Chocolate Busters: The Easy Way to Kick It!. Jason Vale

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СКАЧАТЬ them slightly to give it a little more spark. Now sometimes we say the same story so often that in the end even we end up believing it. Is it possible that exactly the same thing could have happened with the ‘taste’ and ‘feelings’ of chocolate? Is it possible that all this ‘Oh, the way it melts in your mouth’ or ‘It’s simply orgasmic, better than sex’ is in reality a load of old tosh?

      Like so many things in life, the idea of having it is much better than the reality and what we must realize is that the idea of the fabulous taste of chocolate is constantly being perpetuated by the media, advertising, the GODS and, funny enough, by ourselves! Haven’t you been out for meal and tried to sell the idea of a chocolate dessert to others so you were not alone in your drug-food moment. And didn’t you exaggerate it, oh so slightly? You know, ‘Go on, how about some delicious, ice-cool chocolate ice-cream?’ or ‘They do a devilishly gorgeous full chocolate gateau – go on, you only live once.’ In truth, once the GODS have got us, they might as well save their money on advertising – we end up doing it for them for free! But why? What is sooooooo special about the taste? Show me one person who actually puts a piece of chocolate into their mouth slowly, lets it melt slowly, and slowly savours the flavours, and I’ll drink some of that sanguinaccio! The truth is we’re on to the next chocolate or bite of bar before the first has had a chance to hit the sides. All this stuff we expound – ’It’s simply heaven’, ‘It’s better than sex’ – in truth (excuse my French), it’s all bollocks, isn’t it? It’s stuff we’ve said and heard said over the years and it’s a neat way, if we’re honest (?), of helping to justify our intake.

      Let’s look at the Flake ad again. There she is, a beautiful, slim woman, not a care in the world, in a bathroom that’s bigger than my flat. She is orally, seductively having a Flake in the bath.

      Impression – it’s better than sex! Have you ever actually tried eating a Flake in the bath? You get bits stuck on the roof of your mouth, bits in the bath and you never really know what to do with those bits left in the wrapper. You make a sort of funnel with the wrapper, place one end in your mouth and turn yourself into a human chute, praying you don’t get it everywhere. You then say, ‘Oh, I wish I hadn’t had that’ – funny how you don’t see this on the Flake ad, isn’t it? Britney Spears was once quoted as saying, ‘Chocolate for me is just like an orgasm’ (she needs to get out more!). Having a bar of chocolate is not better than sex, no matter how often people say it. However, if you actually do believe that, then instead of eating more, trying to attain that pleasure, may I make a suggestion – CHANGE YOUR PARTNER! (or buy some chocolate love toys.)

      DAYLIGHT SNOBBERY

      The taste thing has, like with wine, got completely out of hand. Now there are even professional chocolate tasters and official chocolate connoisseurs – once again the word ‘bollocks’ springs to mind. At Mars’ chocolate-making plant in the US, a panel of professional chocolate tasters meet every day to taste the goods. You may think that this sounds like the best job in the world, but like wine tasters, they’re not allowed to swallow, and the chocolate they taste hasn’t even been sweetened. So if you think about the roasted cocoa beans from Cadbury and my friends wanting to be sick, all of a sudden the job doesn’t sound so dreamy.

      But it is the pretentious so-called connoisseurs of chocolate who really expose this taste sensation nonsense for what it is. Just like their ‘look at me, I’ve got an education’ wine tasting cousins, these choco-connoisseurs come out with the biggest load of bullshit in order to make themselves sound important. If you think wine tasters sound pathetic as they drink some gone-off fruit and fermented vegetation while proclaiming to the world that it has a good nose, full body and is ‘somewhat mysterious’ before spitting it into a bucket, that is nothing compared to the chocolate gang. There they are at the annual chocolate tasting convention (yes, there is such a thing) putting pieces of chocolate on their tongues, letting it melt slightly, then spitting it out – while proclaiming, no doubt, that it has a ‘distinctive West African gusto’, a ‘1945 Swiss feel about it’ and, once again, it probably is ‘somewhat mysterious’. The mystery is how these people get the vote! Do you think they’ve been saying this sort of stuff for so long that they now believe what they’re saying?

      CHOCOLATE THERAPY

      If you think that’s barking, then what do you think of this next chap? His name is Murray Langham, author of the book Chocolate Therapy: Unwrap the Secrets of Your Inner Self. I was once on a radio programme with this guy when he was launching his book in the UK – he was on the phone from the States and I was in a BBC studio here in England. I don’t want to mock but ‘HELLO, IS THERE ANYBODY HOME?’ He claims that depending on the taste and shape of the chocolate you like, it not only determines part of your future but also tells you the kind of person you are. For example, if you like the taste of chocolate, ‘you are part of the advancement of the human race, looking to the future. You’re a pro-active person who respects other people’s points of view …’ and so it goes on. He then says that if you don’t like chocolate then ‘… perhaps you need to see a chocolate therapist.’ Now I realize that most people haven’t advanced to this level of far-out theory to sell the idea of chocolate to themselves and others, but you may not be lagging that far behind!

      CONFECTIONERY

      The fact is, you are not addicted because of the taste. You have certainly acquired a taste for it, there’s no question of that, and, yes, possibly you do now love the flavour of your favourite ‘brand’ of chocolate. But what must be clear is that is not why you find it hard to stop eating it. I love freshly picked strawberries. I love the texture, the look, the taste, the way a cool strawberry on a hot summer’s day feels in the mouth. I love the way that once in the mouth it begins to soften and melt, the flavours slowly trickling down my throat. I love all of that, but after I’ve had one I don’t have to ‘hammer the rest home’ until I feel sick; I don’t have to try and sell them to myself with provocative words or get people to ‘join me’ without feeling guilty. And if they were making me fat, ill, miserable and spotty I certainly wouldn’t have to buy a book on how to stop eating them! I don’t mean to shout but this point must be clear before we move on:

      YOU ARE NOT ADDICTED BECAUSE OF THE TASTE!

      

      You need to understand the reason for the ‘hook’ isn’t simply down to a very clever manipulating and manufactured taste, but the whole brainwashing package. And it’s the brainwashing package that needs looking at most of all. Taste clearly does come into it, I’m not saying for one second it doesn’t, and like I say you have indeed acquired more than a simple taste that you possibly now like very much, but you need to realize even the taste is a con. Not only are there professionals who are paid massive amounts of money to trick your taste buds and who can literally make anything taste of anything. Taste technology is now so advanced that they can make an artificial taste of vanilla if they so wish. Every aspect of the ‘taste sensation’ has been cleverly designed to trick you and, more importantly, to make sure that you come back for more. You need to realize that the chemicals and other apparent ‘foods’ they use to cover up the foul taste of cocoa also create part of the mental hook. The reason? Some are highly addictive!

      We have seen already that there are many layers to this chocolate wolf – advertising, conditioning, brainwashing and taste. But each segment has its own layer and each one needs stripping fully before you can even begin to make the mental shift to freedom. Remember, I don’t expect you to get rid of chocolate yet, please tuck in if you want to throughout your reading of this book. We need to remove every layer and then give you the mental guidance before you can make the jump (glad that’s clear!).

      On the taste front, СКАЧАТЬ