Daddy's Little Memento. Teresa Carpenter

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СКАЧАТЬ “What happened?”

      He went still, bracing himself against the show of sympathy, against the fresh wave of pain. “I don’t talk about it.”

      “Of course.” She took no exception, simply hugged him harder and said again, “I’m sorry.”

      Her unexpected compassion touched him deeply. Perhaps because she was the first person outside his family and Doug to express sorrow for his loss. Caught in a sudden maelstrom of emotions, he clenched his teeth to contain the constriction in his throat.

      Words were impossible. But he wasn’t ready to let her go. He lifted his right arm to hold her close, at the same time reaching for Gabe’s foot so he wouldn’t slip from his perch on Alex’s shoulders. Instead of Gabe’s sneaker, Alex’s hand closed over Samantha’s fingers. Even as she comforted him, she held his son safe.

      Something buried inside him clicked into place. Tightening his grip on the two of them, he closed his eyes and quietly mourned the loss of his baby girl, so tiny, so frail she hadn’t survived being born three months early.

      His six-year marriage hadn’t survived the tragedy. He’d been furious when his wife became pregnant against his wishes; but he’d gotten over it, supporting her through her pregnancy, even coming to love the child she carried.

      Finding out his baby had died because his wife hadn’t followed doctor’s orders killed any feelings he had for her. She’d pretended to give up smoking, yet continued behind his back. Then he learned the doctor had advised complete bed rest a month before she went into premature labor. She’d said nothing to him and continued to work, then cried buckets when she miscarried.

      He’d cried, too. But not in front of her. He’d cried alone.

      No, he hadn’t wanted children, but his biggest regret wasn’t that his ex-wife deliberately betrayed him by getting pregnant. It was that he never got to hold his daughter in his arms. She came and went without him ever touching her. Without her ever knowing how much her daddy loved her.

      His friends and neighbors had known he hadn’t wanted children, so his ex got all the sympathy. He was ignored, or worse, treated as if he were relieved. They’d made him feel he had no right to compassion, no right to grieve publicly. So he’d held it all inside.

      And promised himself he’d never father another child and risk this pain and loss again.

      Samantha pretty much hated his guts because of the custody issue, yet she recognized his pain and offered comfort unconditionally. What an amazing woman. He admired her courage and selflessness. For that reason he revealed more than he normally would.

      A cloud moved in front of the sun. The breeze turned chilly in an instant. And Gabe began to wiggle. He hit Alex on the top of the head. “Down man.”

      Samantha stepped back and looked up, first at him, gently gauging his emotional state, then with a nod and a rueful smile, she moved her gaze up to Gabe.

      “What’s wrong, little man, did we ignore you? Did the duckies swim away?” She retrieved the bag of bread crumbs from the ground where they’d fallen during the brief embrace and handed Gabe a palmful. “The duckies will come back.”

      “No duckies!” Gabe threw the bread crumbs down. The crumbs rained around Alex and Samantha, most of them lodging in Alex’s dark hair. But not for long. Gabe hit Alex on the head demanding to be let down, sending scratchy crumbs down his shirt collar. “Down man!”

      Alex happily complied.

      Samantha immediately swooped Gabe up and deposited him in his stroller parked near a picnic table on the grass. “Bad boy.” She admonished as she tucked the blankets around his legs. “You don’t hit.”

      “Bad man,” Gabe countered, sending Alex a teary-eyed glare. High pink spots heated his cheeks.

      “Good daddy,” she corrected, “he helped us feed the duckies.” Gabe began to cry. Samantha dug out a bottle for him then laid the seat back on the stroller. In seconds Gabe lay quietly sucking, eyes closed.

      “Sorry about that.” Samantha turned her attention to Alex, swiping at his shoulders and hair to help remove crumbs. “He tires easily when he’s teething.”

      “No harm,” Alex assured her. Unless she kept touching him. He could only stand so much petting before his body reacted like the red-blooded man he was.

      Soft hands caressing his chest and arms, long fingers running through his hair, the scent of honeysuckle and woman made it hard to think or to consider the other families occupying the park and sports center.

      He took one huge step back before reason completely deserted him and he laid her down on the grass right here and now. Bending at the waist, he shook his head in a pretense of getting rid of bread crumbs. In reality he needed the blood back in his head.

      Because watching her bend over the stroller, seeing her tend the fussy baby, feeling her hands on his body gave him some fanciful notions. Like maybe taking her home, as well as taking his son.

      When he stood up and the idea still held appeal, he realized he had something to consider.

      Samantha watched Alex take a seat at the picnic table. Sighing a mixture of frustration and relief, she joined him. Both of them sat facing the pond. If he hadn’t stepped away when he did, she’d have jumped him.

      Well, maybe not. Her restraint may have held. But she wouldn’t bet money on it. The man was hot. Steaming. And she’d gotten carried away with the feel of those hard muscles, broad shoulders, silky hair…Okay, stop.

      She waved a hand in front of her face, pretending to chase off a bug. When had the day turned so warm?

      “Have you been married?” he asked suddenly.

      “No,” she answered, the simple truth her second biggest regret. She wanted nothing more than a loving husband, children and a dog. A real family. Her family. “I was engaged once. It ended when my mother died, and I got custody of Sarah. My fiancé decided he was too young to be the father of a twelve year old.”

      His eyebrows lifted, and he assessed her from top to bottom and back again, lingering appreciatively on the valley and slopes of her hips and bust. She shifted restlessly, feeling the weight of his gaze as she would a caress.

      “Fool.” When he returned his attention to her face, desire showed in his eyes, but his voice held disbelief. “You don’t look old enough to have been Sarah’s guardian. She was twelve, how old were you?”

      Samantha took the question as a compliment though Sarah’s voluptuous curves always made her appear more mature than she’d actually been.

      “I’m thirty-one. I’d just turned nineteen when our mother died.”

      Behind narrowed eyes she saw him calculating ages and dates. The results hit him hard. “Lord, I’m thirty-six. She was little more than a child.”

      Samantha shook her head. “Sarah always rushed life as if she couldn’t get through it fast enough. She prided herself on looking older, acting older, pretending she was older. She hadn’t been a child in a long time.”

      He looked unconvinced.

      “She СКАЧАТЬ