Gracie. Marie Maxwell
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Название: Gracie

Автор: Marie Maxwell

Издательство: HarperCollins

Жанр: Современная зарубежная литература

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isbn: 9780007478422

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СКАЧАТЬ neighbours know. That baby was my first-born, he was your grandson, your first grandchild but you gave him away to strangers …’

      ‘It was for the best as we saw it at the time, best for everyone, but especially for you,’ her father interrupted. ‘You can’t blame us for what we did. We thought it was right then and, if I’m honest, I still think it was right, but I think it’s also time to stop talking about it. Both of you. It can’t be changed, so there’s no point in going over it again and again.’

      Gracie shrugged and looked into the middle distance. He was right. The same ground had been covered each time she and her mother had been face to face until eventually Gracie had stopped visiting and the rift had widened. But now she needed to know that all would be well when she and Sean went to see them to announce the engagement formally.

      ‘Okay, I’d love to put it behind us,’ Gracie said. ‘But can you just promise me you won’t mention anything in front of Sean when I bring him round? I really want this to work with him – he’s a nice young man and I want to be married and have a baby that I can keep, I really do …’

      ‘We won’t say anything but, be warned, secrets always come out and then it’ll end in tears.’ Her father shook his head and waved a finger at Gracie, the way he used to when she was a child. ‘Your mother and I won’t say a word – today is the last time it will ever be mentioned, but you should think about telling your young man yourself. It’s not a good idea to start your married life with secrets,’ he said wisely.

      ‘I can’t tell him now; I’ve left it too late. I had a chance and I let it go so now it has to be buried forever. I don’t want Sean to know I visited today.’

      Fred and Dot McCabe both nodded; her father with a smile on his face and her mother with her usual frown.

      ‘We won’t say anything …’ Fred said. ‘Now I really must make that cuppa. I don’t know about you two but I’m parched.’

      As she looked from one to the other, Gracie knew instinctively that her secret would be kept safe with her parents, even if it would be mostly for her mother’s sake.

      For the first time in many years, father, mother and daughter sat down together and had a conversation that didn’t revolve around recriminations. The truce was a little uneasy between them but Gracie tried her best. She wanted to make up with them, even if she only managed a superficial relationship as her friend Ruby had done with her own family. But Gracie knew that even if she forgave, she could never really forget what had happened. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, the memory of it was as sharp and clear as if it had only just happened.

       FOUR

       1946

      ‘Gracie … Why aren’t you up? You’ll be out on your ear if you’re late again …’

      ‘I feel sick and I’ve got belly-ache, I can’t go today …’ Gracie McCabe moaned from her bed.

      ‘Oh yes you can,’ Dot McCabe shouted from the other side of the door, before flinging it open so hard it crashed against the end of the bed. She turned the dim ceiling light on and went into the bedroom. ‘Now you just get out of that bed and get yourself to work. We need the money, you lazy little mare. Get up …’

      When Gracie didn’t move her mother pulled the bedclothes back in one swift movement. ‘What’s going on with you girl? Get your backside up now and get going. If you miss the bus you’ll have to walk, you’re not using my bicycle again.’

      ‘I don’t feel well, I feel sick …’

      ‘That’s no excuse, get out of that bed right now and get yourself dressed.’

      Jennifer and Jeanette, Gracie’s fourteen-year-old twin sisters, who had still been asleep in the double bed across the room, sat up quickly and nudged each other. Both were openly amused that it was their sister in Dot McCabe’s angry firing line instead of them.

      The two girls weren’t identical twins; in fact they were not remotely alike in either appearance or temperament. Despite their mother’s best efforts to dress and treat them the same, they were really just two sisters who happened to be the same age, two sisters with nothing in common except for their birth.

      Jennifer was quiet, academic and very similar in appearance to Gracie and her mother in both stature and features, whereas Jeanette was shorter, her hair naturally fair and her figure curvy, even at fourteen, with a sprinkling of freckles and a loud laugh. She was also prone to getting into trouble both at school and with the neighbours, something which Jennifer never did.

      When they were young they had often bickered but always sided against everyone else, but as they’d grown older their opposing personalities had led them to grow slightly apart and have different friends and hobbies.

      As they sat on the bed watching the scene in front of them, Dot McCabe suddenly realised they were there and nodded her head in their direction.

      ‘These two have got to get ready for school. If you’re going to be sick then get yourself into the kitchen and get a bowl.’

      Gracie threw the rest of her covers off and, with her shoulders hunched and clutching her stomach tightly, she quickly ran from the room, her mother hot on her heels. She knew she wasn’t going to be sick as such but she wasn’t well enough to go to work. She was tired, she was emotional and she was very scared.

      Suddenly she was also fed up with covering up and pretending. It was time for her secret to come out.

      ‘Stop going on at me all the time!’ Gracie screamed with her back to Dot. ‘I’m not going to be sick. I’m in the family way, I feel bad because I’m going to have a baby …’

      Gracie looked defiantly at her mother and watched the colour drain from the woman’s face.

      ‘What did you just say?’

      Suddenly aware of the enormity of what she was saying out loud for the first time, Gracie backed away.

      ‘I said, I said …’ she stuttered. ‘I said, I’m going to have a baby and I can’t go to work.’

      ‘No you’re not, you can’t be,’ her mother interrupted. ‘Don’t say stupid things like that just cos you don’t want to go to work, that’s wicked …’

      ‘Well I am. I’ve not had a show for ages and my belly’s fat. Look.’ With fake bravado Gracie unfolded her arms and patted her eight months pregnant stomach through her thin cotton nightdress, the growing stomach that she’d managed to keep hidden from everyone, both at home and at work.

      Dot McCabe’s expression was almost serene as she looked first at the ceiling and then at her daughter’s swollen belly. She stared quietly for a few moments as she tried to take in the information her oldest child had given her, and then swiftly took two steps forward and slapped her daughter hard around the ear with the flat of her hand.

      Then she completely lost control and did it over and over again, with both hands, hitting her as hard as she could.

      ‘You dirty slut, you’re dirty … dirty! How could you do that? You disgusting creature!’

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