Stop Eating Your Heart Out. Meryl Hershey Beck

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СКАЧАТЬ and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

      Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out

      Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

      My journey to health, my life without compulsive overeating, began with Twelve-Step Recovery, which combines spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical recovery. If you are struggling with food, I urge you to check out a few of the meetings.

      Some people balk because of the mention of God in the steps—but please don't let that deter you. People of all religions, as wells as agnostics and atheists, have benefitted from these fellowships. Overeaters Anonymous (OA) was the first, and many others have sprung up. Below is a list of some of them. For descriptions, go to the Resources section at the end of the book.

      Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous (ABA)

      www.aba12steps.org

      Compulsive Eaters Anonymous-HOW (CEA-HOW)

      www.ceahow.org

      Eating Addictions Anonymous (EAA) www.eatingaddictionsanonymous.org

      Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA)

      www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org

      Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA)

      www.foodaddictsanonymous.org

      Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA)

      www.foodaddicts.org

      GreySheeters Anonymous (GSA)

      www.greysheet.org

      Overeaters Anonymous (OA)

      www.oa.org

      Since the Twelve-Step approach does not appeal to everyone, you might choose to find your support elsewhere, and that's fine. Search online or ask trusted friends and healthcare professionals for self-help groups near you and for other resources. Online chat rooms and forums can be particularly helpful because they are always “open.” Someone is always listening and trying to help. Here are a few online sources to get you started:

      www.MentorConnect-ed.org is designed to replace eating disorders with relationships. It is the first global online mentoring community which provides one-on-one matches for individuals seeking recovery.

      www.EatingDisorderRecovery.com, an extensive website containing articles that support, inform, and encourage recovery, was created by Joanna Poppink, psychotherapist and author of Healing Your Hungry Heart.

      www.BEDAonline.org provides individuals who suffer from binge eating disorder with resources to begin a safe journey toward a healthy recovery.

      www.HealthyGirl.org is an online support site for girls and young women who binge or emotionally overeat.

      www.Something-Fishy.org is dedicated to raising awareness and providing support for people with eating disorders and has a directory of treatment providers and support groups.

      www.NationalEatingDisorders.org offers support groups, advice, and referrals.

      Another option is to join a group that offers general support for expressing yourself honestly and receiving empathy. The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) provides such groups. Nonviolent communication (NVC), which can also be understood as compassionate communication, was originally developed in the 1960s by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, an American psychologist. It is a process of communication based on transforming our judgments into feelings and needs. During NVC classes and seminars, students discover how to give compassionate responses to themselves and others based on the feelings and needs beneath the words.

      For those of us who have berated ourselves for years, NVC is an excellent way to learn to be more empathetic. When I studied NVC, I found the process of self-empathy very challenging at first. I couldn't forgive myself for having what I saw as gargantuan warts. It took a lot of practice for me to become gentle and forgiving of myself, but I eventually noticed that calling myself stupid had (mostly) stopped. Now, when I goof up, I call myself silly. Unlike the word stupid, the word silly is light and almost humorous, and hearing it doesn't feel like I've been punched in the gut. Rather than seeing my human foibles as so darn serious, silly allows me to lighten up and even laugh at myself from time to time.

      Finding supportive people or a support group meets our very important need to belong. Lynne McTaggart discusses this crucial need in her book The Bond:

      The need to move beyond the boundaries of ourselves as individuals and to bond with a group is so primordial and necessary to human beings that it remains the key determinant of whether we remain healthy or get ill, even whether we live or die. It is more vital to us than any diet or exercise program. The Bond we make with a group is the most fundamental need we have because it generates our most authentic state of being.

      Assignment

      Start investigating various Twelve-Step groups. Find meetings in your area, and make a commitment to yourself to attend at least one meeting within the next week. The feeling of belonging might not happen immediately—I often heard others say they felt as if they were home at their first meeting, but I had to attend many, many meetings before I began to feel connected to the group—but it's worth your while to try.

      If you have already been exposed to Twelve-Step Recovery and decided it is not right for you, then be sure to check out other possible self-help or support groups. In addition, begin identifying people with whom you can allow yourself to be vulnerable, sharing the real you. Find a buddy with whom you check in every day. Since creating a strong support system takes time, it is wise to begin the process today.

      Day

Self-Care

      In addition to creating a support system of caring people around you, it is time to stop being your own worst enemy and begin to become your own best friend. Let's start with ways you can take better care of yourself. As a psychotherapist, I see time and time again the adverse effects of my clients' lack of self-care. In general, women have been conditioned to СКАЧАТЬ