Keep Pain in the Past. Dr. Chris Cortman

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      “Are you at peace with everything that has ever happened to you?” I asked my waitress, wanting to satisfy my curiosity about how someone outside a clinical setting might respond. “Are you living completely in the present, looking forward?”

      “Wow, I thought when you said you had a couple of questions, you were going to ask if you could replace the fries with soup without paying extra,” said the server. “But to answer your questions, no, I’m not over my past, is anyone? And for what it’s worth, it’s an extra dollar to replace the fries with today’s soup of the day, chicken noodle.”

      Now ask yourself the same question (about your life, not the soup). Have you put the painful events and traumas of your life into a healthy place? Are you free of regret, resentment, and painful, intrusive memories? If you answered yes, you can stop reading right now. You don’t need this book, since you’re living a fully realized, highly successful life in the here and now.

      Most people, though, aren’t in this enviable position. Your life is compromised in some way by a trauma from your past. You may not be conscious of it, but that trauma weighs on your like an anchor, dragging down your career, your relationships, and your life. That’s the bad news. The good news is that regardless of what you have experienced, you can take your pain in the past, process and digest it, find meaning in your suffering, and champion the trauma, once and for all.

      A case in point is Jim, one of my clients. Jim is an extreme case—I hope that whatever bad things have happened in your life are nowhere near as bad as what happened to Jim. He was suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and I must warn you that his story is disturbing.

      Your particular pain in the past may not be as extreme, but all emotional trauma has similar symptoms. Using Jim’s story, I will highlight the common trauma symptoms and how they can ravage a life if not treated properly. Also, I aim to provide you with hope: if Jim can be treated effectively, anyone can be.

      After telling Jim’s story, I’ll provide some questions that will help you think about your own therapeutic experiences related to what Jim experienced. Then, I’ll examine six different perspectives (five scientific and one religious) that have contributed to my understanding of how to treat trauma successfully. Finally, I’ll compare what I believe to be unhelpful treatments with my approach.

      An Evolving Tragedy