Cassandra Behind Closed Doors. Linda Sorpreso

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СКАЧАТЬ the teddy aside. “He is going out with Lizzie.”

      “Well, you never know unless you ask him.”

      “I’m never going to do that.” I got up, grabbing my jeans and T-shirt that was thrown onto the chair from the night before. “If Brayden and I are meant to be together, he’ll have to make the first move and it’s not going to happen when he has a girlfriend.”

      “Well, I think you should talk to him.”

      “And look like a fool? I don’t think so. Not to mention losing Lizzie and I’m not prepared to do that.”

      “I suppose so.”

      I opened the door. “Well, I don’t want to discuss this anymore. I’m over it. Get ready and we’ll get some lunch.”

      We went to the fish and chip shop and ordered two dollars worth of chips. I needed something oily — too bad it couldn’t slide my troubles away. After we finished eating, we played my new game, Wheel of Fortune, which turned out to be a lot of fun. I loved board games, it was therapeutic for me, made all my problems disappear and I could actually concentrate on something else, rather than myself.

      Later that day after Sophie left, I climbed onto my wall and tried to sort through the Brayden/Cassie/Vinnie/ Lizzie love square. I felt as though I was a character on Days of Our Lives particularly Hope Williams when she was about to marry Larry, and Bo Brady, the man she had been in love with since her teens, whisked her away on her wedding day. I could just see it now. Brayden rides along on a motorcycle, I Need a Hero playing in the background, and he declares his love for me, telling me to forget about Vinnie, forget about Lizzie and we ride towards the sunset. And then from the corner of my eye, I see my dad coming after me, holding a shotgun.

      Unfortunately, life wasn’t that simple because God wrote the script for us all, and life was like a long movie where he was the Director.

      I knew I was being over dramatic, yet that’s how I felt. I could risk losing Lizzie and I never wanted to lose her friendship. She meant too much to me. I had known her my entire life and our friendship had grown year after year.

      I had known Brayden forever too and had loved him for most of it. I was four-years-old, chasing him around the backyard, telling him how much I loved him. And I did love him back then. Unfortunately, in those days he was more infatuated with my sister Carla than me.

      With Vinnie, I had doubts about him from the beginning; his feelings for Tessa — if they had really disappeared, his mum — who made me feel uncomfortable all the time and my wandering eyes, which had been a problem too. Also, I felt guilty. Sophie and Anna had liked Vinnie before we began dating and I was sure they still liked him. I did care about him though. He was sweet and had made an effort with me. Before school ended, he actually came to visit me at lunchtime. Sophie found me and dragged me to the gate. I stood there for twenty minutes, embarrassed by my daggy uniform, half-watched my friends who were practically drooling in front of him and kept peering over my shoulder, looking out for teachers, afraid I would get busted for having visitors.

      How I longed for the days when I was a child, when Tess and I were too busy doing dance routines or playing scenes from Young Talent Time or Days of Our Lives. Pretending we were Hope and Bo in the fish market, using the leaves as fish and having thin long sticks as chips. I wanted to go back to the time where decisions were determined by dig, dig, dog shit or there’s a party on the hill, and the only thing you really had to decide was whether you wanted to play hide-and-seek, elastics or skipping. Life shouldn’t be this difficult. We shouldn’t have to choose between your best friend and the boy you loved.

      “Cassandra!”

      “Jesus Christ, Mum. You gave me a heart attack.”

      She laughed. “Sorry, Salvatore is on the phone.”

      I jumped down from the wall and went inside. I grabbed the phone. “Hey Cassie, do you want to go bowling with Tessa and me tonight?”

      “Yeah, sounds like fun. Just wait a minute though; I have to ask my dad.” I put down the phone. This was something I wasn’t looking forward to. Dad was extremely strict. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere, especially at night. I wasn’t even allowed to go to the milk bar by myself until a couple of months ago and that was only at the end of the street. He was very protective of my sisters and me. People said how lucky we were that our parents really cared about us but I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as a life sentence in jail. I was enclosed in the one house all the time and ‘don’t do this, don’t do that’ had been drilled into me like a warden would do to their prisoners. I hoped he was in a good mood and he would let me go, or else I had to fake the tears and beg him.

      “Dad?” My voice quivered.

      He turned his gaze from the TV, his eyes levelled with mine.

      “Can I go bowling with Sav and Tessa tonight?”

      “Why?”

      “Sav is leaving this week and he wants to see me before he goes.” I bit my lip.

      “Who’s driving?”

      “Zia Sarina, I think.”

      He stayed silent, staring at me as if I was somehow lying to him. Why would I? It was just bowling. It wasn’t as if I was asking to go to a party where I would smoke and get drunk. Besides, I would never do that anyway. I was against those things because of him.

      I looked at Mum for some help. She raised her eyebrows and gave me the ‘don’t get me involved’ look.

      “Well, can I please go? Sav is waiting on the phone; I have to let him know.”

      He cleared his throat, raised his eyebrow and then nodded.

      “Thanks,” I said, surprised. I could have kissed him, but I stopped myself. He would probably change his mind if I did. I half-ran, half-skipped into my bedroom and spent another five minutes on the phone, arranging plans. I hung up the phone just as Abby came in.

      “Who was that?” she asked.

      “Sav,” I replied. “He asked me to go bowling. How was your day?”

      “It was okay. I just went to Jim’s house and we watched a movie,” she said, putting her bag away. “Hey, do you mind if I come bowling? It sounds like fun.”

      “Yeah, I’m sure there’ll be enough room in the car.”

      “What time are they coming?”

      “Seven-thirty.”

      “You can’t stop smiling, is there something you’re not telling me?”

      “No, it’s nothing. I just can’t believe Dad said ‘yes’. The King is allowing me to live a life beyond these four binding walls.”

      “I know. I’m shocked too. Maybe he’ll give you more freedom.”

      “I hope so.” I just couldn’t stop beaming. I felt like twirl-ing about the room, doing handstands and cheering like a cheerleader.

      Mum came into the room. “Girls, time for dinner.”

      We СКАЧАТЬ