My Former Heart. Cressida Connolly

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ bone in the bridge of his nose made him resemble a rather solemn wading bird. She liked his voice and his rather shy sidelong smile. She was fond of Jimmy, but he was always so busy and caught up with running things and anyway he was really from Edward’s past life more than hers. It was nice to find a new friend. This was the first time Iris had made a friend of a man: although she knew men, and liked them, they were generally friends of her husband’s or the husbands of her friends. Or else they hadn’t been friends but boyfriends, which was quite a different thing. Digby was the first man she’d ever made friends with on her own account. Most evenings after that they played cards, and when they had days or afternoons off they went down to the sea somewhere or to a café in a town. Occasionally Michael joined them, reminding Iris what it was like to be flirted with.

      ‘Has anyone ever told you what marvellous eyes you have?’ Michael asked her, one afternoon.

      ‘Now, what would you think?’ she said.

      ‘I think yes. But I bet no one’s told you what colour they are.’

      ‘No?’ She smiled.

      ‘Aventurine.’ He looked very pleased with himself, as if he’d produced a winning hand at cards.

      ‘But that’s cheating!’ exclaimed Iris. ‘I don’t know what that is. I don’t know what it looks like.’

      ‘It looks like your eyes is the thing. It’s tawny-coloured glass, with flecks of gold in it.’

      ‘Sounds lovely.’

      ‘It is. You are.’

      Iris blushed.

      As the spring went on, the snow around the Cedars began to shrink back, exposing ever wider strips of bare, rocky ground. The school was to remain open for the early part of the summer at least, training men in other aspects of mountain warfare, such as rock climbing. One morning, when Iris was at her desk, Digby came in without knocking.

      ‘Quick! You absolutely must come at once!’ he told her.

      She stood up, flustered.

      ‘Where? What’s happened?’

      ‘It’s nothing to worry about. Not anything like that, but you must come. Outside. Quickly.’

      She followed him along the corridor, out into the courtyard and round the side of the building to a spot where they could see straight down the valley, which sloped away towards the sea. There were already a number of people standing about, looking. And then Iris saw what they were staring at: below them, suspended in the air, hung a great dark cloud which writhed and tumbled in the cool air.

      ‘Look,’ said Digby, pointing.

      ‘Goodness!’ said Iris. ‘What on earth is it? Not locusts surely?’

      ‘If it’s a swarm of bees we might be well advised to get out of the line of fire,’ someone said.

      ‘They’re too big to be bees.’

      ‘You don’t think they’re bats, do you?’

      ‘I hope not.’

      ‘Are they wee birds?’ someone asked.

      ‘They must be,’ someone else said.

      Everyone stood still as the cloud danced closer and closer, until it was possible to discern individual shapes among its mass. Spots of colour on their wings flashed as they caught the sunlight; others were only white, fluttering upward like handkerchiefs blown from a washing line, caught in a current of air.

      ‘Butterflies!’ Iris laughed, delighted.

      There must have been hundreds of thousands of them, some flying only a few inches above the ground, others as high as a three-storey house. They flew up onto the plateau and then on, up towards the pass. It was as if some invisible dam had burst, and the butterflies were flooding the sky in a swollen river of flight. Almost as remarkable as the sight of them was the silence: they moved as soundlessly as a great shoal of fish. By and by, everyone in the building came out to look. Some of the men were holding out their hats, catching the butterflies in them as easily as if they had been shrimping nets, dangled in a shallow rock pool. Iris put her arm through Digby’s and they stood looking together.

      The butterflies kept coming for two days. Everyone talked of little else. Teams who ventured up towards the col said the upper slopes were littered with dead butterflies, their wings darkening as they blotted the moisture from the ever-retreating snow. Iris and Digby collected several from the ground in the courtyard and put them in cigarette boxes, to take to Michael. He’d be able to identify them, they were sure.

      ‘You don’t mind, do you, the way Michael goes on?’ Digby asked her, as they drove down to the coast, a week after the butterflies had stopped, with the specimens on the back seat. ‘I mean, you don’t find it tiresome the way he …?’

      ‘Heavens, no,’ said Iris. ‘It’s all quite good-natured. Anyway, he’s amusing.’

      ‘But you’re not …’

      ‘Oh no. Absolutely not.’

      ‘Because of your husband?’ asked Digby. It was the first time in their friendship that he had mentioned her marriage.

      ‘Not actually.’ Confiding didn’t come readily to Iris; she preferred to live than to talk, but she felt she could trust Digby, that there was an understanding between them.

      ‘Look, the thing is that there’s been someone else. Someone since I was married, I mean. It all came to a head last year, while Edward was out of the country on service. Then things got rather complicated because he was sent away suddenly, and I didn’t know where he’d been posted – this other man, not Edward. Then I saw him, I was sure it was him, on a newsreel and it was all rather frantic, and one way or another that led me to Cairo …’

      Digby was silent.

      ‘Oh dear. Do you disapprove?’ asked Iris.

      ‘No. It’s not that,’ said Digby.

      ‘The thing is that I didn’t find him, and now I’m not sure that it would have been a good idea anyway. I’m not sure that I want to know where he is after all. I mean as long as he’s all right. I’ve been trying to forget about him. It was too much, you see. He isn’t free either, his wife’s … well, perhaps we needn’t go into that. Anyway, I … I certainly wasn’t thinking that Michael … I mean, it’s the last thing …’

      ‘No. I should think not.’

      ‘You’re the only one who knows. Jimmy doesn’t know anything about it, and I’d rather he didn’t,’ she said, suddenly regretting her unaccustomed candour. ‘It’s all been rather a muddle. I know I’m entirely at fault, but …’

      ‘No, of course. I’ll say nothing.’

      After this she began to see rather less of Digby. Their nightly card games somehow stopped, although they still kept each other company, not talking much, when they both had a day’s leave. In due course Michael went back to London. Among his luggage were several crates full of carefully wrapped insects, the shells of gastropods and of СКАЧАТЬ