The Courage to Give. Jackie Waldman

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СКАЧАТЬ we can access whenever we choose. He suggested that readers go within and be quiet, to listen to the voice within. And he spoke about waking each day and being grateful for the smallest of things, to enjoy the journey instead of working only for an outcome. If we can do these things, miracles begin to occur.

      I can only describe my experience of reading that book as an instant awakening. In one moment, every piece of my life became crystal clear. I knew that I had lived my life not seeing “real” magic. In that one moment, I knew without a doubt exactly who I was—not a person with a disease and weak legs, but a person who has a heart filled with love and wants to be of service.

      I felt a lightness I had not felt in years. And my healing began.

      At that point, I understood that my healing isn't about searching for the cure to multiple sclerosis. There is no cure for MS. My healing is about healing within. It's about being motivated by ethics, serenity, and quality of life—not achievement, performance, and acquisitions.

      And I suddenly knew loving guidance was always available to me. All I had to do was ask. I have never felt alone again. I knew my purpose was to serve others—that's why my service work always gave me new energy.

      About a year later, I said, “God, OK, I'm really stretched. I keep saying ‘Yes’ to everyone. I promise I'll say ‘Yes’ to whatever YOU ask me to do. What's next?”

      Less than a week later, I woke up and looked at Steve. “OK, I got my marching orders. I'm writing a book, and I've been told exactly what it is about. It's about people who have suffered physical or emotional pain, and gone beyond their own pain to help someone else. I need to interview them and write their stories.”

      From February through May I did preliminary research. I sent a short proposal to Danny Siegel, author, poet, and the king of finding community service heroes. He called me and told me he would help me. God bless Danny Siegel. He told me about Bea Salazar. I interviewed Bea and wrote and rewrote her story. In July I knew I needed a professional writer to make this work.

      It had always been a dream of mine to write a book, but I decided this idea was too righteous to waste time on learning how to write. I thought about calling Janis Dworkis, an acquaintance and local writer, but I really was not sure. Then one day I opened the phone book, and the header on the right-hand page said “Dworkis.” I smiled and immediately called her.

      Janis came on board July 20, the day before my birthday. I never liked celebrating my birthday. But, this year I had reason to celebrate. I was living with purpose.

      I interviewed Jonni McCuin and Ben Beltzer. We wrote their stories and finished the proposal. We mailed it to three publishers in October. Three weeks later Mary Jane Ryan called from Conari Press. She told me they wanted to publish our book.

      After crying—and trying to sound somewhat coherent—I hung up the phone and sat very still. I thanked God for the miracle, for giving me this incredible gift to share with the world. I laughed at the synchronicity—of course the publisher would be the same group that published all of the Random Acts of Kindness™ books.

      From October to December I interviewed all thirty people, and Janis and I wrote their stories. Each day, as I spoke with the folks we profiled here, I learned a new lesson. Their strength, kindness, and inspiration fed my soul. They gave me the energy to finish an entire manuscript within weeks.

      Meeting thirty new friends who have endured incredible pain, yet are reaching out and helping so many others, reminds me daily of the miracles of life.

      Recently I found a newspaper clipping featuring me as a child with two other children. It was in the Dallas Times Herald, in 1956.I was four years old. The caption reads, “Socks Away—three tiny members of Temple Emanu-El sort through 563 pairs of socks they and fellow church school members have collected for the City-County Department of Public Welfare to give needy youngsters at Christmas. The children gave socks to the program in place of exchanging Chanukah gifts among themselves.”

      I cried looking at the joy and love in my little face. At four years old, I had known the peace and joy of service to others. But for so many years, I had forgotten the truth of that little girl. I cried tears of gratitude for the gift of remembering who I really am.

      I cried for the miracle of life, for the chance I and we all have been given to offer our unique gifts to the world, gifts born, so often, from our very woundedness.

      So now, I invite you to meet my thirty new friends. These are special people—all of whom continue to teach me a lesson I had once known long ago, but had forgotten. These wonderful people have the courage we all need, the courage to see beyond. The admiration and love I feel in my heart for each of them will stay with me always. Their stories have changed me, as I hope they will change you.

      I thank God for showing me the way. And I thank these people for revealing their stories to all of us.

      CHAPTER1

       Be Happy, Be Useful

      BEA SALAZAR

      THERE WAS A TIME IN MY LIFE when I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I just didn't think I could go on. I spent every day and every night thinking about my pain and how useless my life had become.

      Then one morning, I found a little boy in a Dumpster. And the minute I saw him, I realized that there were children whose pain was much greater than my own. God led me to find that child, and to find all the children I've worked with since that day. In working to help those children, my own pain has been diminished. And my life has become a tremendous joy._____________________

      Until 1986, I was “Super Mom.” I was a single mother of five children—my husband left us when my youngest was two years old—and I worked very hard to do everything I could for them. My three boys were in high school playing football that year, and my two girls were on the drill team. Life wasn't easy, but my children were doing well, and I was paying the bills. So I considered myself lucky.

      I worked the night shift in a factory during those years. I got off work at 7 A.M., and I'd try to get home as fast as I could to see the kids as they were leaving for school. I was so tired that I usually left work with my eyes half-closed. I would undo my bra and take off my shoes in the car. After I said good-bye to the kids, I would nap until three o'clock.

      After school, I would pick up the kids, make dinner, feed everyone, and make sure they did their homework. And then I went back to work at 11 P.M.

      One day, all that fatigue caught up with me—and my life changed forever. I stood up on a stool at work to change a part in one of the huge machines. But my foot slipped, the stool gave way, and I fell right into the machine. I felt a shooting pain from my groin up to my eyes. Then everything just went black. When I woke up, I couldn't put my legs together. Blood was everywhere. I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

      The doctors told me I had a separated pelvis and two slipped discs. All I knew was that I was in such horrible pain—suffering that I don't wish on anybody. I had surgery that was supposed to help. But it didn't seem to do much good. I was in constant, terrible agony.

      After the accident, I tried to go back to work because we needed the money so badly, but the pain was too severe. I was supposed to get money from the factory's insurance company, but that was tied up for a long time. We almost lost our apartment and our car. My children wanted to drop out of school СКАЧАТЬ