finish talkin’ to you yet.” Muh’Dear lowered her voice to a whisper so I knew what was coming. “You seen that white woman? Your auntie told me that that she-puppy done dragged her white-trash tail on back to Miami.”

      “You mean Edith?” I saw no reason for me to whisper the way Muh’Dear often did when she and I talked about white folks.

      “Who in the world is Edith?” she hissed, still whispering.

      “The white woman Daddy was with.” I didn’t like saying things that hurt my mother but she made it hard for me to avoid.

      “Oh, excuse me! So now you on a first-name basis with that paleface Jezebel?”

      “No, I’m not. I saw her at a vegetable stand that Lillimae took me to today. Uh…Lillimae is Daddy’s oldest girl.” I paused and added with a chuckle, “She looks just like me. She took off from her job at the post office to spend time with me. Daddy lives with her.”

      “You is Frank’s oldest girl,” Muh’Dear reminded with a hiss. “And how she look like you is a mystery to me, since you took after me.”

      “Well, I take after Daddy, too. Listen—I’m tired and I really need to get some sleep. It’s been a long day. I’ll call you again tomorrow.”

      “I still can’t get over what possessed Jerome to let you go down there, by yourself, to prance around with—”

      “Jerome didn’t let me do anything, Muh’Dear. He doesn’t own me and I do have a mind of my own. You should know that by now.”

      “Which is why you still single at thirty-five and I ain’t got no grandchildren.” Muh’Dear let out a heavy sigh before she started grinding her teeth. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as she continued. “Where is that Frank at now? Up in some bootlegger’s house gettin’ drunk and lookin’ for another white woman to joog his pecker up in, I bet.”

      “He’s in bed. He’s not well, Muh’Dear. I think his barhopping days are over. And for the record, the lady friend he’s got now is Black. Miss Pittman.”

      “Oh. Well, you try to enjoy yourself down there. Like I told you before you left, all I want is for you to be happy. And…and I’m glad Frank still in the Church. You can tell him I said that.”

      “I will, Muh’Dear.” I hung up and smiled. I couldn’t wait for that arrogant old cat to finish the pork chop. He dragged what was left of it across the floor as I shooed him back out the door.

      CHAPTER 8

      Long after Clyde the cat had disappeared from the kitchen, I stood in the doorway looking out into the night. Even with the back porch light on, I couldn’t see much. Green vines crawled up the sides of the porch walls. There wasn’t much of a backyard. But it had a clothesline, an old picnic table with three mismatched chairs, and what appeared to be an orange tree. In the yard of almost every one of the sorry shacks I had shared with Muh’Dear and Daddy during my childhood, we’d had an orange tree. I felt like I had come home. In a way, I had.

      I was surprised to turn around and find Lillimae standing by the table in a muslin nightgown that barely covered her body.

      “I hope you don’t think I was eavesdroppin’ on your conversation with your mama,” Lillimae said, removing a pitcher from the refrigerator. She poured us both a glass of water and waved me to a chair at the table as she sat down across from me.

      “That’s okay. I don’t really have anything to hide from you,” I said, plopping down with a groan, drinking water I didn’t want. “Uh, that reminds me of something I’ve been thinking about all evening.” I drank some more water, wishing that it was something stronger sliding down my throat.

      There was a blank look on Lillimae’s face. “What’s that?”

      “I know you must be hurting right now about your mother.”

      Lillimae sighed and clutched her glass with both hands. “And you’re probably wonderin’ why I care about a woman who don’t care about me.”

      “She does care about you,” I said firmly.

      Lillimae gasped and gave me a dry look. “How would you know that? You didn’t know her. And what about the way she behaved at the vegetable stand this evenin’?”

      “I didn’t want to tell you,” I paused because I could barely form my sentences. “Your mother came outside as we were getting back into your car. She had a smile on her face, but she looked like she wanted to cry when we drove off. I bet if her boss hadn’t been around, she would have run out to the car and said something to you.”

      Lillimae started blinking hard and biting her bottom lip. “Sure enough?”

      I nodded. “I would have told you sooner or later. I guess the sooner you know she cares, the better.”

      Lillimae folded her arms and glanced around the kitchen. “Now that I know where my mama works, maybe I’ll go back over there and slip her a note, tellin’ her to meet me somewhere where we can talk. Would you go with me? I don’t think I can do it otherwise. I am not as bold as you.”

      I nodded. “I’m sure your mother would appreciate you taking that step.” I heard the toilet flush, so I glanced toward the doorway. Every time Daddy was out of my sight, I got nervous. It was like I couldn’t look at his face enough. Because my beloved stepfather had recently died, I had been afraid that Daddy would die before I could see him again. I blinked even harder and returned my attention to Lillimae.

      “That day Mama left us, she took me aside and told me that I had to be stronger than Amos and Sondra because of the way I look.” A faraway look appeared on Lillimae’s face. “She was right.”

      “You mean your color?”

      “My lack of color would be more like it. I didn’t know what she meant, but it didn’t take me long to find out. Bein’ a Black girl in a white body ain’t no picnic. I’d give anything in this world to be as dark as you.”

      “But don’t you have some advantages over the rest of us? When you go out alone, don’t white people treat you like one of their own?”

      She nodded. “The ones that don’t know me do. But you don’t know how hard it is to be around Black folks and have them make jokes about me lookin’ white. You don’t know what it feels like when white folks on my job find out I’m Black. I can’t go around announcin’ to the world that I’m Black, but when they find out, it’s a whole different ball game. My first boyfriend’s mama was into that Black Panther stuff. The first time she got a look at me, she told me to my face that she wasn’t goin’ to be ‘eatin’ with the enemy’ or some shit like that.”

      I pursed my lips and shrugged. “You can’t do anything about the way you look.”

      “And don’t think I haven’t tried. I used to wear Afro wigs and dark makeup. When I got tired of that, I started wearin’ braids and all the things I saw the other Black girls wearin’. But that wasn’t me. I can’t be happy tryin’ to be somethin’ I’m not. Now my old man, Freddie Lee, ain’t СКАЧАТЬ