The Complete A–Z of Everything Carry On. Richard Webber

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      Amanda Barrie in fine form as Cleo

      Hengist Pod’s simple life as a wheelmaker specialising in making square wheels is forever changed when the Romans arrive and ransack his village. While his new neighbour, Horsa, stays with the rest of the villagers to try and fight off the Romans, Hengist jumps on his square-wheeled contraption and heads off to seek help. He hasn’t gone far before his fragile vehicle collapses and he ends up thumbing a lift; when he gratefully accepts a ride in a wagon, he jumps in the back only to find he’s in the company of his fellow cavemen, including Horsa, who’ve been taken prisoner by the Romans.

      As they head for Rome, Julius Caesar is anxious to leave the damp British climate behind for sunnier skies back home; when a message arrives warning that Brutus might be planning to take over the throne in his absence, he rushes back to be met by a less than rapturous welcome.

      Caesar has become so unpopular that even his father-in-law, Seneca, is having premonitions about his impending doom. Caesar consults the Vestal Virgins but as he enters the Temple of Vesta, Bilius, his personal bodyguard, takes out his sword with the intention of slaying his leader. Unbeknown to Caesar, Horsa and Hengist Pod have escaped from the slave market and are hiding with the Vestal Virgins, and a mix-up leaves numerous Roman soldiers dead and Hengist hailed as the hero by Caesar who, believing he saved his life, makes him a centurion and personal bodyguard.

      Treachery is rife. When Mark Antony is sent by Caesar to see Cleopatra, the Queen of the Nile, he succumbs to her charm and beauty; when Cleopatra mentions how good they could be together if Mark Anthony was emperor of Rome, he plans to topple Caesar. Upon returning to Rome, he tells the Roman leader that Cleopatra wants to meet him, although the plan is for Caesar to be killed en route. The Roman soldiers on the ship who intend murdering Caesar are all killed by the galley slaves who manage to escape; Caesar, however, doesn’t know this and, thinking the soldiers are out to get him, pushes Hengist out to deal with the rebels. A quivering wreck, Hengist soon perks up when he finds the soldiers already dead, so pretends to have killed them himself, thereby gaining even more respect from his new boss.

      When Mark Antony’s plans to kill Caesar at sea are thwarted, he hatches another one with Cleopatra inviting him to her bedchamber. But when he’s told of a premonition depicting his death, Caesar decides against going and sends Hengist Pod instead. When he climbs on the bed with Cleopatra it collapses on top of Mark Antony, who was waiting underneath to kill Caesar. Before long, Horsa and the other galley slaves, who’ve entered the palace in search of food, come to Hengist’s rescue again.

      Despite surviving all the failed murder attempts, it isn’t long before Caesar bites the dust, leaving Mark Antony free to team up with Cleopatra, Horsa to marry his long-lost love, Gloria, and Hengist to become a new man and father plenty of kids.