Buddy's Universe - A Beagle's Life Book II. BuzzzzOff

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      I have to shake my head either up, down or sideways when someone makes a statement and then finishes with “Ya know what I mean?” Is he really asking me if I understand what he said? Is he seeking my agreement with what he said? Or is he simply exhaling carbon dioxide? Fortunately, Human Beings - including Beagles - cannot exhale more carbon dioxide than they inhale. Thus, this waste of words is not contributing to an increase in carbon dioxide in the world. It is just driving me crazy!!!

      Mental Masturbation - Winston Churchill rocks!

      I read about this short, fat guy who was very important many years ago. His name was Winston Churchill. He did some really good things in a place called Europe - along with his friends from the USA - that ensured French Human Beings could speak French, English Human Beings could speak English, Spanish Human Beings could speak Spanish, etc. I think he was largely responsible for saving Europe from some crazy, slightly taller and much thinner fella with a funny moustache!

      In any event, I also read that he said a lot of interesting, if not controversial, things during his life. Here are a few that sound pretty good to this Beagle:

      Mental Masturbation - Why Human Beings write

      Human Beings speak because they like to hear themselves talk and they cannot read.

      Human Beings read because they do not have many thoughts of their own and they cannot write.

      Human Beings write because they cannot speak or read, but they - almost comically - believe other Human Beings are interested in what they are seeking to communicate.

      Beagles write because we cannot speak, read or, for that matter, write.

      Riddle that one, Batman!!!

      Mental Masturbation - Why all the fuss about nudity?

      I am a Beagle. I do not wear clothing. My private parts dangle from my body for all the world to see. I even clean them in public.

      Why are Human Beings so silly about showing their private parts?

      My parents watched a movie the other day where the “hero” killed more than one hundred, possibly one thousand, people.

      That is OkeyDokey, but showing Human Beings’ private parts is bad?

      I saw some crazy gal named Miley Cyrus pretty much showed off what little she has of boobies on television and Human Beings went even crazier than her. What was the big (well, little) issue?

      I do not know who she is, and I do not care that she displayed her boobies. I show my boobies and other private parts to Human Beings all the time. I wonder what would happen if I did it on television? Where is my agent!?

      Oh, please someone explain to me why Human Beings make such a fuzz about nudity...

      Mental Masturbation - Which firms control what the world consumes?

      I am a Beagle so I do not buy anything. However, I consume a lot because I like to sip ’n snack just like my parents.

      I read an article the other day that indicated only 10 companies in the world produce almost everything the average person buys! I assume this includes Beagles because, well, Human Beings buy stuff for me all the time.

      Well, so much for the little guy…why would anyone start their own business!?

      Do you know the names of those companies? I just found out. I guess you probably do not know so here ya go...

      Kraft

      Unilever

      Pepsico

      MARS

      General Mills

      Coca-Cola

      Johnson + Johnson

      Nestle

      Kellogg’s

      P&G

      Mental Masturbation - USA Presidential Candidate Perry: Let us take guns to movie theatres

      Here we go folks! I know I am just a Beagle, but I have heard a lot of stuff about the 2nd Amendment of the USA Constitution. So I read it the other day. It says "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

      Sounds like the fellas who wrote this two-liner were more worried about the Human Beings having to fight the USA law enforcement and military machinery than drug dealers, psychos and other misfits СКАЧАТЬ