The Lost Diary Of Tutankhamun’s Mummy. Clive Dickinson
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Название: The Lost Diary Of Tutankhamun’s Mummy
Автор: Clive Dickinson
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Книги для детей: прочее
isbn: 9780007502929
isbn:
5. Be a good mummy.
It must be having to leave Tutti for a long time that set me thinking about what it takes to be a mummy, and how I must be a really good mummy from now until I go away. I expect anyone can become a rotten mummy. To be a good mummy, one that people will still be talking about long after you’ve gone to the Underworld, that takes some doing. Naturally I want to be an extra-special mummy, so I looked up ‘Mummies’ in the Yellow Papyri and found this advertisement.
With an invitation like that I was round at Karnak Way like an arrow from a bow. Mr Rappemtite, the head mummy man was very helpful. He showed me some lovely colour pictures painted on the wall and gave me their brochure which explains everything that has to be done if I’m going to be a good mummy.
It wasn’t quite what I expected, but then so many things aren’t quite what I expect.
MAKING THE MOST OF THE NEXT LIFE
At MUM’S THE WORD we know how much we all enjoy life here on earth. That’s why we want all our customers to get the best from the next life. And take Osiris’s word for it, the next life is even better than this one!
MUM’S THE WORD has been sending customers onto the best of afterlives for centuries. With a good mummy that will last for ever you’ll know your spirit will have somewhere safe and sound to rest for ever as well.
First we give you a good clean and take out the squidgy bits inside. (Don’t worry, they’re put into special jars to stay with you and we always make sure the heart goes back where it belongs.)
Next comes the drying stage. For forty days our customers are packed in a sort of salt – we call it natron in the trade. This soaks up all the moisture leaving you fresh and dry.
When that’s over it’s time for another wash and a rub with all your favourite spices to give you a heavenly smell your friends will envy until the day they die.
When you’re quite ready we start the most skilful part of the process – the wrapping. Hundreds of metres of top-quality linen bandages are wrapped tightly round and round and round you. It takes two weeks from start to finish, but by the end you can be sure you’ll stay in perfect shape for as long as you want.
We offer a choice of outer coverings (‘coffins’ in the trade). These range from the Lo-Kost to the gold-covered Pharaoh Special, but whichever you choose there’ll be no mistaking whose mummy you are because we guarantee a life-like mask of you on the outside.
You can tell they offer a very good service. Lots of my old friends have been to them. They take care of everything. They send you off into the afterlife with all you could possibly need: furniture, food, boats to travel and fish in, clothes, games to play, statues to keep you company, musical instruments, chariots and hunting weapons, jewellery, even guide books to the Underworld – you name it, they’ll make sure you have it. In fact they do such a good job that I have heard that dreadful robbers sometimes break in and steal things from you. If that’s going to happen, I’d rather have everything out on show somewhere, so that everyone can have a look at it. At least they’d see what a good mummy I am.
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