The Military Wives: Wherever You Are – Nicky’s Story. The Wives Military

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СКАЧАТЬ had been fine, and we sat outside, drank wine, played cards and felt normal again. It made him going back so much worse – in some ways worse than him leaving at the beginning of the tour.

      The return home is also so difficult. He’s exhausted, and he wants to collapse, not be bothered doing things. He wants to lie in all morning; I want to do things with him that we haven’t done for six months. It’s hard to manage the balance. And there are always little niggles: he upsets my routines, he can’t find things in the kitchen.

      He says, ‘Where’s the pepper?’

      ‘You know where it is. It’s where it always is.’

      ‘I can’t remember. I haven’t been here for six months.’

      We’ve both changed – not fundamentally, but in some ways. We have to work at finding our boundaries again. It’s a difficult balancing act: military wives always play second fiddle to their husbands’ careers, but they also have to be completely independent. I want him to know that I need him, but I also need to be able to cope without him.

      Twelve months after he came back from Iraq we moved to Catterick, and we knew when he went there that he would go to Afghanistan. When he told me, I had a terrible sinking feeling.

      Catterick was my first time in married quarters. Everyone was very friendly, but the first question was always: ‘Have you got children?’ When you say no they say everything from ‘Lucky you’ to ‘Your life must be so easy.’ Nobody knows how to deal with it, but you have to deal with it.

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