When Polly Met Olly: A fantastically uplifting romantic comedy for 2019!. Zoe May

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СКАЧАТЬ he does tick a lot of boxes too. If he’d just been gorgeous, but didn’t happen to have a good job, a similar lifestyle and whatever else, then perhaps we wouldn’t have lasted as long as we have. These check boxes are important when it comes to long-term relationships and not just flings. That’s your problem, Polly, you just want the cute exhilarating moment when your eyes lock with someone across a crowded room. You want electricity and excitement. But attraction fades. You need someone who’s actually compatible or otherwise things will keep fizzling out after a few weeks.’ Gabe finishes his drink. ‘Want another?’ he suggests.

      I look down at my glass, which is two thirds empty. ‘Sure.’

      Gabe gets up and heads over to the bar, leaving me to mull over his words. Although he’s being a bit unfair when he says my relationships only last weeks (one lasted three months!), he is kind of right. I do tend to focus on romantic sparks, probably at the expense of compatibility. I like the magic of fancying someone, when you first meet someone new and they just seem like the best person in the world. I love flirting, going on dates and building up to the first kiss. I adore the thrill of getting intimate with someone I’m really drawn to – the chemistry of not being able to keep your hands off each other. I love it when everything’s sparkly and new. In fact, Gabe’s right, I’m a honeymoon-phase addict. I’m pretty good at finding people I fancy, but things always do go downhill when I realise that the person I found utterly gorgeous and charming actually has intolerable flaws. Like my last sort-of boyfriend, Aaron. We were together for two months, the sex was amazing and we’d have these awesome cosy nights cooking for each other and going for walks holding hands through the city. It was so romantic until one day, we were walking hand-in-hand through Central Park when a cute little dog ran up to us. I was about to kneel down to pet him when Aaron kicked him away, like he was a pest. I couldn’t believe it! All this time, I’d been dating a guy who thought it was acceptable to kick dogs. I never saw him again after that.

      Then there was Luke – an Australian chef – who seemed like a great catch. He was tall, attractive and smart, and we got along great until he made a few passing comments that just didn’t sit right. He got sick and ended up needing his appendix removed. He forked out for a senior surgeon. I assumed it was for the extra expertise, but he admitted that he ‘felt more comfortable in the hands of a man’. I told him to go find the hands of a man because this woman was done.

      Actually, maybe Gabe’s right. Maybe successful relationships do only work if you’ve got a mental checklist of criteria and instead of being blinded by butterflies in your stomach and raw physical attraction, you start off by assessing your partner’s compatibility, rather than focusing on how pretty the city looks at night as you stroll hand-in-hand trying to pretend life is like a Hollywood movie.

      ‘What’s up?’ Gabe arrives back at the table holding a tray with a few more drinks and a couple of shots.

      ‘I was just thinking about what you said.’ I sigh as I pick up a drink, muttering thanks. ‘I suck at relationships.’

      ‘Well, your track record isn’t the best,’ Gabe agrees, as he places the tray down on the table. ‘But who am I to judge. After all, you’re the matchmaker, not me!’ He winks as he sits down.

      ‘Me, a matchmaker,’ I tut. It’s like you trying to be a…’ I look at Gabe’s skinny effete frame. ‘A bodybuilder.’

      Gabe smiles. ‘Bit harsh, but true Or you, trying to be a chartered surveyor!’ Gabe jokes. ‘By the way, did Olly buy it?’

      ‘I’m not sure,’ I admit as I reach for a shot.

      We clink our shot glasses together and then down them in one, before wincing.

      ‘Yuck!’ I comment.

      ‘Bleughh!’ Gabe pulls a face.

      His phone buzzes and he picks it up off the table.

      ‘Sanjay,’ he explains, opening a message. Sanjay was our boss, although he feels more like a pal, from The Eagle. Gabe sends a few messages while I sip my drink, trying to get rid of the taste of the shot.

      ‘Sanjay’s with Jim, shall I invite them?’ Gabe suggests. Jim’s another one of our old workmates.

      ‘Yeah, why not?’ I shrug as I take another sip of my drink.

      I haven’t seen Sanjay and Jim for a couple of months and it would be good to catch up. Jim works behind the bar. He’s been working at The Eagle for years, while freelancing as a web designer. He likes to go on about coding and programming languages but he’s a sweet mild-mannered guy with old-school gentlemanly values. Whenever we used to work together, he’d always serve the rowdy customers, sparing me the aggro when he could. Sanjay’s less mild-mannered. In fact, he’s incredibly boisterous, but he’s fun. He opened The Eagle. He owns a string of bars across New York and even though they’re not the classiest of establishments, he’s still super flash. He wears a Rolex and has an apartment overlooking Central Park, and though he’s incredibly ostentatious, he’s not stuck up at all. He’s one of the funniest warmest people I know.

      Gabe and I catch up on a bit of gossip, sipping our drinks, while we wait for Jim and Sanjay to arrive. The bar starts filling up with an after-work crowd and someone turns the music up. The atmosphere is actually pretty good for 7 p.m. on a Wednesday night and I can tell by the way Gabe is looking curiously around the bar – taking in the flash punters that have also chosen this place over the pretentious bars down the road – that he’s beginning to reassess his view of Milano’s. It beats those poncey city bars hands down, and I can practically see him making a mental note to come here again.

      ‘What’s up party people!?’ Sanjay bellows as he approaches our table. A few other drinkers turn to look as he barrels over, embracing us in big hugs. Jim trails behind a little sheepishly.

      It turns out Sanjay is in such high spirits because he’s just snapped up a disused bar in a property auction and has big plans to renovate it and make a fortune.

      ‘Let’s celebrate! Drinks are on me!’ he announces, before heading to the bar to get a round.

      Jim fills us in on some news from The Eagle.

      ‘A new guy came in for a singing audition today,’ he says, causing Gabe’s ears to prick up.

      ‘A new guy?’ Gabe asks.

      ‘Yeah. He’s a George Michael lookalike. Spitting image. And he sounds the same too.’

      ‘What?! But we do drag queens at The Eagle, not lookalikes,’ Gabe huffs, clearly not impressed with the idea of having the spotlight on someone else.

      ‘I don’t think that’s set in stone!’ Jim says. ‘It’s just kind of happened that way that it tends to be drag queens that perform. Sanjay doesn’t seem opposed to having lookalikes, or cover artists as they prefer to be known.’

      ‘Cover artists?!’ Gabe sneers, knocking back the last of his drink. ‘What is The Eagle? A cruise ship?’

      Jim shrugs, looking a little awkward. Unlike me, he doesn’t quite understand how protective Gabe gets about The Eagle. Gabe loves singing there. It’s his only creative outlet these days and I think he sees it as his place with his fans. He’s already sidelined his singing ambitions enough, the last thing he needs is to get sidelined at The Eagle too.

      Fortunately, Sanjay arrives back at the table with our drinks. He’s carrying a tray loaded, СКАЧАТЬ