Learn A Man Earn A Man. Barry Fletcher
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Название: Learn A Man Earn A Man

Автор: Barry Fletcher

Издательство: Ingram

Жанр: Личностный рост

Серия:

isbn: 9781456601775

isbn:

СКАЧАТЬ is what ladies want to hear come out of a man’s mouth: I want a committed relationship with you, I’m falling in love with you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life and ultimately, will you marry me? She wants to hear it, have it reinforced and hear it again. To which I say... say it ain’t so, ladies! This is the kind of language that turns too many men into liars. He knows, because you either tell him or show him, that you want to hear that. So even if he is not there yet, he soon finds himself saying words that just end up making the lady feel secure, protected and more trusting – falsely. And the irony of this is that it defeats the result that men are actually most concerned with: gaining your trust! men want to be trusted no matter whether they are worthy or not. Ladies, if you get caught sneaking around checking behind your man, he’s going to be very upset upon his discovery. It may be safer for you to warn him before you start snooping. This is the way I interpreted Chris Brown’s anger toward Rihanna. She didn’t trust him and therefore was checking his text messages. In a lot of cases the man is quite disappointed to find that his committed love has some apprehension.

      Now let me give it to you straight, with no chaser. Commitment has a different meaning for a woman than it does for most men. To women, it means security, freedom, loyalty, marriage and it means forever or permanent. To a man, that same word – commitment – means he can’t protect him self from you. It means he has to expose his vulnerable side. It means he loses his freedom, his ability to make decisions for himself or his ability to control the emotional roller-coaster ride that follows. But this is where I can be most helpful in suggesting that ladies need to change their tactics and their thinking. Quit telling him to stand up, be a man and marry you. It’s not necessarily true that we are weak. We may just be happy with our lives at the tim e and don’t want to introduce possible complications by saying something stupid like... I do! The more you pressure a man about marriage before he is ready, the more apprehensive he becomes. Please don’t get upset with me – I’m just the messenger.

      If this sound like food for thought, it is. Remember what Shakespeare said: To thine own self be true. If you can do that, if you can live it, people will accept you and trust you based on your integrity and actions. The attitude you choose to put forth has everything to do with the response you receive in return. As you become more familiar with your own emotions, you will become more confident in yourself. You will be happy within your own skin and in your heart, never mind what a man says, thinks or does. You will control your destiny; this attitude is very contagious to others.

      Tease the confident guy and compliment the shy one. Men don’t get compliments often; a genuine compliment about his thoughtfulness will go a long, long way. And one other secret tip for you: Do you know what really sparks a flame in a man? Anticipation. We love not knowing how something is going to turn out, the thrill of gradually having the excitement unfold before us. This is the reason men get so fired up about sports... it’s the anticipation. So keep your mystery about you. Do not give a man everything right away, or all the time. We love to have a surprise every once in a while or something good to look forward to especially if it comes from you! Offer to help out with projects he is devoted to. You will know you are learning him when you’re able to think ahead for him. There is something binding about a person who is willing to help you with a project that is close to your heart.

      Marriage may be overrated but good relationships are priceless. Some of the most powerful women in the world – women who lead their respective industries or professions – are single. And whether you are man- strung, man-less or going about your man in a one-day-at-a-time, take-it-as-it-comes kind of way, you are prone to taking uneducated risks unless you master the formula for learning him, in order to truly and deeply earn him. So, read on, OK? Nothing you thought you knew has properly prepared you for what I am about to say.

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2

      The mystery – the magic – the moments

      Ladies, I want to empower you with a plethora of information about the way men think, from an Ardent Bachelor’s perspective. You may now deem this book your passport; the key that unlocks the mysteries of a man’s head and heart. And the best way to win a man’s heart is to find out what’s in it. One of the main reasons I wanted to write a book on relationships is because of my own peculiar behavior around the idea of commitment. Even though I’ve been in a couple of long-term relationships, I haven’t seriously considered marriage since I got my heart broken more than thirty years ago.

      Granted, my profession places me in front of a variety of women who seek my expertise for their image alterations. Sometimes a day’s work can fulfill all the needs I may have for communicating with women. As a public servant to women for a living (and this is really how I think of my work!), I can get my “social fix” right at the “office,” which is to say, the salon.

      This also means one of the pleasures available to me is that, upon returning home, there are no requirements for me to talk or get bossed around. At home, I want to enjoy a relationship built on trust, great anticipation, minimal talking and more pleasures. Regardless of whether it’s right or wrong, it’s important to know what turns you on and what you want from a companion. Otherwise, you’ll spend exorbitant amounts of time looking for excuses to end or bring closure to the relationship. I’m sure you know men who can come up with all types of excuses.

      I thought about all the friends (ladies and men) whom I have, and decided to solicit them for information by conducting a national survey at my website, www.barryfletcher.com. I wanted to ask followers on my website their opinion regarding the line of demarcation; the location of that point where things start to get “too serious” between a man and a woman. Is it something a woman does to spook a man? I’ve heard quite a bit about men disappearing, making misleading gestures and exhibiting cruel treatment. Now I see what you ladies have to go through to get emphatically clear answers out of a man.

      As I began writing this book I talked to mature men and women of diverse backgrounds; they were single, divorced, married, sexy, desirable, etc. It took much more effort to get follow-up information out of men than it did women. First you have to track them down, and then it was challenging to pry information out of them without them feeling they were “incriminating” themselves. On the other hand, the women were eager to express themselves and were much more descriptive. Most of the women I spoken with seemed to enjoy talking about their past and present companions. Some could easily be perceived as scorned, while some were disgruntled and upset. But most importantly I heard quite a few success stories. They spoke with redeeming emotions that were calming to their spirits, and also obviously rode along on a wave of feelings. Some of these women told me they could no longer blame themselves for his irrational behavior… behavior they described as inconsiderate and rude. I’ve heard it all, from women who reported having the best husband in the world to stories of abandonment and infidelity, of betrayal and theft and even of a man having two families and two names. I’ve heard from women who were misled to believe their man was an ideal man; he told her he wanted a future with her but in actuality he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

      I learned at a young age that love is nothing to play with. I’ve had my feelings hurt every time I fell deeply in love, becoming possessive, intrusive, prone to lacking self-confidence, and feeling uncertain and shaky. As hard as I fell for my first love, I didn’t like the way she made me feel about myself. She gave me a complex about my looks, my size, my car, my talent, my finances and most of all, my ability to please her. It seemed as if I could never do enough to please her. Being that I was also starting a career that required much of my time, let’s just say there were many moments of conflict. I suppose the key point to this story is that after she confessed to cheating on me with her previous boyfriend, it just confirmed all my insecurities! Freak!

      A man wants СКАЧАТЬ