Название: Intimate Treason
Автор: Claudia Black
Издательство: Ingram
Жанр: Медицина
isbn: 9781937612016
isbn:
EXAMPLES
Since I have been aware, actually since I have had suspicions, I just cry. I can’t seem to stop. I cry and then sleep. Cry and sleep. I am not good for much at all.
I go about my day, pretending like everything is just fine, like I don’t really know any of this stuff.
It’s been three months since I learned of what he has been doing and I find myself isolating and eating, consuming large quantities of sugar. I simply go through the motions of the day.
The following is a list of reactions common to betrayed partners after learning about the addiction. In your journal, write down all the items you identify as symptoms of the stress you are encountering.
Persistently asking questions of your partner.
Searching for proof, that is, checking his or her cell phone, web history, GPS tracking.
Uncontrollable episodes of anger and rage.
Seeking revenge by telling entire family, certain friends, having own affair.
Deliberately purchasing something to antagonize your partner.
Willing to do anything sexually.
Punishing him or her with silence.
Secretly reading his or her recovery writings.
Sculpting yourself to be the perfect object of his or her sexual desire, that is, extreme dieting, cosmetic surgery, etc.
Bingeing on food.
Self-harm, such as banging head, cutting, burning, etc.
Compulsively watching television or being on the Internet.
Sleeping extremely long hours, or throughout the day.
Avoiding any discussion about what you now know.
Talking incessantly.
Continual crying.
Fearful to bring up what you both know.
Ruminating, obsessive thinking about what you picture or fantasize he or she did and what it looked like, who the partners were, and/or about revenge.
Other.
What makes these behaviors problematic is that they betray you. If you give in to the urge to exact revenge, you will suffer the consequence of further pain and often the problem for which you sought relief will still be there. In order to begin to lessen the automatic urge to react to a trigger, it is important to know that the body needs time for intense reactivity to subside. This can take fifteen to twenty minutes because the brain becomes flooded with a rush of neurochemical changes that prepare you to fight, flee, or freeze. To control an impulse caused by a triggering event, it is essential you create a plan that can be used anytime, anywhere as soon as your body is giving any sensory signs that you are in danger.
Subtle signs such as a receipt for a cash withdrawal, a sex scene on television, or an inappropriate email written by your partner can trigger realistic fear that he or she is acting out. Having the best strategies in place to handle and address triggers is essential to effectively recovering СКАЧАТЬ