Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine #20. Arthur Conan Doyle

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СКАЧАТЬ that the average affair runs its course in about three months, after which the novelty has worn off and each of the amatory partners suffer deep regret and wish to effect some sort of reconciliation with the person they cheated on. If indeed you do love her as much as you say, accept her return without recriminations and double your amatory attentions, if at all possible. She will be ever so grateful and unlikely to repeat her indiscretion… but if she does cheat on you again, you must steel yourself to get over her somehow!

      But if children are involved, your first duty must be to protect them, both as their father and as their legal guardian. Whilst I caution you not to say anything derogatory about their mother to them, I strongly advise you to seek the advice of a domestic attorney. Mr Holmes knows an excellent one who will exact a modest fee upon my tenant’s say-so.

      Sincerely,

      Mrs (Martha) Hudson

      * * * *

      Dear Mrs Hudson,

      Would you mind telling us something about your late (presumably) husband?

      Curious in Carfax

      * * * *

      Dear Curious,

      Yes, I would mind.

      Mrs Hudson

      * * * *

      Dear Mrs Hudson,

      My late husband John Jasper Weems died recently and would have left me penniless but for the generous life insurance payment that my solicitor recently received.

      Unfortunately, this worthies’s offices have been broken into a few weeks ago and all of the monies stored there have been lifted, even though it was all kept in a state-of-the-art safe.

      Have you any advice? I am at a loss as to what I may do, and my bills are accruing at an alarming rate!

      Desperately,

      Mrs (Elizabeth) Weems

      * * * *

      Dear Elizabeth,

      I hope you do not mind my addressing you by your first name, but I am touched, troubled—and quite alarmed—at your fiscal predicament. Kindly brace yourself for some shocking news…

      Your husband is not dead! He is a criminal with whom Mr Holmes is quite familiar. Indeed, he was imprisoned for many years for a crime identical in nature to the one that “Mr Weems” has perpetrated upon you. (I have placed his name in parentheses because his real name is Jacob Moran. He is the younger and estranged brother of the infamous Colonel Moran, who is employed by a man Mr Holmes cautions me not to name).

      Rest assured that Moran soon will be brought to justice, at which time what is rightfully yours shall be restored to you. Mr Holmes is about to apprehend him. He says I should tell you that he will not charge for his services, for he was already “on the case.” Though if you wish, a small gift would be appreciated; pipe tobacco is always welcome, but if you decide upon this, kindly avoid the more aromatic blends that Mr Holmes enjoys to the discomfort of me and Dr Watson!

      I trust your heart shall weather this unexpected turn of events.

      Trusting in Your Good Sense

      Mrs (Martha) Hudson

      * * * *

      In my column in the nineteenth issue of this magazine, I said that I would honour requests to share mixed drink recipes I have concocted for me and my tenants. Here are four of them. Three involve blended scotch, which Dr Watson is fond of, though he generally drinks it neat. Scotch does not mix well with most cocktail ingredients.

      For the last recipe, I had to do a bit of research. My church asked me to prepare a libation for a fund-raising party. I came upon Fisherman’s Punch though it why it is called that, I have no idea. Do be warned! It goes down ever so easily—and therein lies the danger; it is like the theatrical works of James M Barrie, that dear Scottish playwright, whose compositions are the proverbial iron fist in a velvet glove.

      SCOTCH AND DUBONNET

      2 oz. of blended scotch

      1 oz. of red Dubonnet

      3 dashes of orange bitters

      1 1. Ice a cocktail shaker.

      2 2. Strain all liquids into the shaker.

      3 3. Add an orange twist.

      * * * *

      ARTHUR’S SWEET

      The name of this drink is based on Edinburgh’s old mountain Arthur’s Seat.

      1 oz. of blended scotch

      ¾ oz. of cherry brandy

      1 oz. of fresh orange juice

      ¾ oz. of sweet vermouth

      1 1. Ice a cocktail shaker.

      2 2. Add all liquids to the shaker.

      3 3. Shake well.

      4 4. Strain into an appropriate glass.

      5 5. Add a cherry.

      * * * *

      LOCH NESS BREW

      2 oz. of blended scotch

      1 bottle of ginger beer

      ¾ oz. of lime juice

      1 1. Fill a highball glass with ice.

      2 2. Place the lime juice and scotch into the glass.

      3 3. Fill the remainder of the glass with ginger beer.

      4 4. Stir the liquids.

      5 5. Add a slice of lime.

      * * * *

      FISHERMAN’S PUNCH

      1 bottle of blended scotch (avoid the peatier ones)

      1 bottle of apricot brandy

      1 small bottle of armagnac (cognac is also usable)

      ½ bottle of green ginger wine

      1 bottle of champagne

      1 1. In a large punch-bowl place a great quantity of ice.

      2 2. Add apricot brandy, armagnac, scotch and ginger wine

      3 3. Fill to half the bowl’s capacity with plain soda.

      4 4. Chill the mixture till just before serving.

      5 5. Add champagne and stir.

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