Blood Ties Bundle: Blood Ties Book One: The Turning / Blood Ties Book Two: Possession / Blood Ties Book Three: Ashes to Ashes / Blood Ties Book Four: All Souls' Night. Jennifer Armintrout

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      Several times I found myself nearing Cyrus’s neighborhood and turned back. When the sun began to rise, I headed back to the apartment. My legs had grown tired hours before, but my anger propelled me to stay away.

      Nathan hadn’t come to look for me. Ziggy’s van still rusted beside the curb, and I saw light in the living room windows.

      Max sat on the couch, flipping through television channels with a bored look on his face. He held up a hand in a halfhearted wave to greet me.

      There was no sign of Nathan. “Where is he?”

      Max pointed down the hall. “He’s been in there since you left. At least he stopped playing Dark Side of the Moon. I was about to go in there and fling the damn CD player out the window.”

      I stomped toward Nathan’s bedroom, but Max’s next statement stopped me.

      “We’re going in tomorrow night. Nathan didn’t want me to tell you, but I thought you should know, seeing as it’s your sire and everything we’re going to off.”

      So Nathan hadn’t told Max what had transpired the night of the meeting. He must have had his reasons. Maybe Max was as fanatical about the Movement as Nathan had been.

      “Why didn’t he want me to know?”

      “Probably because he’s crazy about you and doesn’t want you to get hurt.” Max shrugged. “Or maybe he just thinks you’re going to fuck everything up.”

      I laughed. “I’ll bet it’s the second one.”

      Max dropped the remote and patted the couch beside him. “Come, have a chat with me.”

      I really wanted to go into the other room and give Nathan a piece of my mind, but the way Max was looking at me told me that might not be a good idea. I sat next to him, bristling when he wrapped a companionable arm around my shoulder.

      “I’m not getting fresh,” he assured me. “I just think better with my arm around a beautiful woman.”

      I rolled my eyes. “Then think fast, before I remove that arm.”

      “Okay, okay.” He chuckled. “Just let me give you some real quick advice. I’ve known Nathan for a while now. He hasn’t had a girlfriend since, God, I think it was ’84. And she wasn’t what you would call a wild woman. I think she was a CPA.

      “The point is, Nathan doesn’t get attached to people, and when he does, he has a tendency to shut down. There’s some scary shit in his past. I’m not even going to pretend to know the whole story. But he won’t let himself get close to anyone. So, if you’re thinking of going in there and tearing him a new one, keep in mind you might hurt him a little more than you intended to. And you’ll just prove his ‘love hurts’ theory right.”

      I swallowed hard, remembering words Cyrus had spat in anger. “Max, did Nathan really kill his wife?”

      It must have been a secret he was warned not to reveal, because he chewed his lip thoughtfully for a moment.

      “Don’t lie to me, Max. I’ll know if you do.” I lifted his arm off my shoulders. “Did Nathan kill his wife?”

      Max sighed. “Yes. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.”

      “But it wasn’t his fault,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, he didn’t mean to do it, right?”

      “I wish I could tell you that, kiddo.” Max’s expression was heartbreakingly tender. “But he was a different person then.”

      I excused myself and headed for the room I’d only recently begun to think of as mine.

      The couch springs creaked miserably as Max stood. “He didn’t want you to go with us because he didn’t want you to get hurt. That was his main concern. I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but don’t waste the time you’ve got left. Take it from me, eternity gets pretty damn lonely after a while.”

      I lay awake for a long time, pondering Max’s words, and the knowledge that at any moment, I could just poof out of existence.

      It wasn’t fair to let Nathan and Max risk their lives to kill Cyrus. Not when he’d just end up killing me, too. No matter how many times I thought it through, I came to the same conclusion. I should go to Cyrus and kill him myself. If he took me out in the process, the only loss would be me. And as far as I was concerned, I was dead already.

      I listened until I heard Max turn off the television, then I crept into Nathan’s bedroom. He woke immediately, bolting upright in bed. “Carrie? What’s wrong?”

      “Shh.” I peeled off my nightgown and climbed in beside him. His arms closed around me and he pulled me beneath him.

      This time, the only urgency came from his desire for me. He touched me as though reassuring himself I was still there, we still had time.

      We didn’t speak. I think we were both afraid of making it mean too much. Perhaps Nathan thought to spare me the pain of his death. I know I would have done anything to spare him the pain of mine.

      So when he kissed me, I kept the contact brief. When he slid down my body to tease me with his mouth, I didn’t cry out his name. And when he finally spoke to ask me what I wanted, I didn’t say I wanted him to make love to me. I told him to fuck me.

      Angrily, he obliged. He spread my legs wide and plunged into me. Besides that, the most contact our bodies made was the slap of his hips against my thighs and the hard grip he had on my ankles as he held them high and apart. The bed shook and slammed against the wall, and I didn’t bother to muffle my screams of pleasure. He came with a shudder that sounded like a sob and pulled me into a fierce embrace.

      I kissed his forehead and held him tight. Who was I kidding? Trying to block off my emotions for him would be like trying to stop a leak in the Hoover Dam with a cork. I had to know that eventually, the cork would shoot out and my feelings would just gush everywhere, bringing nothing but death and destruction to the valley below.

      Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be that dramatic. But it was foolish of me to think that I could deny the bond created by the blood tie, or my feelings for Nathan that had existed long before our tie was created.

      “Nathan,” I said softly through my tears. “Nathan, I—”

      “Please, don’t say it.” His words might have hurt me had I not felt the meaning behind them.

      Please, don’t say it, or I won’t be able to deny that I feel it. And I’m too afraid to let myself feel it.

      “I won’t,” I promised.

      He laced his fingers with mine and raised my hand to his lips. “Thank you.”

      But when he fell asleep, I kissed him and whispered, “I love you, Nathan.”

      Or Nolen. Or whatever. Even if I never get to find out who you are, I love you.

      Minutes after sunset, I slipped from his arms and dressed quietly. I didn’t leave a note because I had no idea what I planned to do.

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