The Lost Diary of Robin Hood’s Money Man. Steve Barlow
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Название: The Lost Diary of Robin Hood’s Money Man
Автор: Steve Barlow
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Книги для детей: прочее
isbn: 9780007571567
isbn:
At least Marian has half a brain, which means that the two of them have got about three-quarters of a brain between them. I dread to think what their kids will be like.
We’re waiting for Richard to come over from France to be crowned King, now that his dad’s dead. To pass the time, I’ve been helping young Robert update his Big Boy’s Kings of England Sticker Book.
I’ve been arguing about politics with young master Robert.
His family originally came from Normandy in France (so did mine for that matter). We Normans arrived in England with William the Conqueror in 1066 and knocked seven barrels out of King Harold and his Saxons at the Battle of Hastings. Then we took most of the top jobs (and the land) from the Saxons. There are still a few rich Saxon families, but the real bossmen are French (thank goodness!). The Saxons are mainly tradespeople and peasants.
Robert owns Locksley Manor, and he’s had several run-ins with the Sheriff of Nottingham. The Sheriff is a thug and a bully, and he treats his peasants like dirt. He and Robert don’t exactly see eye to eye. Robert says it’s a landowner’s duty to look after his Saxon peasants and treat them with respect. That’s how the Feudal System is meant to work.
Maybe Robert’s right – I can’t be bothered to argue. Money’s money. Saxons earn it, I count it, Normans spend it. End of story.
Richard’s back in England at last and Earl David has received his invitation (or rather command) to attend his coronation. The Earl has to hold a ceremonial sword for the King. He’s taking me along to make sure young Robert doesn’t embarrass us all (or get our bits cut off) by trying to play practical jokes or some other such nonsense.
* Anti-Jewish feeling was very strong in England during this time.
Richard deserves the throne after what he had to go through at the coronation. Talk about embarrassing! He had to stand at the front of the church and get undressed in front of everyone! He stripped right down to his undies. I’m surprised he didn’t catch a chill – it was well draughty up the aisle. Then he put on golden sandals and had hot oil poured all over him by a priest. (Robert whispered to me that the priest with the hot oil was probably a fish friar or a chip monk – I didn’t laugh.) At last Richard put on his clothes again, was crowned and we all shouted hooray. Then we all trooped off for a big feast. That’s when the trouble started.
Some Jews tried to enter the banqueting hall to present the King with a gift. However, they were attacked by some of the guests. This set off the crowd outside, and apparently they’ve run into London to find as many Jews as they can. I’m not sure what they’re going to do, but it probably won’t be very nice.*
* It wasn’t. Hundreds of Jews were murdered and their houses ransacked and burnt.
Earl David, the silly old fool, is determined to join King Richard’s Crusade to the Holy Land. My cousin, Basil Count de Money, is going too. He sent me a brochure.
Earl David obviously hasn’t read the small print. I’ve told him that this Crusade will cost him a fortune, but he won’t listen.
Robert is mad keen to go as well, but I put my foot down about the cost of that. (Unfortunately I put my foot down on Earl David’s toe, which didn’t do his gout any good.) Earl David agreed with me. He’s also worried that the Sheriff of Nottingham has got his eyes on the Huntingdon estates. I can see the Earl’s problem:
The Sheriff is a big buddy of Prince John
While Big Brother, Richard, is away at the wars, John might get some funny ideas
If anything happens to Earl David, one of John’s funny ideas might be to make the Sheriff, or one of his other mates, Earl of Huntingdon.
Earl David wants Robert to stay at home and look after his estates, so he won’t let Robert go on the Crusade. Robert is now in a sulk.
King Richard’s been raising money for the Crusade. He’s been selling off land, jobs and titles like there’s no tomorrow. He’s been taxing everyone (me included!) and fining people for not volunteering to go on the Crusade. He’s even said that he’ll sell London, if he can find a buyer for it!
What a nerve, eh? Richard nips over from France, gets crowned, takes everyone’s money and says, “Thanks a lot, ta-ta, cheerio, I’m off!”
I had to go to Dover to see Earl David aboard the ship, bound for the Crusade. Cousin Basil is going across to France with Richard first to make all the final preparations. Richard is supposed to be meeting up with King Philip Augustus of France. There’ll be fur flying at that meeting. By all accounts, Richard and Philip get on like two cats in a bag.
The whole scene at Dover was organised chaos. There seemed to be scores of ships and thousands of sailors swearing good ripe sea oaths at each other and trying to load hundreds of horses, tons of food and drink, and great piles of weapons. Meanwhile, thousands of soldiers were standing round gawping and getting in the way.
It’s obvious that this Crusade is going to cost a pretty fortune. And my taxes have paid for some of it!
Basil waved goodbye and promised to keep in touch.