Core. Kassten Alonso

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СКАЧАТЬ bright as the water. The tassels all shook with fire. When hotter days came he would hide in the corn. He’d lie on his back and listen to the things that ran up and down the rows. He would hold his breath when Roxy called his name. He’d lie absolutely still lest he burst into flame.

      The sun bore down on him like an ant been left in a mason jar. The breath sat on his heart. He clenched the sand in his fists. Cam did not come up.

      He couldn’t hold it anymore and he coughed out his breath. He counted all the way to twelve Mississippi before Cam broke for air. Cam gasped and shook his head and laughed. The bluff faces laughed with Cam. The faces hawked strong smooth strokes as Cam swam to him.

      When he reached the shallows, Cam stood. The water streamed down his body. Cam stared with those milky blue spooky eyes. Christ you’d a let me drowned wouldn’t you? Cam said.

      He looked to the place where the creek seeped out the pond and cut through the ash trees. He said, You had to know everybody’d be worried about you.

      Cam grabbed the sand and hoisted himself onto the ledge. Cam shook his head and water sprayed all over. Say man toss me that towel Cam said.

      He picked up the green towel and handed it to Cam. Cam rubbed the towel over his blond hair and over his shoulders, his arms and stomach. Cam’s chest rose and fell all brown in the sun. Cam said, Okay look man I admit I didn’t think things out on this one. Same time there wasn’t no harm done. The way people bugged just shows we could all use a good mindfuck every now and again. Keep us loose. My mom of all people could sure use one. It’s like a karma thing and I can just see Mom wringing her hands and wringing her bottle and saying Where’s that boy a mine he’s all I got because I’m all alone here since I dumped his old man and booty hooty hoo. Cam laughed. Kind of funny, karma, ain’t it? Cam said. The way things are always going around and coming around?

      He stared at the scars on his stomach. They’d all healed over but a couple were still red. How last night when the fire had run along upon the ground. How it had run round the basement and had run back at him like Indians on the warpath, eating things down to the shadows. How his sneakers pedaled the wall and his fingers raked up the bark dust and he could feel the heat all wet on his back and he wondered if the furnace would blow and if he’d be able to get out in time.

      He looked up at Cam. He said Thought you maybe disappeared on account a what happened with the baseball team.

      Cam’s eyes shined like lamps of fire. He felt Cam’s eyes try to light the insides of his head. He looked away. Cam laughed. No man, Cam said, I don’t give a shit about the baseball team. I took off because I never get to see my old man no more. And he’s growing up so fast. Cam laughed and punched him on the arm.

      But Cam, he said. Everybody knows you lost your scholarship.

      Wedged into the sand behind Cam was the water bottle that didn’t have water but did have vodka and soda pop. Cam stretched out and fetched the bottle and sat up and popped the cap with his thumb. Shit happens, fecal matters, Cam said. Cam raised the bottle and drank.

      But that was the only way we was getting into the same school. Like we been planning?

      Cam belched and licked his lips. Aw fuck school, Cam said. Fuck school and fuck baseball man. Hell I’ll just play a guitar.

      But you could of gone so far, he said. Mr. Randolf says you could of won the Cy Young someday. You could of been a real star.

      Cam said, A star? and blinked his milk blue eyes. Don’t you get it? I am hindoo baby. Bad luck and fucked days, they just roll right off me. Check it out. So what if I got kicked off the baseball team. So what if I lost the big bad scholarship. I don’t give a shit about college. I don’t give a shit about the majors. For chrissakes baseball’s a game for kids ain’t it? Cam took a drink and smacked his lips. Cam tipped the bottle like he was making a toast. All getting kicked off the baseball team means is it’s time to do something else. Like learn how to play guitar. Start a band. Make a bazillion and be found dead with a couple hookers and so much coke it’ll look like we got rolled in flour. Cam took a drink from the bottle and belched again. Here man.

      No, he said, and he waved away the bottle.

      Just have a sip man. One little sip. It’s hot out.

      He pushed Cam’s arm away. I don’t want none, he said. Butter and honey shall I eat, that I may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good.

      Cam’s eyes stared like chips of ice in his head. Onward Christian soldier, Cam said. Goddamn. You ought to be a priest or something. You got the guilt for it. The scars too.

      He felt his face burn. He smelled the smoke and the gasoline in his hair and saw steam come up out his skin. Cam grabbed his shoulder so he could push himself up. Cam’s body looked like it was carved out of caramel. Next to Cam he was soft and pale and dead.

      Cam said, Check it out man. The possibilities in this life are endless is all what I’m trying to tell you. Baseball ain’t the start or the end of the world or nothing. Not when the world’s a big old oyster I’m going to suck up one pearl at a time. Live in the now you know ain’t that what they say? Live in the now. Be free. Fuck man. You ain’t even taking care a your own now.

      He looked up at Cam. Pollen drifted round Cam’s head. Cam smiled down at him and drank from the bottle. What do you mean? he said.

      Cam said, You know what I mean. Today’s the most important day of our young lives and you’re going to spend it—what? Canning peaches with your grandma?

      I already told you I couldn’t find no date.

      You had Jenny twisting on the hook. She’d a pooped if you gave her the work order.

      I couldn’t take her, he said, That girl’s a tramp. She’s done it with everybody. Even you.

      Cam’s laugh bounced all round the broke up shell of the bluff. The ashes rustled their leaves. The flickers went wic wic wic hidden in the green. The creek trickled into and out the beaver pond and the sun beat on his head. Everything laughed at him.

      He pulled his feet out the water and swung his legs up onto the ledge. Reckon I didn’t want to go to no prom anyhow, he said. It ain’t nothing except evilness, drink and adultery. He stood and went through the reeds and hoppers scattered and a snake rasped off into deeper cover.

      Hey man, Cam said.

      He walked out on the diving plank. The plank bobbed some with each step. He curled his toes over the end. Mats of water fern and glossy clouds of duckweed floated on the water. Round the pond purple loosestrife grew even thicker than last year. And no fingerlings hatched this season at all. The beaver pond was dying. His folks were dead. Everything shall be salted with fire.

      Cam clapped his hands and said, Hey man come on this is dumb you got to go. Missing your prom’s bad mojo ain’t you heard the news? It’s like a unfinished chapter type thing. You’ll be unfinished and the rest of your life’ll be in limbo. Come on man you want to go. You can wear your old man’s tux and take your Aunt Roxy. She ain’t too bad. She’s what twentyfive, thirty? Come on man. Say you’ll go.

      He raised his arms out to the sides. He took a breath and jumped up and down till the plank dipped heavy under him. Drops of water flipped off his skin. His head already hurt from the sun and hurt worse when Cam called his name. His knees came apart and he caught the plank wrong and the plank hucked him. He fell up in the air. His back arched so СКАЧАТЬ