Hero At Large. Robyn Amos

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СКАЧАТЬ engine. In all the years he’d been an agent, he’d always managed to resist the urge to check into Rennie’s whereabouts. He’d squashed that compulsion by reminding himself that he was better off not knowing any details.

      But now that he’d seen her face to face and looked into those soft brown eyes, he had to know the full story. She was a psychologist. That didn’t surprise him. She’d always had a huge heart and a deep concern for others.

      In less than ten seconds, Gray had a full-page printout on Rennie. He stared at the sheet of paper, then crumpled it up and threw it in the wastebasket.

      What was he doing? He couldn’t see her again. Especially not now. In her mind he was a criminal. A former gang member who had lived up to all of society’s expectations for him. He’d moved from a life of street violence to the ever-popular country club of crime, the state penitentiary.

      She had no idea that her leaving him was probably the only thing that saved him from that inevitable reality. Rennie couldn’t know that she’d inspired him to escape, as well, to flee their destitute neighborhood of hopelessness and poverty just the way she had.

      When Rennie left for school, he’d been bitter. Hadn’t she trusted him? Hadn’t she believed him when he’d promised to find a way out for both of them? Gray had asked himself those questions time and again. But the feelings of hurt and anger hadn’t lasted. Once they’d faded, Gray had been left with an almost desperate desire to prove that he could get out, too.

      Soon after Rennie left, Gray’s mother had been taken by the cancer that had been eating away at her life and spirit for almost a decade. He had no more ties in the neighborhood. He no longer had an excuse for staying with the gang. After a couple of months of aimless wandering, he joined the United States Marines.

      That move changed his life forever. He’d shown a natural talent for most things he’d tried. And it wasn’t long before his intelligence and skills had gotten him noticed by an exclusive, invisible government agency, SPEAR. He passed their rigorous testing process and was recruited.

      He was a secret agent with boyhood images of fighting terrorists and busting up political conspiracies. Only Gray’s first assignment had sent him right back to the streets of south central L.A.

      He jumped right into the middle of an illegal arms dealing operation, got the authorities all the information they needed and then was publicly arrested right along with the others. He spent two weeks in jail to solidify his cover and then was shipped off to his next assignment.

      But those two weeks in jail changed him like no other life experience could. The world he became privy to in that short time made him all the more determined to keep fighting what seemed to be a never-ending war against crime. It chilled him to his soul, because if it weren’t for the grace of God, he might have filled those shoes in reality. The fact that he was inside for the good guys made that truth all the more poignant.

      Growing up, he’d heard all the speeches from the ministers and do-gooders in the community. They especially loved the sound bite that black men in the inner city were an endangered species. In danger of succumbing to gangs, crime, violence, prison and ultimately death because society didn’t have enough good role models for the urban black male.

      That line never meant much to Gray until he went to prison, but then he got a close look at what society had discarded. Men who’d never had any hope or belief that they could be anything more than what they were. And in just two weeks’ time, even though he was in jail under pretense, he began to get sucked into that world of hopelessness. He’d felt the black hand of despair reaching out to him. It had had him by the collar and would have had him by the throat if he hadn’t been transferred so quickly.

      Even though his next assignment had him drinking champagne at political dinners as an African diplomat trying to smooth over a potential international incident, he never forgot what it felt like to be in prison. It was a lesson he used daily to remind himself that there was no room in his life for screwups.

      When Rennie left L.A. nine years ago, the chances of her returning permanently had been slim at best. But after receiving her Ph.D. in psychology, Rennie surprised herself by turning down a teaching position at the University of Texas for an opportunity to set up her own practice. And it just happened to be six blocks from her old neighborhood.

      The Los Angeles Help Center was a three-story apartment building that had been turned over to the community. Inside were offices offering a variety of social services, including family planning, addiction and crisis counseling and Rennie’s women’s counseling practice. The Help Center attracted some difficult clients, but during the past year, she’d found the work truly rewarding.

      Rennie sank further into her wing chair as Sarita and the other women in her counseling session argued. The clock on the far wall read twenty past four. She should have broken up this heated disagreement a long time ago, but she’d been a bit distracted today.

      “I don’t care what you say,” Sarita said. “Farah is not breaking up with Will. She’s just taking time to figure out what she wants.”

      Jackie crossed her heavy arms over her substantial bosom. “Will is history. Get used to it. Now that Farah knows her daughter Lily is having Will’s baby, there’s no way she’s going to take him back.” Even under the best circumstances, Jackie didn’t have a forgiving nature. This was probably the reason men feared her.

      “Well, I think it’s about time she got rid of that bum,” Moni said. “Everyone can see that Brock is in love with Farah. Once he recovers from his liver transplant, he’s going to tell her how he feels.” Moni had always believed that love conquered all, which explained why she focused her energy on keeping a man instead of keeping a job.

      “Good luck,” Carla said, ever the pessimist. “I’ll bet you an entire case of snack cakes that Brock is dead before the end of the week.”

      “Okay, okay.” Rennie held up two fingers. “That’s enough commentary on ‘To Love and to Cherish.’ Doesn’t anyone have any real issues to discuss today?”

      Rennie let her gaze rest on each of the four women in turn. Silence. “What about you, Carla? What’s on your mind?”

      Instead of harping on her good-for-nothing husband, as expected, the petite blonde looked at the soda can in her hand. “If you want to know the truth, I really wish you’d keep more diet soda in the refrigerator. This is the second week in a row that I’ve had to drink regular.”

      Rennie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Carla, I’ve told you before that you’re free to bring whatever you want to keep in the fridge. I could go broke trying to cater to everyone’s snacking preferences. That said, I think there’s one more diet cola hidden in the vegetable crisper.”

      Carla let out a joyful squeal and headed to the kitchenette.

      “What about you, Jackie?” Rennie asked.

      “Hey, yeah. Carla, bring me an orange, will ya?”

      Rennie sighed. Normally she loved the apartment-style setup of her office. The comfortable sofas and overstuffed chairs usually helped her clients feel more relaxed. But there were times when the unconventional surroundings worked against her.

      In the beginning, Rennie had met with each woman individually, trying to work through the worst of their problems. Once their lives began to turn around, she brought them together, hoping the women could benefit from a support system of their peers.

      The СКАЧАТЬ