Cassandra Behind Closed Doors. Linda Sorpreso

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СКАЧАТЬ not even a big word Sophie. I could have used ‘detri-mental’ or ‘prejudicial’ in that sentence.”

      “Well, I’m sorry I don’t read and memorise the dictionary.”

      “I do not! I’m surprised you even know the meaning of the word. Isn’t it too big for you?”

      I knew I went too far but I couldn’t help myself. I definitely used the dictionary a lot but I was a hopeless speller and I couldn’t hand in work with misspelled words. Besides, I had three older sisters and they used bigger and more impressive words I wasn’t aware of. But I wouldn’t ask them to ‘speak down’ to me so I could understand them. I looked the word up so I could learn from it and then used it in my own vocabulary. Why else would the words be part of the English language, if not to use them? Besides, I didn’t use ‘big words’ all the time, I did however find it useful with homework, reading, dialogue and the most important one of all — my writing.

      When I was eight-years-old, our task in class had been to write a creative story. I wrote Lost in the Forest, where my main character Dannii Minogue, obviously got lost in a forest. My teacher, Mrs. Hunter was very impressed with my work and I remember her words clearly to this day. ‘You have a lot of talent. You should be an author.’ From that moment on, my script was written out for me. I wanted to be a writer.

      “Come on guys, cut it out. You’ve both been good all night. You’ve only fought once, it must be a record.” Tessa began. “Anyway Cassie, about telling Lizzie, it’s really up to you. Personally, I don’t think you should. It didn’t mean anything, it was just a game.”

      “Yeah…I suppose you’re right,” I said, opening the door. I lingered for a moment, staring at my cousins. I wanted to tell them that to me it wasn’t ‘just a game’. To me, it was surreal, a moment that I wanted and thought about constantly.

      Though I didn’t know what I was feeling at the moment. My emotions were like stereograms. On the outside, the picture appeared to be straightforward, yet hidden underneath was the accurate interpretation. In my case, it was a chain of confusion, deception and feelings of despair. It was something that could have been avoided if I had just been honest in the first place, not with Brayden but with Lizzie, then maybe I wouldn’t be feeling like a punching bag knocked around in too many directions.

      It had been seven days since the twisted maze of lies had begun. It was the night of my cousin Tony’s twenty-first birthday party, when someone decided to play Cupid and mismatched all the wrong couples. That’s what I believed anyway, though at the time, I think our hormones controlled us and we were all distorted by the illusion of each other.

      I had seen Brayden earlier that afternoon and I was surprised at how comfortable I felt even though it had been ten months since I had seen him last. After he left, I couldn’t stop talking about him to Tessa. It was just so easy being with him, which was surprising because whenever I had a crush on somebody, my shyness would kick in and I found it difficult to speak, let alone smile or laugh. With Brayden, it was different. Maybe it was because for the first time ever I actually felt a connection that was not only one-sided. He was just so nice, so gorgeous and I felt myself pulled in with every word he spoke. If only I had the chance to tell Lizzie how I felt beforehand. Maybe it would have changed the outcome but I knew that was only wishful thinking. I knew how much Lizzie liked him too.

      It just happened so quickly, Superman would have been impressed. One minute, we were all chatting, and then the next, Brayden was beside Lizzie, asking her out and crushing me in the process. Before I even recovered from the shock, Vinnie asked me out. I laughed, assuming he was joking because he had always been interested in Tessa. Apparently, it was no prank and he honestly liked me. Vinnie had been a friend of the family for about six years. He was good looking, nice, fun to be around and proved to be quite sweet when he wanted to be. He even gave me a rose that night and although he picked it out of Zia Sarina’s garden, I was quite flattered by his attention. I liked him and I assumed my feelings for Brayden would disappear, so I said ‘yes’. Obviously, I was wrong or I wouldn’t be here, debating with myself on who I wanted.

      I usually told my cousins everything, especially Tessa. She was fourteen-years-old and there was no one I loved more than her, besides my mum. We were as close as sisters, always together and it had been like that ever since we were young. We spoke on the phone every night and whenever I had a problem, she was there for me without exception. We barely ever fought and if we did, we patched things up straight away.

      Whereas with Sophie, we had a different relationship and I couldn’t say it was the best. I loved her, however she annoyed me at times and we argued constantly. Not just petty little tiffs, but full-blown arguments where we wouldn’t talk to each other for months. Well, she would try to but my stubborn streak would let it carry on until I was ready to forgive her and the only reason I did was because she was my cousin. If it had been anyone else, trust me I would have given them the flick a long time ago. She had done things to me that were unforgivable and would never be forgotten.

      Sophie wasn’t a bad person; she just didn’t think before she spoke which normally caused most of our arguments. I wasn’t an angel either but I wouldn’t take any shit from anyone, regardless of who they were to me. I was probably considered the mean and spiteful one that could not let anything go but the thing that pissed me off with Sophie was when we had a fight, she would twist the story around to her mum. Then Zia Manuela called, blaming the argument on me and trying to get me into trouble with my parents. Well, it didn’t work. If I was at fault, I would admit it and my mum knew I wouldn’t lie to get myself out of trouble. We all knew Sophie was the liar and a copycat.

      She practically copied me in everything I did. The boys I liked, my letter folding, favourite actors and my writing style. I dot my ‘I’ with a little cross on top, and she had to mimic me with that too. Okay, so I had copied my best friend Maddy, but did everything have to be the same between us? We were a year and three days apart, both born in the same month, both Scorpios and we even had the same godmother, which meant every year we received the same gift from her because she didn’t want to show favouritism. That was understandable but it really bothered me and I think Sophie too. There were some differences between us. I loved to write, she loved to sing, I loved Bugs Bunny while she loved Tweety, her favourite group was Girlfriend while mine was Boys II men and TLC. Why not buy us presents that we would individually enjoy? Maybe then, Sophie would get the hint and stop imitating me in other things.

      “Cassie, are you going inside or are you going to keep on standing there with your mouth open?” Sophie asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. “It’s bloody cold.”

      “Sorry,” I mumbled. I opened my mouth to speak, then hesitated, and went inside, with Tessa and Sophie following me. There was no point trying to describe what I was feeling, considering I didn’t know myself.

      I walked through the corridor and into the kitchen, heading towards my mum who was standing near the bench, her back facing me. I noticed she was speaking to Nonna and not wanting to interrupt her; I just hugged her from behind, resting my head on her shoulder. She squeezed my hands gently.

      “Aspetta Mama,” I heard her say to Nonna. “Cassie, what’s wrong?”

      I lifted my head. “How did you know it was me?”

      She removed my arms around her waist and turned around. “Of course I knew it was you, you’re my baby. What’s the matter?”

      “I’ll tell you later,” I said.

      “Are you sure?” she asked, concerned.

      I nodded. She parted my thick fringe and СКАЧАТЬ