The Years of Loving You. Ella Harper

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СКАЧАТЬ patted his cheek and looked past him. ‘I’m absolutely fine.’

      ‘You might have had a bit too much champagne,’ Ed grinned. Even plastered, Saskia was ravishing.

      Saskia smiled. ‘Maybe. I’m just having fun.’

      ‘Me too.’ Ed gave her a kiss. He watched her walk away from him, happy to see her enjoying herself so much.

      ‘I’ll give Molly a call,’ Sam said as he took his leave. ‘Chase her up. If I can’t get hold of her, I’ll probably call it a day and pop home.’

      Ed nodded back, itching to get his phone out and chase Molly. Where on earth was she? It was his engagement party, for heaven’s sakes! Ed had attended Molly’s wedding and they hadn’t even been speaking to one another at the time.

      ‘Ed, lovely do.’ Boyd pumped Ed’s hand.

      ‘Thanks.’

      ‘Listen, we need to chat about some of our investments.’ Boyd raked a hand through his hair. ‘Sorry to do this at your party, but I’m afraid I have some bad news.’

      Ed raised his eyebrows. ‘Christ, I won’t have to sell the house, will I? Saskia will never forgive me.’

      Boyd shook his head gravely. ‘I don’t think it will come to that, no.’

      ‘I was joking, Boyd!’ Ed felt a jolt of shock. ‘Are you saying we’ve lost some serious money here?’

      ‘I’m afraid so.’ Boyd was joined by two of his many children. They wrapped their arms around his legs and started whining about wanting crisps. ‘As I say, apologies for the timing, but I had to warn you.’

      ‘Er … thanks. I guess.’

      Ed felt a tremor of anxiety. The last thing he needed was for his investments to take a turn for the worse. His life was finally getting settled. He glanced over his shoulder. Where was Saskia? She seemed to have disappeared. He decided to go in search of her; he was about to make a slushy speech and she really needed to be around to hear that.

      Ed headed for the toilets but couldn’t locate Saskia. About to give up, he heard a giggle coming from the kitchen area. A Saskia giggle. Hoping she was ok, Ed poked his head in. His smile faded.

      Saskia was kissing one of the bar staff. With some enthusiasm. She caught sight of him and stopped.

      ‘Ed.’ She put a hand to her mouth.

      The young bar chap looked extremely uncomfortable. ‘Shit. Sorry. I was … this is …’

      ‘Not what it looks?’ Ed shook his head. ‘Let’s not be silly.’ He held the door open for the boy who scuttled out, red in the face.

      ‘Ed, I’m sorry about that.’ Saskia swallowed.

      ‘About what?’ Ed was reeling. ‘About me finding you snogging someone else at our engagement party?’

      ‘Yes.’ Saskia looked away. ‘You make it sound terrible.’

      ‘Er, no, Saskia. It just is terrible. I’m not sure I could articulate it in a way that doesn’t sound horrendous.’ Ed wondered how he was holding it all together. Clearly his world had just imploded slightly. Massively.

      Saskia was pleating her skirt ferociously. She had gone from flushed to pale in a short space of time and seemed to be looking at the floor with great intent. Perhaps searching for words to explain herself.

      Ed wanted to rage at her. But for some reason, he couldn’t. He wanted her to tell him why he had just walked in on her kissing some other guy. Was it the first time she’d done something like this? The tenth? Had she always been unhappy? Why had she got engaged to him if she wasn’t fully committed?

      No words formed.

      Eventually, Saskia spoke. ‘I … Ed, I just don’t think I can do this.’

      ‘Do what?’ Ed stared at her.

      ‘This.’ Saskia swallowed. ‘This party. The engagement. The … the … wedding.’

      ‘You don’t think you can do the wedding?’ Ed shook his head dumbly. ‘I don’t think I can do the wedding! Not after that.’

      ‘No, but I was thinking that beforehand … not just … after that.’

      ‘Is that supposed to make me feel better?’ Ed put his hands on his face. What the hell was happening here?

      ‘Probably not. But I need to explain.’ Saskia was twisting her hands together and she suddenly looked absurdly young.

      Ed’s stomach shifted. ‘Go ahead.’

      ‘It’s just all become a bit … serious,’ Saskia said, her eyes meeting his pleadingly.

      ‘A bit serious? Yes, I suppose weddings do feel a bit that way, don’t they?’ Ed wasn’t sure how he was supposed to deal with this.

      Saskia grabbed the edge of the kitchen counter, presumably for support. ‘The whole getting married thing. I did want things to move along a bit, but I would have been happy to stay engaged, you know. For quite a while, in fact.’

      Ed looked her in the eye, wanting to see the expression reflected there. All he saw was regret. ‘Meaning?’

      Saskia averted her eyes. ‘This has all been fun, Ed. You and me … we have incredible fun, don’t we?’

      ‘Fun. Right.’

      Ed was starting to feel like an absolute idiot. He had misread the situation between himself and Saskia. He had assumed that her hints to move things along meant marriage. But no. She wanted commitment in a soft form … a prolonged engagement that kept the ‘fun’ element of their relationship alive. No wonder she hadn’t been interested in the wedding itself. It was Ed who had allowed himself to get carried away with all of that. He had believed he was ready and that Saskia was the right girl.

      ‘So you never really wanted to get married?’

      Saskia grabbed his hand. ‘Oh, Ed. Don’t put it like that. I did want to get married. Kind of. You asked me, it felt lovely, I said yes. I just didn’t realise you wanted to dash off immediately and book venues and talk about buttonholes.’

      ‘Gosh. What a massive idiot I am.’ Ed rubbed a hand over the back of his head, not sure how his life had just blown up in his face.

      ‘You’re not an idiot.’ Saskia sounded upset now. ‘I just got swept up with your enthusiasm. I did love you, Ed. I mean, I do.’

      ‘Do you?’ Ed turned to face her.

      ‘Yes. This is just …’ Saskia paused, her pretty face scrunching up. ‘It just doesn’t feel like fun any more, Ed. It feels way too serious. Too grown-up. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I’m just too immature for all this stuff.’

      Ed let out a sigh. What the hell was he supposed to say to that? Saskia was very young, admittedly. Way younger than him. But that didn’t СКАЧАТЬ