Blackbird. N.D. Gomes

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ he’d been waiting for me right behind the door.

      He opens his mouth to say something but I get there first. ‘Is she here?’ I ask, glancing over his shoulder. The TV flickers behind him, crackling against the wall in the hallway.

      ‘Alex, she’s not here. I haven’t seen her.’

      ‘Are you lying? Are you trying to cover for her? If you are that’s fine, just tell her to come home.’

      He steps out from the doorway and rests against the edge of the frame. Dark circles have formed around his eyes and his skin is a little paler than usual. ‘Look, I really don’t think it’s anything to worry about.’

      ‘Are you kidding? She’s going to be in so much trouble. The police are involved now.’

      ‘I know. They just came to see me.’ He pushes his hands into his jeans pockets and looks out past me, towards the street or the ocean beyond me.

      ‘And?’

      ‘And I told them the same thing. She’s not here.’

      A large sigh escapes my lungs and I tuck my chin to my chest a little. I had been hoping that she was here, hoping that James would know where she was so we could end all of this. But he knows as little as me. ‘Well, when was the last time you saw her? At the party?’

      ‘What party?’ He shrugs.

      ‘Euan’s party.’

      ‘How do you know about that?’

      ‘She tells me everything. I know she wasn’t watching a movie at Emily’s house. She went to a party at Euan’s house over by Binscarth Farm.’

      He digs his hands in deeper into his pockets and smiles slightly, the corners twisting up but not in a way that I find familiar or comforting. ‘She tells you everything, does she?’

      ‘Yes . . . I think so.’

      ‘Well, did she tell you we broke up?’

      ‘What?’

      ‘I guess she doesn’t tell you everything.’

      ‘This isn’t a joke. This is a waste of police time. She could be charged or something, I don’t know.’

      ‘I’m telling you the truth. We broke up. I wasn’t at that party because I knew she was going. I did my own thing, hung out with the boys from the football club.’

      ‘Why did you break up?’

      He frowns, tiny lines forming across his forehead.

      I can’t imagine them not together. They’re all I remember. The two of them and Emily have been friends for so much of her – and my – life. Was this because of London? Had they argued about her moving there? Had he refused to go, or asked her to stay?

      ‘You’ll have to ask her. I would like to know myself.’

      He looks uncomfortable, his fingers fidgeting in his pockets. I don’t know what else to say to him. I came here looking for Olivia, but all I’ve done is remind him of a time he seems to want to forget.

      ‘Um, well if you do know where she is, please get this message to her. She needs to come home. I doubt she’ll be in much trouble now. If she waits too long, she might be.’

      ‘Like I said, I don’t know where she is.’ He steps back and slowly closes the front door, leaving me all alone on the step.

      I turn around and walk down the driveway, glancing back at the house to see if there is any movement behind the curtains. She would have come out if she was there and heard my voice. She’d know everyone was worried about her.

      I don’t think she’s here.

      I gaze down the street and wonder if she walked here recently. Why would they break up? And why would she not tell me about it? I’m her sister. We tell each other everything, or at least I thought we were supposed to.

      Maybe she told her best friend instead. I need to talk to Emily. She’d know where Olivia was. She has to; someone has to.

      I lightly jog down to the bus stop at the bottom of the road, and check the timetable. My dad’s face enters my mind and I can’t stop thinking about the look on it when he told me we’d find Olivia soon. He looked like he didn’t believe his own words.

      The ache comes back, it’s dull at first then starts getting stronger. My hand grips the metal edge of the bus shelter as I try to steady myself.

      We’ll find her.

      We’ll find her.

      The bus pulls up loudly behind me and screeches to a halt. I close my eyes tight, and take a slow deep breath.

      One foot at a time. That’s all I have to focus on.

      The doors swing open. ‘Oi, are you getting on or what? I don’t have all day.’

      My fingers loosen their grip on the shelter side and I push off slightly to turn around. ‘Yeah, sorry.’

      Fumbling around for change in my coat pocket, I briefly glance up to meet the driver’s eyes. He startles for a moment then straightens up his back slightly. ‘So sorry, I . . . I didn’t see who you were. I’m really sorry for your family’s loss.’

      ‘My sister’s not dead,’ I say, my tone sharper than I’d intended. But she’s not dead. She’s missing, so please don’t call it a loss. We haven’t lost her. We just can’t find her right now.

      ‘Right, sorry. Where are you off to?’

      ‘I need to get to Kirbister Road.’

      ‘I actually don’t stop there, this is a number eight. I only go to Guardhouse Park . . . but I’m almost at the end of my shift, and the bus is empty. I’ll take you.’

      ‘Thank you,’ I say quietly, pulling out silver fifty-pence pieces from my pocket.

      ‘Don’t worry about the fare this time.’

      I shuffle to the middle of the bus, and collapse down into a navy cushioned seat. My fingers grip the yellow standing bar, again to steady myself.

      The loch is on my right, as we head north up the A965. When I look up front, I see the driver’s eyes in the rear mirror. But he’s not looking at the cars behind us, because there aren’t any. He’s looking at me. He must recognize me from the local newspapers. We’re all in there, the whole family. Our faces and names splashed all over the front, for the whole world to speculate. How did they act so fast? What do they want from us?

      Shivering, I turn my body a little towards the window and gaze out. If she’s not at Emily’s, I don’t know where to go after that, what to do. We’re in the newspapers, we’re on the news – if she’s out there, she would see how this is getting out of hand.

       Olivia, where are you?

       СКАЧАТЬ