A Hickory Ridge Christmas. Dana Corbit

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СКАЧАТЬ skipped down the hall, Hannah started swiping at the dampness again. She’d managed to hold herself together all through the ritual of collecting her daughter from her church program and through the drive home, but Hannah’s control had wavered the moment she was alone, changing out of her church clothes.

      Todd? In Milford again? Come to think of it, she didn’t even know why he was in town. She might know that answer now if she’d given him a chance to speak. But how could she? Without any notice, she wasn’t prepared to face him. Who was she kidding? Even with six months notice, she wouldn’t have been able to come up with a valid explanation for what she’d done.

      All of her excuses for not telling him—her anger for his leaving, her choice to never reveal the identity of her child’s father, her rationalization that Todd didn’t deserve to know—now sounded like the incoherent ramblings of a teenage girl.

      That was what they were.

      How could she ever have thought she had the right to withhold the information from him that he was a father? No one had that right to wield so much power over other people’s lives.

      She had to tell him; that was a given. And she would. Soon. She just needed a little time to regroup first. After that, she would ask around and find out whom he was visiting and how long he would stay. She would tell him everything then, but she would do it on her terms.

      Hannah nodded at the mirror, her thoughts clear for the first time since Todd appeared at her church and tilted her world on its axis.

      A knock at the front door, though, set her thoughts and her newly settled world spinning once again. Was it Todd already? No, it couldn’t be. He wouldn’t even know where she lived, although he would only have to ask her father to get that information. Reverend Bob, who still didn’t know the whole truth, either.

      Rebecca reappeared in the bathroom, this time wearing a reindeer sweatshirt with her tights. “Somebody’s knocking on the door.”

      “I heard. I’ll get the door. Why don’t you go put your jeans on? Then go set up your dolls in the living room, and I’ll be there in a minute to play.”

      Again, Rebecca scurried off, but this time, Hannah followed, turning down the hall to the front door. She stopped as her hand touched the wood. Without a peephole to check for sure, she could only hold her breath and hope she was wrong.

      Lord, please don’t let it be Todd. It’s too soon. Please give me strength when the time comes. Amen.

      Her hand was on the doorknob when his voice came through the door.

      “Hannah, it’s me. Todd. I know you’re in there. I can see the lights.”

      Panic came in a rush that clenched inside her and dampened her palms. No. She couldn’t tell him now. She wasn’t ready. Not yet.

      “Go away, Todd.”

      Though she recognized the voice as her own, the words surprised even her. She was taking the easy way out again rather than facing this mess she’d created, but she couldn’t seem to help herself.

      For a few seconds, there was no sound on the other side of the door. She almost expected to hear the crunch of snow as he trudged down the steps and away from her apartment, but instead there was a more insistent knock.

      “You might as well open the door because I’m not leaving.”

      Hannah stared at the door. Todd sounded different. The laid-back boy she remembered had been replaced by this determined and forceful guy she didn’t recognize at all, and yet she still found herself cracking the door open to him. Whatever happened to your fear of strangers? But irony encased that thought, for even this new Todd was in no way a stranger to her.

      He stood on the porch, the collar of his wool jacket flipped up to shield his ears and his hands shoved in the front pockets of his slacks. Several years on an island off the southern end of the Malay Peninsula hadn’t prepared him for a Milford December. She was surprised by the impulse to warm his hands with her own, but she remained behind the cracked door.

      “How did you find out where I live?”

      “Andrew gave me your address.” He withdrew his hand from his pocket and held out a crumpled piece of paper.

      “Why did Andrew—” she started to ask but stopped herself when the answer dawned.

      Have you told Todd? Andrew’s words from that long ago night flashed through her mind. The youth minister and his future wife, Serena, had counseled her when she’d first discovered she was pregnant. She’d denied Andrew’s assertion that Todd was the father, and neither of them had pressured her to reveal her secret.

      The secret that had come back to haunt her today.

      Hannah sighed, suddenly exhausted by the energy it had required to keep the truth hidden. “Todd, what are you doing here?”

      Todd’s teeth chattered as he zipped his jacket higher. “I told you I want to talk to you.”

      She cocked her head to the side and studied him. Now that the shock of seeing him was beginning to wear off, old, mixed emotions began to resurface. Anger she realized she had no right to feel and long-buried hurt collided, leaving her insides feeling exposed. “After five years? Why would we have anything to talk about?”

      “We do. I know I do.”

      Hannah stared at him. He’d surprised her again with his certainty when she felt so unsure. “Maybe in a few days but not yet. I’m not ready—”

      As she spoke those last three words, she started closing the door. Todd pressed his foot into the space before it could close completely.

      “Isn’t five years long enough?” he said.

      Staring at his dress shoe, Hannah waited, but he didn’t say more, so she finally lifted her gaze to his. In his eyes was a look of anguish so stark that Hannah could only remember seeing an expression like it once before. She’d found it in the mirror the day that Todd’s family left for the airport.

      He glanced away and back, and the look was gone. “I’ve waited five years to apologize to you. I’m not leaving until you let me do it.”

      Hannah blinked, her mind racing. A million times she’d imagined Todd’s reaction when she told him the truth. Now she only wanted to run and hide with her secret again, to protect her daughter from the fallout and herself from the blame she deserved.

      But she couldn’t run anymore. Todd was right. It was time.

      “Then I guess I’d better invite you in.”

      Chapter Three

      As Hannah pulled open the door, Todd released the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. His foot ached, more likely from standing out in the cold than from where she’d squeezed it in the door, but he didn’t care. He was here, she was here, and that was all that mattered.

      “Nice place,” he said before he even stepped on the mat and took a look around.

      And it was nice. Though one of the four smallish apartments in a renovated older house, Hannah had made it look warm and homey СКАЧАТЬ