Why We Lie: The Source of our Disasters. Dorothy Rowe

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      By carrying out the task of loading the bags of cement Gyuri was trying to demonstrate to the guard the equivalent of ‘It didn’t hurt’, and thus preserve his sense of being a person. However, when we protect ourselves against a massive assault, we use up many of the strengths we have to defend ourselves. If the assaults are infrequent, we have time to replenish our strengths, but, if the assault is particularly brutal, or, if the assaults occur frequently as they do from parents who use physical punishments as the prime form of discipline, we might not be able to restore our sense of being a person to its former strength and cohesion. Like Gyuri, we can lose our ability to view our future hopefully. From then on, each day cannot be enjoyed but has to be endured. Alternatively, we can adopt a position of constant defiance, and each day, whatever the situation, every authority however benign has to be defied and fought. These two outcomes are found in the long-term studies of children whose parents used physical punishment. Some of these children, mostly girls, go on to become depressed, while others, mostly boys, become too wild and aggressive to be contained within society.¹²

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