A Kiss Too Late. Ellen James

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ fascination and rebellion in her. It had made for a volatile combination.

      “Oh, yes, I remember,” she murmured. “But you never understood–”

      “I knew what was going on. I’m not dense, Jenny.”

      Jenny. It had been his own private name for her, a name that no one else had ever used. It seemed to have slipped out just now almost against his will. He stared straight ahead, not saying anything more. Jen stared straight ahead, too. The silence was potent, filled with all the unspoken recriminations and misunderstandings between them.

      Jen made an effort to concentrate on the scenery. After a short while they left the crowded downtown streets behind and began driving along the ocean. A few people were out with their fishing poles, and gulls sunned themselves on the rocks. Out on the water, sailboats skimmed easily along. Jen wished she could enjoy the relaxed view, but she was only growing more keyed up in Adam’s company. And clearly he was determined to have his say. He pulled off the road and onto a point that overlooked the water. Waves surged against the rocks below, the ocean restless. Adam seemed restless, as well. He swung out of the car as if too impatient to sit still any longer.

      Jen climbed out, too, and went to stand a short distance from him. Offshore, a tall ship rode the swells. It was a big, four-masted schooner at full sail, a ship that could have materialized straight from the nineteenth century–the past merging into the present on this lazy summer afternoon.

      At last Jen glanced over at Adam. “If you’re going to talk about the other night, please don’t. We both had too much to drink, that’s all. We got carried away.”

      The breeze ruffled Adam’s hair until it was no longer so impeccably groomed. His voice was gruff when he spoke.

      “I had a lot more I wanted to tell you that night. I didn’t get a chance. The fact is, you’ve been trying to avoid me this past year, Jen. And you’ve also been avoiding your family. That isn’t right. They need you, and you can’t go on letting them down.”

      Jen stared at him. “That’s what you wanted to tell me? You wanted to give me a lecture on my family? I suppose I should’ve known.” She kicked a small stone. “And I’m not hiding out in New York, trying to avoid you. I’m simply leading my own life. A good, happy life, by the way.” She stopped. Why did she feel so defensive around Adam? Why was she trying to justify herself to him?

      His features were set in the hard, uncompromising lines so familiar to her. “A good life?” he echoed skeptically. “Don’t forget, Jen, I’ve seen your apartment. I don’t know what the hell you’re doing in New York, but that’s not the point. New York’s only a couple of hours away. You’ve been acting like it’s in another country, always making excuses why you can’t come home. And that is hurting your family. All I’m trying to tell you is–don’t do it on my account. You can start coming home again.”

      She made an attempt at laughter. “Now you’re giving me permission to return. I guess you never really understood me or why I left you. And obviously you still don’t understand.”

      “Explain it to me, then. Let’s straighten this out once and for all.”

      Anger churned inside her. This was typical Adam Prescott–behaving as if she was someone he had to bring into line.

      “I tried to explain it to you, Adam. A hundred times I tried. But you never listened.”

      They stood facing each other on the rocky outcropping, the waves splashing unheeded below. Adam jammed his hands into his pockets.

      “This is about the newspaper,” he said, “isn’t it? You always resented how much time I put into it.”

      She made a gesture of futility. They’d been apart all this time, and still it seemed their arguments were destined to follow the same path.

      “Adam, I knew from the beginning how important the Standard was to you. That wasn’t the real problem.” It dismayed her how fresh her memories were–how readily she recalled the pain and disappointment of trying to get through to Adam. During their marriage she’d been like someone pounding and pounding on a door, never to have it opened, never to know what was on the other side. How ironic. Living with Adam so many years, but never being allowed to know his private thoughts or emotions. She’d begun to wonder if she knew her own husband at all.

      She still didn’t really know him. Even now, his expression grew shuttered. “I gave you everything I could, Jen. Everything I had to give.”

      “It wasn’t enough.” She heard the edge of bitterness in her own voice. “Let’s not start this all over,” she said quickly. “I’m here for my mother’s wedding, and that’s the only thing that matters.”

      Adam studied her. “Don’t let another year go by before you visit your family again.”

      “I don’t know what’s going to happen after this,” she said, perhaps too sharply. “I’ll just have to see how it goes with my great-uncles and with my mother. As for you and me, Adam…well, let’s not have any more…unfortunate episodes.”

      “I call it lovemaking.” His tone was final, yet he looked dissatisfied. He gazed at Jen a moment longer, frowning slightly. Her own gaze lingered involuntarily on the bold, expressive contours of his face. A week ago he had reawakened the passion between them, and now the familiar desire stirred in her again. She still wanted him. She still longed for his touch. Hadn’t she learned anything–anything at all?

      She turned away and was relieved when he went back to the car and pulled open the passenger door for her. She slid into her seat, and a moment later they were on the road.

      “I’m surprised you haven’t remarried,” she said when the silence grew awkward. “You wanted children, after all.” Jen paused for only a second. The issue of children had been one of the major sore spots in their marriage, and she felt it best to skim over the subject. “Anyway, these days it seems there’s always a story about you in the society columns, and a picture of you with some new woman.”

      He drove the car smoothly along the winding ocean road. “I didn’t know you read the social pages,” he remarked.

      “I don’t read them. It’s just that you can’t help glancing at a picture of someone you know. Besides, you give the gossips a great deal to talk about.”

      “You believe the stories, Jen?”

      “I believe the photographs.” She stared out the windshield, refusing to mention the jealousy that twisted through her every time she saw a picture of Adam escorting yet another lovely socialite. “The women you choose, they’re gorgeous,” she said in an offhand manner. “Apparently you didn’t waste any time after I was gone.”

      “You made it clear you wanted nothing more to do with me. You’re still making that clear–even after I shared your bed.”

      Dammit, why couldn’t they stop talking about that…incident? Jen feared her relationship with Adam was like a package she kept trying to wrap up and put away, only the paper kept tearing and the string kept coming untied. It certainly didn’t help to be sitting beside him like this, his closeness almost taunting.

      Adam turned off the road and stopped the car in front of the heavy iron gates that guarded Jen’s childhood home. She frowned at them. She’d always detested these gates, convinced they’d been meant more СКАЧАТЬ