A Little Friendly Advice. Siobhan Vivian

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СКАЧАТЬ so stupid. Okay. Well. Do you remember that map I used to have in my bedroom? I don’t know why, but I wanted to take a look at Oregon.”

      Beth blinks a couple of times.

      “You know, in my old house. The U.S. map that hid my super ugly wallpaper?”

      I search her face for a glimmer of recognition. If anyone should remember something from my life in painstaking detail, it’s Beth. But then I realize she’s not confused. She knows exactly what I’m talking about.

      “Ruby,” she says, wrapping my hand inside hers, “I don’t think it’s such a great idea for you to be thinking like that.”

      “Like what?”

      “Well, like, imagining where Jim might be living or something. Because — and I’m only saying this because I’m your best friend — he’s probably not coming back after how things went down last night. And the more you learn about him, the harder he’s going to be to forget again.” She looks away from me, up at the buzzing lights in metal cages over our head. “You’ve come so far. Don’t let this mess you up.”

      “I was just curious,” I whisper. Though I know she’s right. I hardly knew anything about Jim when I was a kid, and it took years for me to get over him leaving. Imagine how tough it would be if he became a real person, instead of a vague idea of what he might really be like.

      “I’m just giving you a little friendly advice.” She nudges me with her bony shoulder. “That’s my job.”

      The shrill whir of a whistle diverts my attention to the court. Katherine is underneath the basket, wrestling with a girl from the opposing team over a loose ball. Neither wants to let go, so two additional referees add their whistles to the mix. Katherine’s throwing crazy elbows, thrashing for control. Finally, the other girl releases her grip, and Katherine screams a hoarse victory cry into her face. The referee blows a final long blast, flashes his hands in the shape of a T, and the angry Akron coach flags Katherine over to the bench.

      But Katherine’s not quite finished, arguing down the ref and acting like his call was insanely unjustified. The brunette tries to lead her away by the arm, but Katherine flails free and stalks over on her own accord. She crashes onto the bench, grabs a Gatorade bottle, and squeezes a thick green stream down the back of her throat. She spots me in the stands, but doesn’t smile.

      “Did you see that?” I turn to face Beth, but she’s looking at me all googly-eyed.

      “Come on,” she says and kicks the empty bleacher in front of her. When I don’t spring to action she whines, “Ruby! Come on! You know this will make you feel better.”

      Sometimes, when I’d get really upset about Jim stuff, Beth would sit me on the floor and French braid my hair over and over again until I calmed down. She hasn’t had to do it in years, and I’m not even that stressed or anything right now, but I guess she wants me to know she’s still there for me, like always. So I slide in front of her and pull out my hair thing. Piles fall down to my shoulders. It still feels damp at my roots from my morning shower.

      “Whoa!” she squeals. “Ruby, your hair looks amazing.”

      “Really?”

      She digs frantically in her bag. “Crap. I don’t have a mirror. Where’s your camera?” Without asking, she digs into my bag and pulls it out. I make a goofy face into the lens, puffing out my cheeks like a chipmunk. Beth snaps the picture and looks pleased. She turns it around. Even though my face looks stupid, my normally flat hair is chunky and wavy, like I’ve spent the day at the beach. It’s almost pretty, which is so not a word I ever use to describe myself.

      “Oh, my God! Maybe you and Teddy can finally consummate your marriage tonight.”

      “What are you talking about?”

      She smiles. “You know. A little thing called fourth-grade Halloween, when Teddy was James Bond and you were Princess Diana, marching together in the school parade. Everyone thought you were husband and wife.”

      We both giggle. It feels really good. “Holy crap. I forgot about that.”

      “Not at all surprising, considering you have a terribly memory.” She rolls her eyes. “Anyhow, I totally predict that you will make out with Teddy tonight.” She crosses her arms and nods her head once, like a genie. “It’ll be great. You’ll kiss all your troubles away.”

      “Eww!” I say, and stick my tongue out. There’s something a little daytime-talk-show about trying not to obsess about your deadbeat dad by randomly hooking up with some guy. Plus, it’s not like I have a million other guys I’ve kissed in my lifetime. There hasn’t even been one. And I don’t know if I want my first to be tainted with his memory.

      “What do you mean eww?” Beth pokes a finger at my chest. “Ruby, I’m starting to think that you might have a phobia about hooking up. Like a fear of getting close to a guy or something. Because of your parents.”

      I actually contemplate her words for a few seconds. But then I notice how Beth’s face is super stony and serious. Too serious. “You’re so full of it.”

      She rocks back with laughter. “Then prove me wrong!”

      Kissing Teddy might be a good way to take my mind off things. And I don’t get many chances to prove Beth wrong about anything. So I flash a crooked grin and decide to seize this particular opportunity by the lips.

SIX

      This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

      Admittedly, the idea of distracting myself with a random hookup left me feeling unusually warm and malleable for the rest of Friday. I abandoned all my standard reservations and let Beth take charge of getting me make-out ready. She swept some lilac eye shadow across my lids and pinned back some of my waves with a sparkly barrette. I borrowed Maria’s vintage rhinestone earrings and Katherine’s wide leather belt. And I even let Beth snip open the collar of my too-old and too-tight Akron Public Library Read-A-Thon T-shirt. Even though I hadn’t actually seen Teddy in about four years, I conjured up enough adorable memories of him to get by on for the afternoon, picturing the cute boy who used to take the class hermit crabs home every summer.

      The Teddy of tonight, however, is not so much adorable as he is enormous. He’s linebacker-huge, with matching tribal bicep tattoos. His neck is easily as thick as my waist, Darwin-mandated to support his big head. Dark rings of perspiration bleed out along the seams of his lime-green polo shirt, a snug extra-extra-large. Droplets twinkle on the sides of his forehead, and when his nervous habit of running his hands through his brown military buzz cut kicks in, sprays of sweat halo his head. There’s only one familiar detail — Teddy’s still as smiley as ever, especially since his teeth, now freed from the braces of his youth, are perfectly straight and white.

      He’s being nice and all, but there’s no chemistry. Still, I’m trying to remain positive. I’m trying to keep kissing on my mind.

      Beth and I have our backs pressed up against the wood panels of Teddy’s basement wall. He’s standing in front of us, stocky legs spread in an upside-down V, rocking his weight from side to side. I wonder if he knows what’s going on, that Beth is baiting him to be my very first kiss.

      I’m not talking much, СКАЧАТЬ