Undercover: The Adventures of a Real Life Gigolo. Luke Bradbury

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СКАЧАТЬ Luke, we’re officially launched. Can you believe it?’

      I smiled and nodded. We high-fived.

      Rob called after I’d finished at the café the following evening and was putting together my dinner. I could hear pub clatter in the background and hoped he wasn’t soaking up too much Dutch courage before his assignment.

      ‘Luke, I’m not sure about this. I don’t know if I can go through with it.’

       Don’t get cold feet on me, Rob.

      ‘Don’t worry about it. Think of it like any other date. You meet, have a drink, you go back to her place…’

      I picked at the peeling wallpaper around the phone. A previous tenant had used the plaster to jot down numbers that I sometimes wondered if I should call just for the hell of it.

      ‘Yeah, but I fancy my dates,’ Rob flung back. ‘What if I don’t fancy her?’

      ‘Well, that’s where the dosh comes in. Just think about the money!’

      I thought of nervous Jenny wanting someone who’d treat her well, who wouldn’t ride roughshod over her. No, it wasn’t just about the money.

      ‘Look, Rob, everyone gets nervous their first time. Of course they do. She’ll be just as anxious. Take it easy.’

      A slither of wallpaper came away in my hand, and I let it fall to the floor.

      ‘Did you get nervous, Luke? What was it like?’

      I gulped. He had no idea he was the first of any of us to test out our escort scheme.

      I evaded the question. On the carpet beneath the phone was a growing pile of peelings that needed a good vacuum. If we’d had a vacuum cleaner.

      ‘It’s different for everyone. You’ve got to go out there and make your own mark. Be every woman’s dream!’

      ‘Yeah, right,’ said Rob, not sounding at all confident.

      ‘You know what to do, of course you do. You’re used to scoring, yeah? Just be a bit more of a gentleman when you go about it.’ On second thoughts: ‘Unless of course she requests otherwise.’

      There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. That was better.

      ‘Okay, okay.’

      ‘Don’t worry. You’ll be fine,’ I reassured him. ‘Just be careful you don’t drink too much beforehand. You want to make a good impression.’

      ‘Will do.’

      ‘And I want to hear all about it afterwards. Now, go forth and enjoy yourself.’

      When he called back around ten thirty, Rob was clearly back in the pub. He sounded as if he’d won the Lottery.

      ‘Easiest hundred and fifty quid I ever fucking made,’ he shouted over the bar hubbub.

      ‘Told you you’d be fine,’ I laughed, caught up in his high spirits.

      ‘Nah, you’ll never believe it. She didn’t want to go through with it.’

      ‘No!’ I was gob-smacked.

      ‘You bet. We met at Dunkin Donuts, like you said. Off Piccadilly. And it lasted about forty minutes and we just had a cup of coffee. And that was it. We never even reached the hotel. And she still paid me!’

       The jammy bastard.

      ‘If it’s that fucking easy, send me out to every woman you get,’ he burbled.

      ‘If it’s that fucking easy, Rob, I’ll keep them all to myself.’

      Jenny called the following week. The only call we received. We weren’t about to make a living out of this game just yet. Nor escape my shifts at the café and the pub anytime soon.

      ‘Hello, Luke, it’s Jenny.’

      My mind went blank for a second. Jenny? I’d been so rushed off my feet with the waiting this week I’d almost forgotten about our advert. But then it all flooded back, and I went into receptionist mode straight away.

      ‘Hello, Jenny, it’s lovely to hear from you. Rob told me he enjoyed meeting you last week.’

       Didn’t he just.

      ‘He was very nice.’

      ‘See, I told you I’d give you a pleasant surprise,’ I boasted.

      ‘Yes, thank you. Um…’

      There was an awkward silence. I jumped in feet first. This was a business we were running, after all.

      ‘Is there anything we can do for you? Perhaps you’d like to see him again?’

      When she spoke next, her voice was halting and quiet:

      ‘The thing is, Luke, I’d like to meet you.’

      You fucking bet. Rob’s just made one hundred and fifty quid. Count me in.

      ‘Is that allowed?’

      This time I was ready. But first I had to cover myself so Jenny didn’t start wondering why the last time she called I was just the receptionist.

      ‘Well, Jenny, as it happens, we do have a policy when there’s a run on the boys.’ Like heck we do. ‘We’d hate to leave any of our clients waiting.’

      ‘So we can meet?’ There was a hopeful girlishness to her voice.

      ‘Certainly, Jenny.’

      I began mentally spending the money on some decent jeans, a couple of CDs, and putting something towards the phone bill. The calls back home cost a bomb. And she’d even be paying for the coffee!

      ‘Oh, I’m so glad. Because this time I want to go through with it. I want you to make love to me, Luke.’

      There was a screech of brakes in my head.

       Just my fucking luck.

      ‘When would you like me to visit? And if I could take your address,’ I asked, through gritted teeth I hoped she couldn’t detect.

      I scribbled down her details, said goodbye and hung up.

      Yep, we were officially launched, Mark. Well and truly fucking launched…

       Jenny

       Late August

      I caught my reflection in the tube window СКАЧАТЬ